My mum burnt her bras, now she has chronic back pain and tits like wind socks.

Discussion in 'Feel Good Feminism' started by RivetedBliss68, Apr 19, 2013.

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  1. Not that I take notice of her boobs. But she complains about them all the times.

    I come from a family of 6. All of us breastfed. I was my mother's favorite and was breastfed 'til I was 19 (by this stage I was a father myself) the oldest of our siblings is Jimmy (32) we don't see him as often but sometimes he comes around for a feed. Cow's milk never did it for me and my mom really can't say no to anyone, let alone her thirsty child. It was when I started bringing my friends around that this became an oddity.

    I walked in through the front door one afternoon to the sight of a bowl of muesli tower over by a uncovered tit. It was my mother. She proclaimed that I was home early and that she only had enough for one serve. Luckily I had a few reserves in the fridge, including some that I had whipped up with some lemon into a Bombe Alaska. My wife had a soft spot for the taste of mothers milk also and often we'd use it as an aphrodisiac in the bedroom. I'd drip it onto her face while pouring candle wax onto her.

    There's nothing this milk couldn't do. I even made coffee for our guests with it.

    I didn't realise it was a taboo to rip her shirt off and go to town with my friends in the room. The PS3 suddenly enthralled them less.

    Little Johnny Titmouth I became known as from that day on. The worst thing is that my friends saw healthy and acne-free my skin was and put it down to the milk. I saw a business opportunity. 5 dollars per shot. I swear the local pub felt threatened as half their clientele was now in my loungeroom parked over my mother.

    My wife is unable to produce milk so we had a milk transfusion done (pioneer procedure performed by a highly controversial lactose-surgeon). Now I have 4 boobs to choose from. My life is great.

    Anyway a life of having her tits in mouths and no bra has led her to back pain and tits like wind socks. In the end I practically had to lie on the floor while she stood up to get any. Sometimes she missed and slapped me in the mouth but It's ok. I was patient. But beware.. this no bra thing can be a curse for the mother, blessing for the child/daughter in law (my wife at least). Brb.. getting thirsty and nibbly.. gonna hit up the reserves.
     
  2. r0llinstoned

    r0llinstoned Gute Nacht, süßer Prinz

  3. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

    Lmao. I really enjoy it when a troll actually puts forth some effort. Little Johnny Titmouth could have said he fucks his mom and left it at that like the other trolls but he really spent some creative energy here. Bravo.
     
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