my girlfriend's infidelity and the aftermath

My girlfriend and I have been together for over four years. In June, I found out that she had cheated on me. She cheated on me while she was on tour with her gospel choir. It made me so mad. I was mad because before finding out, I had suspicion. One day while she was away, she called me up and said, "Would you be mad if someone else made me as happy as you make me?" I was like, "What?! What the hell are you talking about?!" Then, she just said it was nothing. Later, she came back home in which I told her I knew she was hiding something. So, she finally confessed it to me. She said she was vulnerable. It made me so mad because it was with a member of the group she's in. Since then, I've forgiven her. But, I don't know how to overcome it. For instance today, she was at her friend's house (who is a guy) from 9 A.M to 1 A.M. It makes me feel awkward because I never get to see her that long. Plus she's been seeing this guy like 5-7 times in the last week and a half. She says it's because they're studying together. I believe her. But, is she not for me? I love her, but she doesn't even let me do 1/2 of what she's doing. She gets mad if I go with any of my friends who are girls. Any advice? What should I tell her? Should I demand anything? Should I aly out rules?

 

Where the hell is this stuff coming from??

 

dude, not to worry you further, but are you sure you want to trust her so easily?

who the fuck studies all day and that many times a week?

honestly, I'd lose her and find someone that wouldn't do such a thing

 

She's told me everything. But most of it, I had to get it out of her. I know she's not studying all day. She's hangin out too. But, should I be able to trust her? Most of her friends are guys. Should I lay down the rules and the way I want it to be? Cuz I'm not the controlling type but, I don't wanna be the soft guy. And if I were to ever find out she did some shit like this again. I'd go crazy.

 

Realize, you cannot impose your standards on other people.
Accept the possibility that you may be hurt again.
She may not be the person you would like her to be,accept
this relationship as either good or bad for you.
You must decide if the good outweights the bad.

Good luck,

 

Why don't you talk and explain her how you feel? If she really cares for this relationship she should unrestand that you need her help right now to rebuild the trust again and to get things back on track. Four years is a long time, you shoud comunicate more.

 

id be suspicious that shes cheatin gon you again personally
especially with her trying to control who you see and such, but not letting you have a say in such things

 

Do not walk away- run.

I'm not saying that you can't be friends with you but I cannot imagine how deep trust can be built with her. At very least she's using two sets of rules in order to justify her own infidelity while wanting to curtail yours. She clearly does not trust you which is ironic because she's the one who has violated your trust.

Find yourself a female who will stick with you and respect you. She'll be well worth the wait, believe me.

 

if you like her, stay with her. but don't feel bad about sleeping with other women on the side. let the other women know you're involved with another woman, but not her.
then ask her "would you be mad if someone else made me as happy as you make me?"

 

I would suggest castration.

 

I saw some of the best advice I've seen in awhile in another thread on here, it basically said, it doesn't matter how much you care for or love the person, but how much you like them
if you aren't as happy as you could be (and you most obviously are not), it's prolly not worth it

 

I am starting to understand some of the female posts refering to men being ball less anymore. Come on, if you are buying this then you are not too bright.

 

if you had to drag it out of her once you will probably have to drag it out of her again.then when will it stop.......beware you are on a hippy forum and most of them will say """oh you should forgive and work on this and that"how long before she stops cheating and stops being evasive???do you really want to stick around and find out/?it's one thing to get hurt, you will probably get hurt a lot more times in your life, but she has already hurt you once so why set yourself to be hurt again by her????