My drug problems...advice?

So, like many of you, I've found drugs, especially psychedelic drugs, to be psychologically and spiritually enlightening, and I've learned a lot from my experiences. But lately, its been seeming like it's been fucking up my life a lot.
Pretty much, I got wanting to try drugs in 2004 at 13, and read pretty much all of erowid. Nobody at my middle school did drugs, and I was the only one interested. So I got salvia from a headshop, had a good time with that, then tried to buy pot, and ended up getting busted at school for "conspiring to purchase an illegal substance" or some shit like that...so I didn't get to try it.
Then I became depressed, and went on to abuse more salvia, and codeine as well as I got some LSD from a guy at the headshop I got to know. So when I was 14, and homeschooled, I met two cool hippies, who became my friends, and we smoked a lot of grass, and also made our own opium. I found pot to be incredible, and totally changed my outlook on things. At this point my parents and brother found out about this. My brother is 12.
In grade 9, I met a dealer through another friend at another school, and being an idiot, about 3 or 4 times, I sent my brother to pick up mushrooms and acid from this guy. My brother got some weed out of it. I told him (being a hipocrit) not to try anything other than pot. He has ADHD, and being a risk taker, he made my friend who I was sharing the shooms with give him some. My friend is a really decent guy and didn't want to exclude my brother and gave him some. At this point, my parents caught my brother and I again getting high, but not the psychedelics.
Since then, my 12 year old brother has done coke, E, acid, and a variety of other drugs which he has bought. He's become pretty fucked up too, and started dealing to all the kids at his religous school, including fake drugs, so he can make money to buy more coke to do alone in his room. My mom found out about these issues with my brother and told me, because I had no idea.
Anyway, my parents dont want me or my brother to do drugs. (I'm 15), and I can handle psychedelics. My brother can't but I've already set a bad example. The incredible things I've experienced on psychedelics are something I can never forget, including strange visions of god, and an afterlife kind of force. I have no intention of stopping, except that I'm mentally unstable (depression and anxiety and other issues) but my antidepressants are working now, and I thought I might give it another try.
I'm totally conflicted. On one side, I know that they might be right, and that even though in most ways, I'm not fucked up, its probably better to stay "clean" (I hate that word in this context), and its probably better for my brother. My dad is pretty cool (he's a music teacher and he's written many cool, trippy fiction/poetry books, and my mom is a very well respected criminal lawyer in this city, with lots of experience with these issues.)
On the other hand, its something I need for my own life, and something that will greatly enhance my perspective of the world, and my insights. I don't have many hippie friends, and at this point, I'm not allowed out of the house because my mom doesn't trust me. I want to be able to do the things I do, because its important to me, but I don't know what to do.
Do you have any advice? Thanks.

Ryan

 

Live in the wilderness until your head is clear.


Don't take anything processed by man.

 

Should have just stuck to weed for a while.

It does kind of sound like a problem, though. Try going clean for a little while.

It's not a problem of dependence, or any crap like that (at least, for you), but from what I can gather, you need a little break. Try going a month and if the medicine is still workin', try again.

Seriously, talk to your brother though.

 

Your brother needs to be able to see you as a good role model. I know how cliche that sounds, but really.. he probably looks up to you more than you realize, and your actions could influence him quite a bit. Making some changes for yourself could really be helpful. And damn, twelve years old.. that calls for help.

As far as your own problems go.. the way I see it, you just need to learn to transpose all that you've learned from your psychadelic experiences into real life. Watch a sunset, stare at the clouds, walk in the sand, ponder the cosmos on a starry night... those experiences can be trips in themselves if you let them be.

Good luck in whatever you choose! And remember.. it's ALL choice.

 

Well, first of all, its been a month and a half since I took any substance, and almost tha

 

It's been a month and a half since I took any substance, and almost that long since I started taking my medication. I really have been feeling a lot differently about things. Last night, I went to the park near my house, and just lay on the grass, listening to some beautiful music, and it was incredible, just watching the stars and the patterns in the sky. I found that enlightening as well. Thanks for the advice.

 

I smoked pot three times when I was 10. At the age of 11 is when I started to get fucked on drugs (and still am), so I can feel a little bit of a relation to your brother.

 

I think you started your drug voyage a little early. I don't know you, you might have been ready, but few are at that age. Your brother on the other hand is not ready. You should talk to him and let him know that he's going down the wrong path. I mean pot is one thing, cocaine is a completly different story. 12 year olds should not be doing coke. That's only going to fuck up his life. You really should tell him that he needs to stop. Tell him that you care and that you're willing to get him help. Be supportive. Don't get me wrong, I love pot, I love acid and I love mushrooms. Those are potentialy harmless. That doesn't mean that you can't fuck up your life with them. Psychedelics like acid and shrooms don't do any physical damage to your body or mind, but it's all a mental game. If you take more than you can handle or if you have a bad trip, you could come out of it completely different. Timothy Leary said that an experienced psychedelic user will never have a bad trip. He was right, and of course he would know he ate acid over five hundred times. Anyway, I hope this helps you out some. Take it easy, brother.

 

Thanks, man. That helped. I feel that I wasn't ready for psychedelics before I did mushrooms at 14. When I did acid before that, I very much doubt I got much from it, and I think I would have been affected negatively if my dose had been much higher. My friends also seem to be ready, except for one really pretentious friend. I know that my brother does the opposite of what I tell him, and now that he's discovered drugs, I really have no idea how to tell him its bad, considering he does what he wants no matter how seriously I talk to him...but thanks.

Ryan

 

No problem man, I am here to help. I would also like to welcome you to forums seeing that you're new here. There's a lot of cool stuff to talk about with a lot of cool people. Have fun and take care.

 

thanks

 

damn man... I dont know what to say I personally think 12 is fucking way too young for that shit I dont even think pot is good if yer that young... wow... I was still into Poke'mon at 12.. sheesh... coke is bad kids

 

These posts have got me thinking about drugs and growing up. I'm a pretty regular cannabis smoker now (in college), but I never really smoked until very late in high school. Now, after talking to a lot of friends who smoked much earlier, I think a lot about how different things could have been if I had more exposure to drugs when I was younger.

I think, for myself, not doing drugs when I was younger pushed me more in the brainy/loner direction - I read constantly, spent a lot of time in the library, was not really involved with any parties or things like that, though I did have plenty of friends who I saw all the time, there was just a lot I didn't do.

I think that the best path might be somewhere in the middle. I think you need to preserve your innocence, as stupid as that might sound, to some degree when you are a child. You will draw off that experience for the rest of your life. And you have that rest of your life to do plenty of experimenting. On the other hand, I think some dabbling, and I'm really talking about weed here, is a good thing, and a good eye-opener. I just wouldn't overdo it. 15 is pretty young, but definitely getting older, and I think you should decide what you think is right.

I also have a younger brother, and I know how hard it can be to try to tell them what you think is right. I wish I had some good advice, but I guess I really don't; just try your best to be a good example. If you think your brother needs to be drug-free, do not do drugs around him. If you think he's getting into serious trouble with harder drugs, you need to step in.

Anyway, I'm sorry for this long post. I've been a reader of the forums for a while, but this thread inspired me to join and reply. I hope I could help.

 

Thanks man. I appreciate your advice.
My brother seems to be listening a bit more to me, or at least acting like he believes me and then hiding everything he does. I think he'll probably be okay. I'm pretty much a loner now too, and I've always been. I guess in middle school, I wanted to do drugs because it was kind of an alternate thing to do instead of go to stupid parties with straightedge kids in the gifted class I was in at school. But I don't know. I'm probably too young, and innocence would be a good thing, but at this point its too late for me or my brother to do that. I guess I really have to step in for my brother and set a decent example for my sister. Thanks guys.

 

Reveling in the lie that is enlightenment. Through drugs or no.

 

i'm glad that you were able to notice an issue. usually when we're young, everything is a good time, and you don't really see the risks. once you're older, you figure out what you've messed up, and you have harder stuff to deal with. you went up about 15 points in my book for seeing a problem with the drugs. that's quite hypocritical for many of us posting to say, cosidering we probably all do more than pot (am i right to assume??) but when you start to see a younger person following exactly what you're doing, it makes you check out the situation from what they're seeing. instead of them seeing you do the drugs, you're seeing him and seeing where it's bringing him. i'm glad you're fixing it though. keep trying you should be proud of yourself

 

This is gonna sound corny as it's a quote from a well known movie but it applies well to drugs also "with great power comes great responsiblility".

Mind altering drugs can be very benificial when taken with the right intent but as soon as you cross over the line of wanting to learn things to just doing drugs all the time to get fucked up then you've got a problem on your hands.

This may be a very general statement but most kids at the age your brothers at and even young teens start doing drugs solely for fun or to "fit in" and due to that fact they may develop severe drug addiction by the time their in there late teens because they're always looking for that new kick and that leads them into harder things like cocaine and meth.

I've found meditation to be quite mind opening and benificial and it's probably alot safer then just dosing on drugs all the time so maybe thats something to check into.

Peace and love man.

 

Advice?

Don't be a retard and do acid until you're "mentally unstable"
I haven't done acid in 3-4 years, and I still can't smoke alot of pot...I get flashbacks. I went through depression treatment at 17 as well.
Don't do that shit.

 

Alternative course of action: beat your bro in the face with yer fistages.

 

come on guys, seriously...dont be stupid, be supportive