My Musical Masterpieces

Hmm... lately I've been writing a lot of material but I only have a couple people I can show the music to.... Well I could ask more people but when would I have the opportunity?

So I thought about it and I thought it would be cool if I could make a thread were I could post some riffs and shit for some constructive criticism. I'll post like a couple riffs a week I guess, it all depends on how good the week goes musically. Although I'll probably forget about this thread sometime I just want to get some stuff heard so I can have an honest opinion.

I just wrote this about an hour ago, the song itself is done but still needs to be recorded in full. The drums are a program that allows you to play on your keyboard and it's fun as hell to just sit there and mess around on.

This one's working title is: Promise Of Deciet

I'll probably put some more up tonight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0klKQ1DRh4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M74au8DhJIg

The second one is the solo.




here are the lyrics so far:

Promise of deceit it is the truth you'll never find
Cast Away your anger, and open up your mind

Throw away the dagger that you shove inside your brain
Rob you of your soul, I'll make you lose at your own game

Look into the mirror and tell me what you see
You think you see a white line but it's really only me

Stealing thunder, blacking light, you thought you had a chance
Take another, get your fix, your stuck inside my trance

Deception!!!
Only Lies
Deception!!!
Hypnotize

It is the Promise of Deceit
It is killing the elite
It is the Promise of Deceit
And now it's you it will defeat

Taking life and stealing dreams it rapes you of your thoughts
Deprive you of your future and lessons to be taught

The day is over, night is young, the stories growing old
Without your mask you can't go on 'cause life it just too cold

Times are desperate so's your need it's time to say goodbye
Torn away by evil, you get that one last high

You made the choice it wasn't right it's time to pay the price
If you can still hear me, it's time to roll the dice

Deception!!!
Only Lies
Deception!!!
How I despise

It is the Promise of Deceit
It is Killing all the weak
It is the Promise of Deceit
And now it's too late to retreat

(A third verse will go here but it hasn't been written yet)

Deception!!!
It's what I do
Deception!!!
I'm Killing you

It is the Promise Of Deceit and it's me telling the lie
It is the Promise of Deceit and now it's time to diiiieeee!!!!!

It is the Promise of Deceit!!!
​

 

It has possibilities. I'm not exactly qualified to criticize but as part of a more varied piece I think that snippet would be very good.

 

I think a good set of rhythm horns coming in after that would go well. Overall its a good start

 

not my style of music. But actually not bad

 

Okay I put the main riff into it but I'm too burnt out to record anymore. The recording process is such a hassle, nothing can be screwed up one tiny little bit.

I've started writing the lyrics though. I didn't plan on this happening but the song has turned into a song about Cocaine. Or atleast how coke made me feel when it was all gone.



Promise of deceit it is the truth you'll never find
Cast away your anger and open up your mind

Throw away the dagger that you shove inside your brain
Rob you of your soul, I'll make you lose at your own game

Look into the mirror can you tell me what you see?
You think you see an angel but it's really only me

I'm a master of disguise I hide within your dreams
Now it's either life or death, it's time to choose your team.

That's all I have for lyrics right now, I think they sound pretty fuckin' cool. As I was lying in bed writing I would get chills when I'd sing it along with the song.

By the way the singing is going to go with the fast part. (the part that wasn't in there before)


http://media.putfile.com/Promise-Of-Deceit-2

 

i like those lyrics a lot

 

Pretty decent lyrics there.

 

Damn you better get famous and do a tour of ontario.... Work on it

 

I just recorded myself diddling around on the guitar mad baked. Its pretty rough but its something lol.
http://www.wikiupload.com/download_page.php?id=98048

 

cant you guise just upload it to youtube or something... fuck downloads and dead links

 

the playlist format is not recognized

 

Here it is on youtube now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0klKQ1DRh4

 

whats the site your using for the percussion?

 

http://www.geocities.com/pyros_82/pdrums.htm This site.

It's really low tech but the drums sound decent, I might switch to something else though.

 

pretty good. i like the gittarr part in the beginning. very black sabbath-ish. creepy dead body in the tub by the way.

 

I wrote a solo, it's uploading on youtube as I type. I'll post it when it's done.

 

Here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M74au8DhJIg

This is the first solo I've ever made. I think it's pretty good though.

 

Honest OPININION:

The drums ( i know its a keyboard prog) are awful.

The whole riff doesnt really interest me, there was a time in my life when i was into thrashy sound, but now im far from it. I am not judging your ability as a guitar player, because i dont think im in a position to, but the style feels very plain and pointless. The solo i would say the same for... not really feeling anything.

But im sure theres people who will digg it.

 

Okay, fair enough Thrash isn't for everyone.

But musically do you think it is good? Like do you think the actual solo is a "good" solo? Not do you like it, but would you consider it something that takes skill to do.

 

Yeah, i think it does take quete some skill to to pull that off. But skill is something you can create, and build on overtime, so i guess it can be said anyone can play guitar well overtime... But to play music well, i think it takes more. Maybe im being overly critical, i tend to do that both to myself and others.

I think you do have something cool going there with the skill, and youre still young as fuck, so its deffo something you should stick with and improve on, maybe eventually you will play something that can be widely considered a masterpiece.