My brother's getting married...

and before you congratulate me, please don't. Long story, so don't ask why not either.

His soon to be wife is trying to tell me that not only do I have no say in the type of suit I wear but she wants me to wear a pink hankerchief with it? Mind you there's no other color in the suits at all. Straight black and white.

I'm not fucking doing this. Any ideas on what's the best way to tell my brother that I'm not going to budge without making it seem personal?

 

Don't be an ass. It's one day that belongs to them. You just need to be there to smile and be happy.

 

i know you'll feel like you will, but i agree with tree-hugger on this one.

assuming its not like they picked out your clothes and nobody else's, you'll be fine.

even if you look dumb, its just for a few hours, and there will likely be others dressed identically to you and its not like people will look at you and think what a dumbass you are for choosing to wear it....

really, no matter how ugly it is i dont see it as a big deal. but then i dont know what it looks like, and i dont know if you will or will not be the only one dressed this way.

either way its just clothing, and it will be over soon.

most weddings have an open bar, right? so its not like its a total loss...

 

How do I put this in a way that doesn't sound bitter?

Every day belongs to her.

His fiance talks shit about my entire family. My mom loves her and she talks so bad about my mom. My dad has never met her and she talks bad about my dad. My brother barely comes to see any of us because she throws a fit about it.

I don't even think she's going to let my dad and I throw him a bachelor party without trying to call off the wedding or something.(I'm not kidding at all).

Open bar? Ha. I'll be shocked if there's dancing. She'll be too worried my brother will get drunk and dance with the wrong girl.

I'm not doing this. It's not a negotiable part of life. They're lucky I'm participating in the wedding. I just need help telling him that I wont wear the hankerchief.

 

Dude if she's being that cunty about it she's probably a **** in general. Who gives a fuck how he dresses. Marriage is a joke these days. I'd go in khakis and a pair of sandals. They'll probably be divorced in 6 months anyway.

I'm sorry for your brother's misfortune.

 

Wear the hankerchief until she starts to walk down the aisle then. But really why does one tiny piece of cloth matter so much?

 

She sounds like a feminist ****. That explains the pink scarves. Men are just little props for her. I would not let some cunty bitch emasculate me. Not for my brother. Not for my father. Not for a piece of tail. For nothing.

 

I can kind of understand where you are coming from here - my brother was engaged to an awful women who sounds much like your brothers fiance.

She has gone know - thank god!

I would say that if she is that bad, but your brother just cannot see it, then do what we eventually did and stop playing her game, stand strong and fight back....thats why she left!

 

well, i can't say i know the situation. if you absolutely refuse to play dress up for their wedding, then i can't say i could tell you how to say so without it sounding selfish or rude.

but it sounds like you want it to be about the handkerchief, when in fact its about the woman he wants to marry.

it sounds like you want it to not sound personal, but really it is.

i dont know though.

perhaps come down with a severe illness?

 

DUDE.

I JUST CAUGHT SOMETHING. Sorry I missed it before.

"His fiance talks shit about my entire family. My mom loves her and she talks so bad about my mom. My dad has never met her and she talks bad about my dad."

Dude I'm sorry but your brother is a right horrible wanker. If some **** insulted my family I'd boot her out the door so fast she wouldn't be able to remember if we had a goodbye fuck or not.

EDIT: Editted for grammatical errors. Wow, I type horrible when I'm pissed.

 

Problem solved. I said no until she got pissed and asked what colors I'd be ok with.

It's not about her personally or I'd not go to the wedding. I refuse to have the ONLY color on me be some pink rag. Fuck that shit. Solid black and white and pink rag....really? No fucking way. She should just be grateful that I don't object when given the opportunity. Not that my brother would listen. He'd just call me a piece of shit and finish his wedding mad. Tis why I'll attend and smile and pretend to be happy for him, despite the fact that this wedding is the end of what WAS left of my closeness with my brother.

 

Damn drama.

 

How can a man let a piece of pussy come between him and his own flesh and blood? I don't rightly understand that.

 

Subtle things. Very subtle things.

"Your dad hates me... he wants me to die or something" - Her way of creating in my brothers mind a bias my dad doesn't really have against her, but it helps her keep him clear of my dads advice on women.

"Your mom wont stop calling me today" - She has him sold that she loves my mom, so he doesn't think anything of this but annoyance.

"I don't like your brothers house. I'm not comfortable there" - She thinks I and my other siblings are going to get my brother in trouble every time he sees us. Even if we don't leave the house she talks shit and yells at him because he was with us.

She doesn't flat out call names or any of that shit. My brother WOULD put that bitch out in a heartbeat if she was that bold.

 

Well man, I don't mean to insult your brother, and as he's your kin you'd be in your rights to smack me in the mouth. But I can't lie to you, and I guess I didn't have the entire story right.

She's a manipulative ****. And your brother is being taken for a ride. The dynamic of the relationship is set up where she's the one who needs to be pleased and pacified. She realizes this and as such uses right sublte means, dropping suggestions and hints, so he'll do things to keep her happy. It's disgusting and horrible and I'm sorry that it's happening to your own blood.

I can't give you any advice, but if you were your brother posting I'd tell you to get the fuck away from her fast. She might have BPD or some dangerous mental disease. At any rate, she doesn't care about your family like she should, and probably doesn't even care about your brother, just herself and having her way.

I been through it before, first hand. My ex was the same way. That shit is hard to see through, but once you do, you can't miss it.

It's unfortunate it is.

 

"The dynamic of the relationship is set up where she's the one who needs to be pleased and pacified. She realizes this and as such uses right sublte means, dropping suggestions and hints, so he'll do things to keep her happy"

Exactly and she kisses up and acts just submissive enough to keep it going. Shit sucks. I wish I could tell him, but I'd just end up beating his ass after because he would take it up the ass.

 

Pink can be a very nice highlight with the contrast of black and white. Especially if you have light eyes. It'll make them sparkle.

Why are you done wrong by pink?

 

Great... so I suggest a nice little light or baby blue in the hankerchief and maybe ties to set off the pink. She now wants to argue with me over my idea.

I told her I don't care what she picks out, I wont wear a fucking pink hankerchief on a colorless suit. The next time I hear of this issue it's going to be my from my dad, I'm sure. I'm not fucking budging on this, at all. I really don't care. I don't even want to go, so they can get as mad as they want.

 

You are such an ass.

 

It just doesn't fit IMO. I dunno. Maybe it is personal and I can't see it. I just don't understand how I get asked, "What kind of suit did you get?" which implies option, and then get told, "You have to have a pink hanky. I'll get that though".

Seriously? Did that really happen?

I'm lost. And pissed. And tired.

I'll see you guys tomorrow.