more poetry from me

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by makesmomcry420, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. makesmomcry420

    makesmomcry420 shlimazl

    "'deadly' feelings"(y knot?)

    "i love you"
    i cannot say
    "i need you"
    but i dont speak
    you wont either
    i dont wanna
    end this streak
    of attention
    i get from you
    sitting beside
    you on this pew

    your what i need
    you do not see
    necessary for
    my soul to feed
    on innocence
    you are so pure
    unfortunately
    youll never see me
    on the fence
    as if a chore

    true feelings never spoken
    my heart is truly broken
    my beautiful Lolita
    my love here is choking

    inspired by the book lolita, which i am reading and my imagining a change in my feelings about a certain underage girl in my church(yall know the situation)
     
  2. zen_arcade

    zen_arcade Banned

    I think I'd like it if it weren't for the rhyming.
     
  3. makesmomcry420

    makesmomcry420 shlimazl

    this poem is a three part peom, this is the first part, and each has different writing styles.

    the last has very little rhyming, but why dont you like the rhyming?
     
  4. edyb123

    edyb123 Senior Member

    SUFFOCATION! NO BREATHING!

    DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MY ARMS BLEEDING!

    DANANANANANNANANANANA

    THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!


    lol.. nah its prtty good i liked it.
     
  5. Jadesmom810

    Jadesmom810 Lizard Queen

    I love it! It's awesome, and it flows nicely too. I'm glad that you were inspired by Lolita to write something about it. That's awesome. I wish I was that creative!
     
  6. zen_arcade

    zen_arcade Banned

    ah it's fine man.
    I'm a poet myself so maybe I'm just prejudiced and stuck in my own puritanical ways.
     

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