This all happened during the long, hot summer of 1976. I’d have been 8-years-old at the time. I had a friend called Dean, who was a year younger than me. He and his family used to live in the same road as us but had moved away a year or so earlier, albeit only to a neighbouring village. His Mum, Pam, often brought him over to visit, particularly during school holidays. I knew Pam was very strict and sometimes spanked Dean on his bare bottom. That’s not what this story is about (the forum has strict rules governing those sorts of postings!) and I include it here only for context. One weekday, during that summer, Pam and Dean visited us for the morning. As we waited for their arrival, my Mum (Margaret) seemed strangely agitated and I got the distinct impression that she wished they weren’t coming. Anyway, they duly arrived and our Mums hugged and kissed each other as usual. All seemed well. Pam then suggested that I and Dean go and play football in the back garden while she and my Mum had a chat. I think we had a kick-about for twenty minutes or so and then Dean announced that he was hot and wanted a drink. I agreed and offered to go inside and get us one. But as I reached the backdoor, I heard raised voices. For a moment I thought it was the couple next door but then I realised it was coming from inside my house. It was my Mum and Pam, arguing! Actually, it was more my Mum doing the shouting. She’s always been a bit short-tempered, bless her, and used to shout at my Dad, often getting quite hysterical in the process. I’ve no idea what she was shrieking about but I suddenly heard Pam’s voice above the din: “Don’t be silly, Margaret!” There was more shouting and then, “Margaret, don’t…DON’T be silly!” Pam’s patience must have snapped because it was followed by, “Margaret, if you’re going to be silly about it, I’ll smack your bare bottom.” I was stunned and sure I must have misheard. But then it came again. “I mean it, Margaret! If you’re going to be silly about it, I’ll take you upstairs to the bedroom and smack your bare bottom!” I stood rooted to the spot in the doorway and wondered what to do! Should I go in or leave? Mum was still extremely agitated. “These silly goes have got to stop!” said Pam loudly. “Anymore nonsense, ANY AT ALL, and I’ll bare your bottom. I’m not joking, Margaret. I’ll take you upstairs and bare your bottom!” At that point, I decided to beat a hasty retreat and went back into the garden. Dean seemed a bit miffed that I hadn’t brought a drink for him, but I just said, “I think we’ll have to wait; our Mums are busy with something at the moment”, which wasn’t really a lie, was it? A little bit later they joined us in the garden, sitting at the patio table with a tray of drinks – and everything seemed fine between them (at least on the surface). In fact, when Pam and Dean went home just before lunchtime, out two Mums kissed and hugged each other! I never mentioned what I’d heard to Dean – at least, not at the time – nor my mother. But the more I thought about it, the more exciting it seemed: My Mum (potentially) smacked… on her bare bottom! Was Pam being serious? It certainly sounded like it! And what were they arguing about in the first place? As I later discovered, this was not the first, or last, row our Mums had – but more of that another time.
I agree that this is very interesting! Pam sounds quite a dominant and, possibly, controlling character. Was she really serious about smacking Margaret’s bare bottom? It definitely sounds like it, although the mere threat of cp might have been effective in calming down a hysterical woman. Of course, if one makes such a threat, one should always be prepared to go through with it…I don’t blame you for beating a hasty retreat but it would’ve been good to have known what happened next! As you say, it would also have been useful to know what Pam and Margaret were quarrelling about in the first place. Girls can be quite bitchy (believe me I should know!) but it’s unusual for two grown women – especially close friends – to row (unless they’re housemates or something); okay, maybe once, but not on a semi-regular basis! To argue so often strikes me as odd and a little bit unhealthy. You mention that your mum seemed “strangely agitated” before Pam and Dean arrived. This suggests that she was already anticipating another row! Anyway, thanks for sharing. I, for one, would love to hear more!
Thanks for your reply, Gym_Girl! Yes, Pam was a dominant character but I hadn't really considered her to be controlling. I think you may be right. I remember that a year or so later, Pam and my Mum went away for a weekend - just the two of them - with, I should say, my Dad and Pam's husband's full blessing. While my Mum was packing, someone asked her if she was looking forward to this little mini-break and she replied, "No, not really." When pushed, she said that she'd been "pressured" into it. I will write some more when I have a bit more time.
Revisiting all this after nearly half a century has triggered some other memories, long forgotten. I remember coming home from school one afternoon (it was probably 1977 or 1978 – I can’t recall exactly when but I was obviously still at primary school) and my Mum asked me if I’d had a good day etc. She seemed fine and, after changing, went and played in the garden until tea. Our next-door neighbour, Brenda, poked her head over the fence. “Hello, David,” she said. “Is your Mum all right?” “Yes, I think so,” I replied. “Why?” “Well, there seemed to be a lot of shouting earlier.” I explained that I’d only just got in from school. “Oh, yes, of course,” she said. “This was around lunchtime. I’d just come out into the garden to get my washing in and there was a terrible row going on at your house. It sounded like your Mum and another woman. Is it that Pam who comes to visit? I was actually getting worried but then it suddenly stopped.” “I have heard them arguing before,” I confessed, “but I don’t know why.” Brenda looked concerned but said something like, “Perhaps just a misunderstanding between friends, then. It did sound quite serious though.” I didn’t mention anything to my Mum. I kept my silence and – I presume – Brenda did too!
I don't think that's the case. According to the Collins online dictionary, "If you are submissive, you obey someone without arguing." From what David says, that's exactly NOT what his mother was like! It may well be that Pam was a controlling character but Margaret obviously put up a stout defence, shouting and carrying on. Whether that actually worked or not is a moot point! A bit worrying if the neighbour (Brenda) also heard all this screaming and shouting.
Some additional thoughts: Although I accept that Margaret was argumentative and liable to fly off the handle at the smallest thing, there must have been something happening between Pam and your mum to provoke these outbursts. It was definitely not a healthy relationship. I can't imagine having a blazing row with any of my close friends on ONE occasion let alone multiple times! If that's the case then I would suggest such people are not really your close friends at all!
Interestingly, Dean had also picked up on the volatility between my Mum and his. “Have you noticed that our mums seem to argue a lot?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied. “But I don’t know why, do you?” “No,” Dean admitted, “but I heard my parents talking last night and my Mum said that she loved your Mum to bits but that all the shouting and silly goes were getting her down. ‘If there’s any more nonsense,’ she said, ‘I’m going to give her a good spanking!’” We both laughed at that. “What did your Dad say?” I asked. “He said, ‘I don’t blame you,’” Dean replied. “He said, ‘I certainly wouldn’t put up with any of her silly goes. If she tried it on with me, I’d put my belt across her backside!’” I wasn’t sure if his Dad was serious but Dean seemed to think so!
It's possible that they were having a lesbian affair or maybe Pam was pressurizing my Mum into sleeping with her. In my very first post, I mentioned that my Mum seemed strangely agitated before Pam and Dean arrived. Could it be that she was expecting Pam to make some sexual demands of her? Of course, we might be reading too much into all this but it's a very plausible explanation. I've just remembered that Dean once told me that he saw our two Mums sat on the sofa together at his house, laughing and giggling over a magazine. He thought it was a "rude" one because there was a woman with a bare bottom on the cover! This sounds like PLAYBOY or, more likely, MAYFAIR (the leading UK men's magazine of the period). I know my Dad had a stack of the things in his wardrobe because I discovered them some years later when I was a teenager!
