My Ex is Obsessed/Fixated with Me

My Ex is Obsessed/Fixated with Me

Is is harrassment ?

We stopped dating 13 months ago. I had a 6 month relationship with somebody else right after that and he is still professing his love, adoration everywhere I go on the net. He is there talking to or about me in a very obsessive manner! Yesterday I said he wanted to marry This is the only place he hasnt foudn or follow me to. I have asked him several times to stop. He wont stop. Thank GOD he lives out of state from me. Does a person have any legal rights via for troubles on the internet with people like that ?

I have tried almost everything. I dont know what to do. I want to help him as a person or friend, but that seems to only enable him more. When I do try to cut him off he makes a scene and plays this victom role to get others attention who he KNOWS will come up against me becuase he gets them to feel sorry for him. It truly seems like a sickness. It comes across a little bit like a stalker. I know that he is unstable and that is why we no longer date. He stipped nakes and chased my son and myself around the house with a knife he kept holding to us. He then tried to stabb himself in front of me and my kid. We had to flee from my house and call police/ fire dept to get help. It is truly becoming a nightmare. My nerves are starting to fray and people are starting to see a desperate side to me that only a survivor could be made of becuase he wont stop approaching me in romantic ways. I admit we all may have had a tad of that in us after a break up, but for it to last 13 months later ? I think I am going to truly go mad. It is disrupting my business and personal relationships. HELP! What do I do..what are my rights if he doesnt stop ????

 

Mace works.

 

Restraining order. Save every bit of evidence you have -- print out webpages where he followed you to, print out emails, etc. Some of this may not be acceptable without some computer expert checking to make sure it is his IP posting the message and whatnot, but if you print the page they have a better chance of finding it and tracking him down. Every time he calls or visits, contact the police and fill out a report. I don't know how much evidence you need to get a restraining order, but once you do get one, he goes to jail when he violates it (if you have the strength to report him, at least).

Honestly, cut all ties. Tell him to fuck off and die. Explain the situation to your friends. If they support you, they are true friends. If they don't support you, they are not actual friends and you don't really want to be around people like that.

I had an ex like that a few years ago. It got to the point that he showed up at a coffee shop he knew I hung out at (after the break up he moved back to TX, this was in St. Louis, MO). The day he showed up was exactly one week before my birthday. He told me that if I didn't give him another chance by my birthday, he would kill himself on my birthday and I would be his murderer. I laughed at him, told him it would be a service to humanity (I had broken up with him when his threats of "putting his fist thru my face" got a little too serious, but before he actually tried it). I told him that I would feel no remorse, as I would not be the one pulling the trigger, running his car off the road, pouring the pills down his throat, whatever. This may sound harsh, but I recognized it for what it was -- an attempt to emotionally manipulate me. Needless to say, he didn't go thru with it, which I know because he tried to find out about me by contacting my dad a few years later...

He needs help that you can not give. If it is damaging to you to deal with him, then you have a responsiblity to yourself (not to mention to your son) to get far far away from him. You can not be his friend. You can not help him. By not cutting all ties in a swift clean stroke, you are only hurting him by letting him continue to obsess (not to say this is at all or in any part your fault, but I know that twisted feeling like you should be there for this person that you once cared about, even if it is difficult for you -- you don't have that obligation to him).

 

wow ... great responses .. thanks a million .. truly ... v nice ride as well ..I have to rush .. at a friends .. but I want to recapp on this ..

 

Exactly what dawn sky said. My story is similar, so I won't retell it, but I am saying from experience, for your safety, get a restraining order. Document the harrassment. It is not your responsibility to fix this nutjob and, in reality, you can't.


Some of your friends might not see you through this. That's their problem. Your real friends will. What you need to focus on now is the safety of you and your child.

Don't try to explain this to your ex, either. Have him served with the R.O. That will make it clear. Then report any harrassment. That will make it as clear as possible to this delusioned person that it's over.

Be safe.

 

Just chiming in to agree with the advice you've received thusfar.

Guys like that are just nutso, there's nothing you can do to help that wouldn't make the situation worse; i also know from experience! I lost friends too, i'm glad i did, cause they're not the type of people that are good to have around if they're that easily manipulated.

 

Don't facilitate the situation by trying to be his friend. It won't work. 13 months is an awfully long time. A restraining order or a personal protection order is definitely a good idea. Who knows what a nutjob like him could actually be capable of.

I had an ex that was like that...got to the point where he took his new gf's car and rammed it into the side of my truck. I was so scared of him because of past abuse I drove off. Freaky.

DO SOMETHING NOW SO IT DOESN'T GET WORSE!

 

When I get crazy psychos like that I change all my e-mails, all my screen names, everything. I delete my past basically.

 

Just more proof that these creeps can't take a hint...i'm married with three kids, and my ex just called me yesterday, wanting to get together *rolls eyes* Two months ago, he tried to get me to go to a rave with him. Helloooooo what planet is he from, anyway?

 

Cut ties with this guy. Ignore him completely. Anything else you do will just be encouraging him. Ignore him completely and totally like he doesnt exist in this world, and it is likely he will go away. I don't know how stubborn this guy is, so I dont know how long it will take him to get the picture, but any contact you have with him is going to just going to keep him going longer.

If you feel unsafe definitely try to get a restraining order as well. But consider that getting a restraining order could just start up all kinds of more trouble with him when he finds out. So only do it if you really feel you are already in danger (like if he threatens your saftey or you start seeing him around town or around your home) - anything else may cause you to be in more danger.