My Musical Masterpieces

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by Captain Cannabis, Feb 13, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hmm... lately I've been writing a lot of material but I only have a couple people I can show the music to.... Well I could ask more people but when would I have the opportunity?

    So I thought about it and I thought it would be cool if I could make a thread were I could post some riffs and shit for some constructive criticism. I'll post like a couple riffs a week I guess, it all depends on how good the week goes musically. Although I'll probably forget about this thread sometime I just want to get some stuff heard so I can have an honest opinion.

    I just wrote this about an hour ago, the song itself is done but still needs to be recorded in full. The drums are a program that allows you to play on your keyboard and it's fun as hell to just sit there and mess around on.

    This one's working title is: Promise Of Deciet

    I'll probably put some more up tonight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0klKQ1DRh4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M74au8DhJIg

    The second one is the solo.




    here are the lyrics so far:

    Promise of deceit it is the truth you'll never find
    Cast Away your anger, and open up your mind

    Throw away the dagger that you shove inside your brain
    Rob you of your soul, I'll make you lose at your own game

    Look into the mirror and tell me what you see
    You think you see a white line but it's really only me

    Stealing thunder, blacking light, you thought you had a chance
    Take another, get your fix, your stuck inside my trance

    Deception!!!
    Only Lies
    Deception!!!
    Hypnotize

    It is the Promise of Deceit
    It is killing the elite
    It is the Promise of Deceit
    And now it's you it will defeat

    Taking life and stealing dreams it rapes you of your thoughts
    Deprive you of your future and lessons to be taught

    The day is over, night is young, the stories growing old
    Without your mask you can't go on 'cause life it just too cold

    Times are desperate so's your need it's time to say goodbye
    Torn away by evil, you get that one last high

    You made the choice it wasn't right it's time to pay the price
    If you can still hear me, it's time to roll the dice

    Deception!!!
    Only Lies
    Deception!!!
    How I despise

    It is the Promise of Deceit
    It is Killing all the weak
    It is the Promise of Deceit
    And now it's too late to retreat

    (A third verse will go here but it hasn't been written yet)

    Deception!!!
    It's what I do
    Deception!!!
    I'm Killing you

    It is the Promise Of Deceit and it's me telling the lie
    It is the Promise of Deceit and now it's time to diiiieeee!!!!!

    It is the Promise of Deceit!!!
     
  2. stinkfoot

    stinkfoot truth

    It has possibilities. I'm not exactly qualified to criticize but as part of a more varied piece I think that snippet would be very good.
     
  3. skierdood

    skierdood Space For Rent

    I think a good set of rhythm horns coming in after that would go well. Overall its a good start
     
  4. killswitchjd

    killswitchjd Senior Member

    not my style of music. But actually not bad
     
  5. Okay I put the main riff into it but I'm too burnt out to record anymore. The recording process is such a hassle, nothing can be screwed up one tiny little bit.

    I've started writing the lyrics though. I didn't plan on this happening but the song has turned into a song about Cocaine. Or atleast how coke made me feel when it was all gone.



    Promise of deceit it is the truth you'll never find
    Cast away your anger and open up your mind

    Throw away the dagger that you shove inside your brain
    Rob you of your soul, I'll make you lose at your own game

    Look into the mirror can you tell me what you see?
    You think you see an angel but it's really only me

    I'm a master of disguise I hide within your dreams
    Now it's either life or death, it's time to choose your team.

    That's all I have for lyrics right now, I think they sound pretty fuckin' cool. As I was lying in bed writing I would get chills when I'd sing it along with the song.

    By the way the singing is going to go with the fast part. (the part that wasn't in there before)


    http://media.putfile.com/Promise-Of-Deceit-2
     
  6. lucjl volcin

    lucjl volcin Senior Member

    i like those lyrics a lot
     
  7. stinkfoot

    stinkfoot truth

    Pretty decent lyrics there.
     
  8. thisisme5

    thisisme5 Herbal enthusiast

    Damn you better get famous and do a tour of ontario.... Work on it
     
  9. skierdood

    skierdood Space For Rent

  10. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

    cant you guise just upload it to youtube or something... fuck downloads and dead links
     
  11. Deranged

    Deranged Senor Member

    the playlist format is not recognized
     
  12. Subliminal89

    Subliminal89 A Tokémon Master

    whats the site your using for the percussion?
     
  13. Deranged

    Deranged Senor Member

    pretty good. i like the gittarr part in the beginning. very black sabbath-ish. creepy dead body in the tub by the way.
     
  14. I wrote a solo, it's uploading on youtube as I type. I'll post it when it's done.
     
  15. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

    Honest OPININION:

    The drums ( i know its a keyboard prog) are awful.

    The whole riff doesnt really interest me, there was a time in my life when i was into thrashy sound, but now im far from it. I am not judging your ability as a guitar player, because i dont think im in a position to, but the style feels very plain and pointless. The solo i would say the same for... not really feeling anything.

    But im sure theres people who will digg it.
     
  16. Okay, fair enough Thrash isn't for everyone.

    But musically do you think it is good? Like do you think the actual solo is a "good" solo? Not do you like it, but would you consider it something that takes skill to do.
     
  17. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

    Yeah, i think it does take quete some skill to to pull that off. But skill is something you can create, and build on overtime, so i guess it can be said anyone can play guitar well overtime... But to play music well, i think it takes more. Maybe im being overly critical, i tend to do that both to myself and others.

    I think you do have something cool going there with the skill, and youre still young as fuck, so its deffo something you should stick with and improve on, maybe eventually you will play something that can be widely considered a masterpiece.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page


  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice