my boyfriend wants a threesome .. need help

So let me sum this up.. my bf and I have been together a little over a year.. one night months ago we were talking about stuff we would like to do and he said have a threesome. I am totally against them. He said he would not have sex but having another girl in the pic for a night is something he always wanted to try. So he brought it up another time and I said maybe but the only reason I would consider it is for him. So the other night we were at a club (pretty drunk) and this girl kept dancing with me and my bf (the next day) tells me she was grabbing him when I was not looking. Anyway he wanted her to come home with us but it turned out she was with her husband and they left. That night he kept saying I should have called her.. wont let up. Long story short.. thankfully nothing happend this time.. but now I feel hurt and I am confused.. does he not love me like he says? Why does he need someone else? Am I not enough? I dont want to share him and I know I would be hurting myself if I agree to it? what do i do?

 

if your not interested be honnest with him & tell hum your not interested ..
be honnest about how you feel
i myself am in a relationship with 2 wonderful women (again..heehee) & it works fine because were all honnest with eachother & love & respect eachother and feel pretty much the same about most things
is this just a fantasy hes pushing on you? if its not something your into, wy would you do it just for him?

he should never be persistently we should do this we should call her
instead it should be discussed..should we? would you like to? do you like her?

talk to him be honnest how u feel
thats all i can tell you

 

he really wants it, you dont. you should tell him as much. be clear bout it, and honest. give reasons why (ie makes you uncomfortable, you get jealous, whatever). if you dont want it this badly, then doing it will probably fuck up the relationship permanently

 

You said "maybe". Then an opportunity arose and you didn't take it. Of course he's gonna be mad at you. You shouldn't have said "maybe". Don't be flakey like that. Don't be vague. Be upfront and honest. This is something I think a lot of women need to learn.

As for the "love" part: If he's willing to explore all aspects of his and your sexuality with you, then he must have the goal of a long-term relationship with you.

Wow dude! You are totally feminized. In another topic, a chick wants the dude to wait for marriage, and you're telling him to "respect her wishes and feelings and do what she wants for her" even though he wants to have sex. He should "do it for her", yet, now that a man wants a situation that the woman doesn't, you tell her "why do it for him?"

You're pretty lopsided there, buddy.

 

I think alot of people say "maybe" when they really mean "no"but don't want to disappoint. Although it is always best to be resolute about important issues, you also have to understand that personal relationships and emotions aren't so black and white.

I'm personally of the opinioin that everyone innvolved has to be wholeheartedly in favor of threesomes for them to work out well. People don't just "tolerate" them or do them for their partner without it ending badly.

I guess the thing to consider is that as a couple, desires need to be aligned. If someone pushes the other one into a situation they're not comforatble with, there will be resentment. It is okay to compromise on minor things, but, generally, major sexual compromises will only lead to feelings of exploitation.

Peacee

 

I got asked once, i just laughed in his face. NEVER asked me again to consider it. I think if they want another woman cant love the person as much as they say.

 

and if she didn't say "maybe" and was resolute, would he accuse her of not being open minded and quickly shut opportunities out?

 

Perhaps. But I can only speak from my perspective. I would be less angry with a solid "no" than a "maybe" followed by excuses.

 

tell him you want the 3rd person to be a guy.

 

do it but you pick them someone he dosnt know you set the rules your way or no way and make it clear if u feel uncomfable to stop its that easy ol yea dont become close friends with her you or him and any futher conyack though u only go be master of your sexlife