My boyfriend found out I briefly worked as an escort in my past

My partner recently found out that before I met him, I was very briefly an escort. We had a very strong relationship and he is hurt that I kept it from him. I was afraid of losing him and it was a part of my past that i regret and i didnt want it to ruin my future with him. He is very angry and has started to blame me for everything that went wrong in the relationship even though we had some problems before all of this. How do i deal with this, with or without him?

 

That is YOUR past for YOU to deal with, not him. For him to take something you struggle with and make it about himself is a serious dick move...

 

Wow, my BF and I did talk about our pasts, not that there is escort stuff or any such but we are both not absolutely perfect, point is we talked about it all as we were learning each other in texts and phone calls before we even really decided to take it to the next level (thats the nice thing about texting) and we both agreed it's not about how many we were with or who or what happened. We also talked lots about what we want in a relationship and even got a little deeper then that.
Its really not about him what you did but I will say that throwing that out there just before you build on the relationship might have helped, give him a chance to leave or say it's ok. Bets are it would have been easier to watch him walk then compared to what it will be like now that you know so much more about him and what he does that makes you love him.
I feel for ya and I hope it works out ok but if not the next time you meet a guy you like tell him all you can so it don't show up later and throw him off like this guy is finding now. I will say I would be mad if something a little off the norm came up that I wasn't told about.

 

How did he find out?

 

Yeah, I don't think it was because you were an escort that angered him...It was the fact you kept it from him, I am pretty sure...as he probably wonders what else you are keeping from him....subconsciously....

 

I'd be feeling the same thing,,, what else,,,? We made it known to each other nothing new would come up later in the relationship.

 

You have damaged the relationship by not being honest. To fix it, you must start now being as honest as you can about everything, especially the things you haven't wanted to say. It will be uncomfortable, but I believe you must allow him to see that you are not trying to hide anything anymore. Even if you do that, he might not forgive you. Good luck.

 

You're both overreacting, which isn't good. He should try to be more understanding of you if he truly has feelings for you, you should try a little harder to be more open with him. Love is, among other things, a sharing of lives. Keeping things from your partner will ultimately eat away at you or him until your relationship is destroyed. Same thing for being understanding of each other, whatever wrongs or rights there were in the past do not need to define who you are in the present.

 

Honestly.. I would be pissed too. Not because you worked as an escort.. but because you didn't mention it. also there are some other things...like.. kissing a woman who sucked dick for money....

This is something you should never mention to a man!! (if you want something serious)

 

maybe you should handcuff him to the bed and steal his wallet.. forget that hung up asshole.

 

Aren't you contradicting yourself?

I bet your boyfriends reaction is similar to this. He says it bothers him that you weren't upfront about this when in reality just the fact of it weirds him out and makes him feel something akin to insecure.

The ball is really in his court at thus point. He needs to understand why you didn't tell him (pretty self explanatory, given his reaction) and he needs to realize he can't hold your past against you. If he can't do that then this will continue to haunt your relationship.

 

What's he angry about...was it the way he found out or the stigma of what an escort is or does? I don't know but don't escorts just go out for cash and if you end up having sexual relations it's on you? Kinda like a real date but at least you get paid too.

 

lol. Isn't that every date?

?

 

In theory, yes, that is how they attempt to get around laws against prostitution. In reality, they're hookers.

 

Yeah, I'm curious now According to you, should they mention it or not?

 

Right or wrong, you will always be judged about the choices you make on your life.

 

We all have skeletons in the closet - things we have done in the past are done ad we cannot change fact.
It is I feel not that deed have been done, but moreover the truth had no been disclosed.
It is okay in hindsight to say/think shoulda/coulda/woulda however, when in a relationship is it the right time to disclose?
- The Past was/is Yesterday -The Future is that which we write ourselves = Seems to me this, is the time for total disclosure = warts and all - Only then can an acceptance / or not of such a future be possible

Good fortune be with you

 

I would regard this as good news as an escort is one who helps you get there regardless.

 

Maybe he's pissed bc he's not quite sure how much to tip:2thumbsup:

 

Stuff like this should be on the table before you get into a serious relationship. What did you expect? of course it's going to cause insecurities.



You had sex with people for money....