My least favorite part of a relationship..

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by PoisonedPenny, May 3, 2007.

  1. PoisonedPenny

    PoisonedPenny Member

    So I'm seeing this guy. And he's freaking awesome. I could go on for a good long while about him. However, it's not necessary for this post. Anyway, we've gone out on a few dates. He's stayed at my place twice. We've both flat out said "I like you." (We're nerds like that, it's awesome.) Now it's that akward time where we're meeting eachother's friends and I'm like "This is my uhh... friend... Jack." (Not his name.) And he's like "Kristin. Guys. Guys. Kristin."

    Ugh. It's like why won't you just call me your girlfriend. I know I'm only interested in him, and he's only interested in me. And we're calling eachother and hanging out on a now regular basis. I just don't get it.

    I hate titles, but damn they're awfully convenient when making introductions. Oh yeah, and when people go "Kristin's got a new boyfriend! Kristin's got a new boyfriend!" And I have to be like "Wellllll, not technically..."

    I just hate having that whole conversation. It's hard enough doing the "So do you wanna maybe do something this weekend?" Now it's the: "So, do you uh like uh wanna be like my boyfriend?" I mean, sersiously. I hate this. I never know what to say.

    What do you people do? There should be some sort of form letter or something...
     
  2. His Eden

    His Eden Queen of Mean

    I remember having the same problem. It seems like as I got older it seemed less important to put a "title" before a name. When I introduce my husband to people I rarely say "and this is my husband _____" but most people know I am married (or can figure it out quickly because my husband and I wear matching rings.)

    As far as what to do, I have no real suggestions. You could ask the guy if he wants to move to the next level in your relationship. Or, you could just accept things the way that they are and not worry about titles. Most people that matter to you will know the status of your relationship anyway.

    Not only should there be a form letter for dating, but an instruction manual that clearly explains the expectations, mood swings, and so on of a potential partner. (In order to be perfect there would also have to be a return policy clearly outlined) ;)
     
  3. PoisonedPenny

    PoisonedPenny Member

    Yeah... "Next level in our relationship..." Right. I would sound like a reality tv show. Should I give him a rose too? lol. I'm not laughing at you. Just the phrase.

    I do like the idea of an instruction manual though. Give a list pet peeves, turn ons, ways to butter us up etc. It would save a lot of people a lot of problems.. Have a little trouble shooting area: "If Kristin can't find anything to wear and somehow this has become your problem turn to page 312 for possible soloutions."
     
  4. Haid

    Haid Member

    When I introduce my wife I just use her name. Don't worry so much about the group validating your relationship. Just let it develop.
     
  5. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    HAHAAAAAA I love that!
     
  6. PoisonedPenny

    PoisonedPenny Member

    See, ever since this one thing, it kinda needs to be validated in my group...

    This one dude, he was seeing this chick, and she ended up moving in and getting pregnant with his kid and everything. And then it somehow got around that someone asked how long they had been together and he had responded "Well, we never said we were officially together..." So the group then teased them mercifully for not being together even after she had moved in.

    But that's kinda a whole seperate deal too, and not the reason why it's kinda obnoxious. It's different when it's a spouse. You guys have rings to signify that anyway. When it's a boyfriend/girlfriend/new thing it's kinda akward. You show up and you're like "Okay so this is Jack." And the old friend is like "Okaaay.." Like is this a new roomate/friend/possible bassist for my band/boyfriend/cute guy for me to be interested in?
     
  7. PoisonedPenny

    PoisonedPenny Member

    Bella - I would be so nice about it too. I'd be like try one or more of any standard lines 1-10

    1- You look good in anything you wear sweetie.
    2- You always look good in ___(color)____.
    3- Just wear what makes YOU feel good honey.
    (...)

    Worst case scenario (Kristin is yelling/crying) Come up out of pocket and say "Honey, let's go buy you something that'll make you happy."
     
  8. BelgianPea

    BelgianPea Member

    yeah i get what you're saying. but i'm sure its just as akward for him, you both kinda need to find your way in it probably. it's one of those things time will solve most of the times.

    the second poster (sorry forgot the name oops) said something about titles not being important anyways, true in a way but i gotta say. i just got married last month and i feel all gitty and happy when corey introduces me as his wife. it feels amazing. and i feel great telling people he's my husband. makes me feel so proud to be "his" . it makes me personally feel even closer to him, like we're a team. :)
     
  9. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

    just ask him . i would need to know. i hate sidestepping around relationship issues/ just tell him that you don't want to be mislead,easy as that.good luck
     
  10. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    hahaaaaaa you rock.
     
  11. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

    Okay, if it's really botherig you and you need a label why not just introduce him as your boyfriend? If he really likes you he'll be flattered.
     

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