My Kindergarten Days

I remember the most significant thing that happened in kindergarten. It's when Bart and I met our good friend Giovanni.
It was the first day. We went around the class to introduce ourselves and something about ourselves. Bart and I revealed that I played violin, and he played cello, and we both had our bows with us. Well, it got around to this one kid who was too shy to even speak. That was a red flag to me, this kid was probably going to need help making friends. He would go and sit alone by the fence at recess, and it did seem to bother him. Bart and I always went and just kind of hung around somewhere close to him, hoping he'd muster up the courage to come talk to us, and we'd make it easier for him to make friends. No such luck for the entire first week. But we did find out his name when the teacher went to talk to him. We found out his name was Giovanni.
The next week rolled around, and we were in our usual place, but then this group of older kids playing kickball, their ball rolled over to him. They were the school bullies. The leader, who had the worst name I've ever heard, Dudley Snard, said "Hey, twerp, give us back our ball." Giovanni said very shyly, "Uhhhhhh.....could I.........maybe join you?" At which moment, they all started laughing at him, making fun of his big feet (and he did have big feet. Five years old and already size six in MEN'S. He still does have really big feet. He's now a size 16, and is 5'8") and him being really short, his big nose, and funny walk. He was about to cry, we were going to go to him, but the bell rang, damn it. He stifled his emotions, and went on with the day. Every recess, those bullies would go to him and verbally harass him. For four days, this went on, three times a day. Until one day, Giovanni was telling them to leave him alone, but when he said go away, that made them mad. Dudley pinned Giovanni's head to the ground, punched him in the face,while the other four kicked him in all sorts of places, and tied his hands together behind his back. From a distance, we could hear his screams of pain as we watched in shock, and when he yelled for help, Dudley said shut up and punched him again. That's when we decided enough was enough. So he yelled for help again, and just as Dudley was about to say, "I said SHUT UP!" And punch him again, Bart grabbed Dudley's arm and twisted it. So what he ended up saying was, "I said, OWWWWWWWWWW!" Bart said stop or he'd twist harder. They didn't stop, so he twisted harder, until Dudley called them off. That's when I pointed my bow at them and said, "Back away from the boy!" They obeyed. As Bart shouted at them, I got down on my knees to comfort the poor boy. When I got down, he said in a very scared way, "Oh no, no please don't hurt me!" He must have been really scared if he thought such a gentle person like me would hurt him, especially when he'd already taken quite a beating. Anyway, I said, "Oh, you poor kid." So I got him off the ground and, much like a father would do, let him lean on my shoulder. In a way, kind of a hug to calm him down. As I got him off the ground, he was saying, "Oh no, no, please no!" Thinking I meant harm, which I meant the exact opposite of. So I just said, "Shhhhhhhhh. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." When Bart was finished shouting, I shouted at them next. Dudley said, "You can't stop us." I said, "maybe not. But he can." So I pointed up, and they looked up to find the principal looming over them, very angry. He took them all into his office, while we stayed outside and examined Giovanni's wounds. To do so, we had to lift his shirt. So after that, he said, "Oh, p-p-please, please d-d-don't p-pull my p-pants d-d-down!" Which we didn't. I told him there was no reason for me to. Anyway, so we laid him down in the ground very gently, and got him some wet cloths (not clothes, cloths) to put on his eye and to clean up the blood. His mom then came, and I said, "Back away from the boy, lady." She was about to say something, so I said, "I said back away!" "I'm the boy's mother." "Oh." Giovanni then told his mom he didn't want to come to school anymore. His mom said that wasn't an option. So I pitched the idea that he could hang around us, and we'd keep him safe. His mom said, "it's a good offer, honey." "It's all up to you, Giovanni." "Wait, you know my name?" "Yes." "Wow, the two coolest kids in our class know my name." "Wait, we're the coolest? When did that happen?" "On the first day, when you told everyone you're musicians." So Giovanni accepted my offer, and went home. Bart said, "Do you think he took us seriously?" I answered, "No, I don't. I think we're going to have to remind him tomorrow." Which we did. I caught him by the back of his collar, and said, "Where do you think you're going?" He started to panic and beg for mercy, but I said, "I told you to find us at recess, and we'd keep the bullies away." That relieved him to know it was us. And from there on, we kept him safe. Except a few instances.
First one, he somehow got separated from us, and the bullies found him. When we noticed he wasn't with us, we thought, "Uh-oh." And rushed outside, and found the bullies had taken his shirt, and were making him jump for it, and then they said, "Oh wait, you're too short" that's when I snuck up behind, snatched the shirt, and said, "But I'm not. Oh, did you forget about us? Here, Giovanni, put your shirt on and go inside. Now I'm warning you, stay away from Giovanni. As long as we're around, you'll never win. May as well give up now."
Second time was much worse. They found him first, and the tallest one hung him by his shirt on the tetherball pole, and we watched from a distance, waiting for the right time to stop them. So, there he was, hanging off the tetherball pole, and then Dudley took his pants, which took the next layer as well, and they'd already taken his sandals, so he was hanging almost naked off the pole. That's when I got Dudley in a headlock, and demanded he give the pants back. Instead, he ripped them in half. So I squeezed tighter, and said, "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID TO DO!" So the principal came out and said, "Okay, what's going.......where are his pants?" I replied, "Ask the fat one (Dudley). He's holding ripped pants." The principal told them all to go with him, and as they were leaving, one of them sliced open Giovanni's shirt, and he fell out of it and face-down on the ground, stark naked. So Bart and I went to see if he was okay, he was, then I said, "Do yourself a favor and cover up down there." He did, and Bart said, "Giovanni, you know your butt is still showing, right?" Giovanni whimpered, and said, "Help me!" So I gave him my coat, which was a longer coat, and he was shorter than me, so it worked. Then his mom came, so we explained what happened. I let him keep the coat until he got some clothes. He lived on the same street as Bart and me. So he could easily return my coat.
Third time was even worse. Giovanni and I were on the playground, and Bart was inside to pee. Dudley came and pushed us off the playground. Luckily I landed first, and broke Giovanni's fall. He sat up and said, "I'M ALIVE!" I said, "Yeah, good for you. Now get your butt off my back, if you please." So he did, I got up, dusted myself off, and we looked up to see Dudley looking very pleased with himself. Now apparently Bart saw what happened, so he came and pushed Dudley off the playground, and his Dudley's enormous amount of fat saved him from injury. So once again, we won.
Fourth time was the worst. Dudley came and pushed Giovanni off the playground, but I wasn't there to break Giovanni's fall. I tried to position myself to do so, but damn it, I was an inch off. I remember saying, "GIOVANNI! I got him, I got him! I don't got him!" The fall broke both his arms and both legs, injured his spine, and gave him a concussion. Dudley thought he finally got revenge, but it turned out Bart finished peeing in time to see this happen, so he pushed Dudley and his lot off, and they all landed on Dudley. Once again, his fat saved him from injury. Damn it. So Giovanni had to go to the hospital and stay a couple months while his bones healed. We were with him the whole time he was there, we even went with him in the ambulance. As soon as we were allowed in to visit, we ran as fast as we could. He was awake by the time we got in, which was helpful because he saw us be stupid, and that made him laugh. So we both had sodas, and we went to sit down, but I missed my chair, and splashed myself. Bart said, HA! Loser." That's when he took a drink, and sat down, but his chair tipped over,and his soda spilled all over him. So I said, "Haha, who's the loser now?" He sat up, and said, "Still you." Then we heard laughter, so we asked Giovanni what was so funny, and he said, "Y-you two are.........are so.......dumb! It's so funny!" After a few more similar incidences, his mom pulled us aside to tell us she wanted us to always be there, because we made him laugh, and that distracted him from the pain.
Now I don't have the patience to write out everything that we did that was dumb and funny, but one I remember is when I was feeding him because both arms were broken, and when he said he was done, I meant to dismount the side of the bed, but I fell off instead. The remainder of the food went all over me, and so did the water. Giovanni laughed so hard he couldn't breathe.

To this day, bullies piss me off so much. I get so mad every time I see bullying.

 

Kindergarten Cop was a good movie. underrated.

I always laugh when he's asking the children about the fathers;

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

My dads a gynaecologist And looks at vaginas all day long
Our mom says that our dad is real sex machine

... okay... thank you..

 

I don't remember that episode of the Simpsons

 

sounds remotely funny. But no, this was a bully- filled year for Giovanni.

 

the Simpsons? What are you talking about? This was our kindergarten year.

 

BTW, it is actually impossible for you or anyone to remember 5 years old in such detail

Synapses particularly with language don't work that way yet.

More likely it's it's a recurring dream you replayed, rewritten over a thousand times

 

The one where Bart plays the Cello

 

this is some of what we all remember. Me, Bart, Giovanni, our parents, those who were also around to witness, our teachers,and our parents. Now of course I probably didn't write exactly what we said, but just imagine it in five-year-old speak. So it's not just me remembering it.

 

Bart is my best friend who's like a brother to me, and his full name is Bartolomeo Lupinesco.

 

I can remember the names of all 20 kids in my kindergarten class.

 

HA, check and mate.

 

i remember in kindergarten one day i peed my pants while on a little wooden chair on a table that was in the corner of the room for some reason (i think maybe we sat at that table to listen to books on tape or something, but i don't really remember). i didn't tell anybody and they never figured me out, but as we were getting ready to leave at the end of the day the teacher's aid was putting the chairs away and announced "this chair smells wet." i figured i was caught for sure, but i wasn't.

that same teacher's aid is the one that wouldn't let me eat my grapes one day at lunch. she just kept saying "eat your sandwich" over and over and over. i wanted to eat my sandwich, i just wanted to eat my fucking grapes first.


and that's pretty much the extent of what i remember from kindergarten.

 

yeah, kindergarten. What a year.

 

Should You Really Be Posting Somebodys Full Name On Tha Interwebs.....???..Not Cool...



Cheers Glen.

 

My earliest memory is playing in my inflatable pool that had a matching beach ball when I was 4 and lived in England.

 

Also, I hope Giovanni grew out of being bullied and eventually decked one of those jackasses.

 

no, after causing his hospitalization, those faggots were expelled. Besides, we don't think violence would have solved that problem.

 

No, it isn't.

 

I remember a girl getting yelled at for taking her shoes off. She said she had blisters. The teacher didn't care.
Another kid was scribbling in black crayon on the carpet. I think he was on lsd.

 

Yeah, I think he's trying to make it sound like this didn't happen.