My first poem :s

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by SlipInsideThisHouse, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. SlipInsideThisHouse

    SlipInsideThisHouse Member

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    This is the first poem I've ever made and I don't really like it that much but I enjoyed writing it. Every comment would be appreciated so I know what to try and improve next time. Thank you:) Oh and English isn't my mother tongue so let me know if I made any spelling errors.:D

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    The truth of summer told as howlin’ lies
    By silver-tongued poets and tortured souls at night
    Serenade the beauty in her flowerin’ eyes
    While filthy wine complicates the lover’s grace denied

    As drops of dew now sooth their minds
    The snow-covered silkscreen is fallin’ of the wall
    Despair and hope finally entwined
    Leave only passion crushed by the weight of fall

    So lonesome travellers now crawl aside
    For brief bliss leaves behind a wanderin’ burden
    Still, like the candle lit at dawn
    The innocence of spring remains uncertain
     
  2. yyyesiam2

    yyyesiam2 Senior Member

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    i think that if you enjoyed writing this, you should keep doing it. consider yourself lucky to be able to enjoy something so potentially powerful and healing.
     

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