Mothers finest magic truffles- Amsterdam

So this is the first time that I waited this long before writing about my experience, but I think I wasn't ready at all before.

Earlier experiences: Shrooms, LSD, Magic Truffles, MDMA/E, 4-ho-met, 2c-b, Amfetamine

My boyfriend and I had bought 10g each of truffles called "Mother´s finest", from a pretty nice smartshop that wasn't that "touristy".

We decided to eat the truffles in our hotelroom; we lived about 40 minutes away from central amsterdam by bus. It was pretty easy to eat the truffles this time, they where not that disgusting.

We chilled in our room, waiting for it to kick in. Watched television, and I think I noticed visuals pretty early, the tv started to vibrate. That nice feeling in the body came pretty soon too, and I felt good.

We went out to take the bus downtown. The streets looked amazing, all cars driving by left colors behind like a sweeping tail. It all looked very futuristic and I saw a lot of bright neon colours. I got very excited and threw up in my mouth, and swallowed it again... I know how nasty it sounds but I didn't find it that nasty when it actually happened.

The busride downtown was pretty annoying, and it felt like it took forever. I don't remember that much from it, but we listened to a pretty trippy song with my ipod and I´m pretty sure I stared at something and spaced out for a while.

Downtown we start walking through the city. I feel how my body shrinks and grows while I walk, and it felt comforting to hold my boyfriends hand. We just walked, and walked and enjoyed the scenery.

We took a break and I sat in the lotus position on a bench and it felt as if I was floating in the air. There was grass growing out of the ground in front of me and it grew upwards in spirals, very fascinating and beautiful visuals.


Decided to move back home, on our way to the bus we smoked a big joint too. The ride home was pretty tough. I had to sit alone, facing 6 strangers. I must have looked pretty fucked up. I thought a lot about what people actually think of me, seeing me like this. Luckily this was Amsterdam where truffles are legal, I would probably have felt worse if I´d be tripping in a bus back home...

So I just sat there, tried to avoid eye contact with anyone. There was a black person sitting close to me and every time I looked at the person it changed between being a woman and a man.

I spent a lot of time looking down at the ground, my thoughts where going wild, as did the visuals. Overall the busride did not feel that awful, I was never afraid or anxious. Mostly just annoyed that it took so much time, and I felt a little observed due to facing all these strangers...

Finally back home at the hotelroom, it felt pretty good but I was insanely restless. I couldn't sit still, it was like having restless leg syndrome in the entire body. I stared at some glittery fabric and the sheets, and it was nice and great besides feeling so restless.

The trip was definitely not one of my best experiences, but it was nice. But that´s just the thing, it was just "nice". I had been smoking a lot of weed the days before. Also I´m in a weird state with my boyfriend and I don't really know how I feel about him. I´ve come across that I probably don't like to trip alone with my boyfriend, and maybe that says a lot about my true feelings for him...

I have tripped with only my best friend a couple of times, and I would trip with her anytime. But with my boyfriend... It wasn't that great. I did not really like him that much when we tripped together with friends either so I guess I have a lot to work on. And try to accept my true feelings instead of living in denial.

I just felt this huge lack of "substance" during the trip but writing it down now; I actual feel like I did learn more than I thought during this experience.

 

I've been thinking about something similar. When I trip around my wife - even though she never trips - I feel really right and our relationship always seems affirmed. And this is true even when I'm tripping with other people (which I do much more often than with my wife). Those feelings of affirmation always are enhanced when I come home from the little psytrance forest gatherings I like so much.

In contrast, this past weekend I was at 3 day gathering and Saturday around midnight I was sitting in the dark with two other people at our campsite. We were all about 1.5 hours into a roll (the woman and I) or acid (the woman's husband). I was saying that with mdma I'm freed to dance ecstatically unlike most of the time, when I'm pretty restrained. The woman says something like she dances every morning, and then her husband started talking about how that was so important to him and made him so happy and it was so completely phony that the woman couldn't even respond to him. I had previously noticed that they always sat and stood apart. I'm pretty sure the relationship is in trouble.

Mother says, "Don't try to fake it on psychedelics."

Or any other time.

I know I'm kind of not responding to your post as much as I'm saying what your post evokes in me.