moving too fast?

ok i need some advice. there's this guy im really really digging at the moment, and he digs me too. but whenever im with him i have a very hard time with my self control. it takes everything in me not to rip his clothes off. i dont wanna move too fast and fuck everything up. but its really hard to remember to take it slow when im with him. i need help majorly!

 

This doesn't sound like a serious problem to me. Control yourself -- you can do it. Saying you can't it just a nice excuse, at the end of the day.

 

Why do you feel you need to "control" yourself?

 

Just remember the longer you wait the better it will be!

 

lol. Wait until both of you are in Heaven!

 

This is also a good point.

 

thanks for the imput everyone. the reason i have the feel the need to control myself is because there is a lot of sexual tension between us. but neither of us want to take that step just yet. its just hard to remember that when we're together. we talked about it last night and we came up with a deal. tell me if you guys think this is a good idea. ok we both agreed that we dont want to be in a full on commited relationship because both of us have recently gotten out of relationships and we dont wanna dive into another one quite so soon. so we decided that after we have gone on 5 dates then we can take the next step. the dates can be as spread out as we want, and they cant be one day after the next. good idea? or a bad one?

 

sex < committed relationship

spending time < committed relationship

I'm assuming you guys are afflicted by the idea that sexual exclusiveness and possessiveness is the only possible outcome of sexual feelings.

Like the matrix.

 

I'm not saying you should rush sex if it doesn't feel right. I'm saying you shouldn't get in the way of it, if it does.

Also, you shouldn't rush commitment if it doesn't feel right. Whether you have sex or not.

 

HE dosnt want to take that next step?
you're saying HE wants to take it slow?

 

There are guys like that. Don't make a stereotype out of all of us, please. Now, I particularly think they are nuts and boring, but they do exist.

 

just seems a bit odd. if theyre really digging each other like the OP says.
but yea, i believe it

 

You know how it is, in case you haven't noticed, a lot of people have a prejudice against sex for sex's sake. So, they end up in relationships and sometimes marriages that were failed from the start, in 88% of cases.

 

I would say you should probably just fuck, because it sounds more like lust to me than anything else.. and hey fucking is fun that's what I always say so lets do it lol

Its like one of those things, you get really horny for someone, but there isnt anything else, but that horny feeling, than once you see eachother naked, and bone 10 times or so, things change.. but sometimes the guy gets all attached and it gets all manipulative, thats what I hate setting yourself up to get pooned on is what I call it..

So I wouldnt put a whole lot of attachment into it and wrap your mind around it, itll just end in heart break

 

the reason why he wants to take it slow is because he just got out of a relationship and doesnt wanna dive into another one right off the bat. and umm he's a virgin, so he is kinda nervous. which i dont mind, i have been with a few virgins, so i sorta know how to handle them. last night after we went out to dinner we talked until 3 in the morning about the whole sex thing. i told him that its normal to be nervous your first time and not to think about it too hard or else he is gonna psych himself out and its gonna suck. i just told him to pretty much roll with it and enjoy it. oh and thanks for the imput everyone. i really appreciate it.

 

Now that you say that he's a virgin... I understand everything.
Look, the fact that you're going out automatically means you're in a relationship. It doesn't matter if you don't have the girlfriend/boyfriend label on.. you talk, you spend time together.. you kiss.. whatever that creates a BOND... that i think we can call RELATIONSHIP.
So, taking things slow is not BAD, but it can also have no sense.
In his case, he's a virgin and that's why he's delaying sex.. .that's not usual with a guy SPECIALLY if the girl is about to cut her hands off just not to touch him.
Give him some time, i guess.. in the mean time.... masturbation can help! lol

 

he's probably just nervous about performing.

 

yeah we are taking things slow, its not easy at times, but i know its for the best. he has his tongue pierced which makes for awesome kissing, i just cant wait to see what else he can do with that ring of his. wink wink. and yeah he is nervous about performing, mainly he's worried that i wont have any fun. which is sweet, but i know i will have fun. i told him the first time we do it, it's gonna be all about him. i want it to be special for him i guess. my first time was horrible! and i dont want that for him. but now that im more experienced im not worried about my performance so much. i just want him to enjoy it and not be nervous the entire time.

 

Seems like it's all figured out then. I'm sure he'll have fun when it happens

 

Herrick wrote, "The grave's a grand and noble place,
But none do there, I think, embrace!"
Instead of intercourse, think "oral - man drinks first!" Relieves the 'tension,' without the psychological feeling of firm commitment. Try it or walk from frustration. No? You are not serious.