my boyfriend wants to separate

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Schnuti, Jun 7, 2006.

  1. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    we had a quarrel today. i started it, i admit. now he sees no future. but i dont want to lose my love...
     
  2. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

    You should try asking your boyfriend what he is unhappy about, and how he feels.

    If you still have love for him, just try and show it, and show your affection and let him know that you will listen and understand.

    Also, ask him how he genuine feels about you, and ask him what he likes and dislikes, and tell him to be as honest as he can.

    Just get him to open up to you, and be sure that it is what he wants. It's no good staying with him if he has no love for you anymore, but I aint saying don't stay with him.

    If he no longer loves you anymore or has any feelings for you, then it would be best for the two of yas to separate.

    Hope that helps.
     
  3. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    thanx, i really try to be honest and open and i said i was sorry.
    the situation with us is rather difficult. we dont see each other too often, because we live in diffierent countries and have different cultures. i was going to come to him soon and if everything was fine i would stay with him. but now... i dont know perhaps i expect too much of him. perhaps i demand many things that he is unable to fulfill. i dont know. i think its not the case of not loving me, he is just fed up with our quarrels and wants peace. me too!!!
     
  4. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

    Well having too much time apart from each other can put a strain on your relationship.

    The two of yas can keep in touch by making daily phone calls to one another, and you can tell him how you are getting on, and he can tell you how he is getting on.

    If the two of yas spend too much time apart, then what good is that doing to your relationship. It's like it's virtually non-existent!!!

    Just discuss it with him as I said previously in my first reply, and don't expect a lot of him. You need to do your bit, and so does he.

    I mean it's give and take, and it's only fair.

    Hope my advice has helped.
     
  5. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    what if he says its enough, and he s not optimistic?? but will still love me... i am afraid that he will want to split up even if he still loved me.
     
  6. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

    As him why he is unhappy, and if he can't give you a good enough answer, and makes up a lame, unconvincing excuse, then just end the relationship.

    It can't be right if he is just being with you just for the sake of it, and not because he genuinely loves you.

    If it is at that stage, just tell him that seperating would be the best option and leave him.
     
  7. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    i know what he will say. he is unhappy because i dont accept him as he is, i try to change him. some things i thought as unforgivable, but i would concile now as it came to the final point. haha how childish i am!!
     
  8. chris_1661

    chris_1661 Member

    If he wont accept you for who you are, if you wont accept him for who he is, he then this relationship isn't going to work!!!


    Just end it, then the two of yas can get on with your own private lives - I mean after all, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say.

    I mean who knows? - You might meet a guy who genuinely loves you and is willing to accept YOU for who YOU are.

    In my opinion, he isn't worth going out with, and you are best just ending it.

    I have nothing more to say, and have given all the advice I could possibly give you, with regards to this issue.

    So now it's up to you to do what you want to do. I've given you my advice, and I don't want to waste anymore time repeating myself over and over again.

    HOPE THAT HELPS.
     
  9. Gypsy_girl

    Gypsy_girl Member

    I think if you two are to different and keep coming up against the same-old same old issues then perhaps it is time to move on, but if you feel you can resolve these things without compromising your values etc, then give him some time to calm down and contact him tomorrow and see if you can talk things through seriously and try making some changes.

    Good luck and hope that helps.
     
  10. daire

    daire Member

    oh! it also happened to me! honestly, it's very difficult to be in a long distance relationship... there are circumstances that both of you are lookin for but you cant do.... all i did those times was i just let him go... i was hurt and still love him today but i think my decision was right. if i can rewind those times that we were together, i will! but for now, im still waiting to reunite our past. i think destiny will reconcile to both of you
     
  11. daire

    daire Member

    oh! it also happened to me! honestly, it's very difficult to be in a long distance relationship... there are circumstances that both of you are lookin for but you cant do.... all i did those times was i just let him go... i was hurt and still love him today but i think my decision was right. if i can rewind those times that we were together, i will! but for now, im still waiting to reunite our past. i think destiny will be the last way to reconcile to both of you
     
  12. ilario

    ilario Member

    if a man wants to separate with a girl, let him be!he's not worth it!!
     
  13. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    well today he emailed me and told me that he was confused and needed more time to think it over. i am ready to do everything to fix the relationship.
     
  14. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    Sounds like me the first time I fell for someone.. and a few years after that too.

    Are you holding on because you're afraid of letting go, or do you REALLY see yourselves being together. After two long distance relationships, I have to tell you, it is NOT worth it unless you can plan being together in the very near future (it's not indefinate, the time apart). And I hope it didn't start off as an internet affair or long distance relationship. It only means one thing. You have no idea who the other person really is.
     
  15. Schnuti

    Schnuti Member

    no we met in real world)) so to say, but the circumstances are like that - that we cant see each other till i finish my studies. it's next monday so since then i am really planning to go to him. so wish me good luck!!
     
  16. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    BINGO! that's it in a nutshell. You can't expect him to change, and he shouldn't expect you to change. If there's any little thing you would want to be different about him, in the long term it will turn into a huge problem between you two.
     
  17. theblackrose

    theblackrose Member

    honey....i feel you. try to remain calm, tell him you love him if you do, and pray. i dont believe in god like other people who claim to KNOW there is one, but i am desperate and praying right now myself, i'll throw one in for you
     

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