More attracted to one gender?

I guess I have to tell you some background history first.

I'm a girl, and I've always liked guys and have never questioned it. I've never thought I was a lesbian. On the other hand, I always noticed girls more than my friends, and I thought it was normal. Later, I started developing sexual feelings for them. At the end of middle school, I had clear-cut sexual attraction towards females, but for a long time, I thought I could never love a girl or have feelings for her at all. I thought I just liked the female body.

Then towards the end of my freshman year in high school, I realized that I could have the same feelings for a girl as for a guy, but I still seek relationships in guys. There is a level of comfort and security with men that I have not felt with women, but I usually fall for straight girls, so my feelings have never been requited on that end.

After I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I was single for about 9 months and at that point, I decided I was equal in my attraction for girls and guys: 50/50 bisexual, while beforehand I thought myself to be 70/30 (more towards guys.)

Now I have a new boyfriend. I'm so in love with him. Now I feel more attracted towards men because he's a man and I love him.

Does that make sense? I feel more attracted to both genders when I'm single, and the other half of me gets suppressed when I have feelings for either. I'm sure if I was with a girl right now, I'd feel more attracted towards girls than guys in general.

Also I used to watch lesbian porn all the time. I even prefered it over straight porn. Since my boyfriend is bisexual and I've seen him with a guy (3some) I've been super turned on to the thought of two guys together. I always was, but not as much as I am now. Now lesbian porn doesn't excite me as much as it did before, and I find myself watching M/M a lot.

Does anyone else experience this?

 

I think this is yet another example of why it's annoying to have to label ourselves.

I consider myself straight, and I've only slept with a couple of women. But sometimes I get attracted to girls, and sometimes I feel more bi than other times...right now I'm going through a really bi phase, I think. I keep wanting to hang out on the lesbian board here.

And I go through phases with porn all the time. Sometimes it's only girl-on-girl, sometimes it's only bondage porn, sometimes it's only amateur stuff. And sometimes I go for months without any interest in it at all.

 

Hey Narcolepsy I was reading some of your other posts too and I really appreciate your posting. I'm actually somewhat bisexual as well although to this point the only sexual encounter with a guy I've had is that a friend of mine in highschool and I were watching porn together and we jerked off next to each other. But that was kind of weird for me and I was never really attracted to another guy until college.

I was working at the gym one day and a guy I knew casually came up and was just shooting the shit and all of a sudden I felt something... and was just like, whoa! Cause that was the attraction vibe and it really startled me because I had never felt that for a guy before. It wasn't where I left it if you know what I mean. I never acted on anything and my attraction to guys is much less frequent than my attraction to women but it's there.

Then today actually your gloryhole post did something to me, Molly. For the first time instead of being casually intellectually interested in sucking cock I actually kind of wanted to do it. It's a bit unsettling but it makes perfect sense.

I'm also not much of a fan of labels. They're horrible, simple, controlling, fearful attempts to limit people. Did I mention I don't like labels... yeah.

I think that attraction in general is so fluid that it makes sense to feel something in one situation and not in another be it a physical space or a time period. I'm actually kind of excited about this revelation in myself and I think if given the space a whole lot more people would find that their sexuality is a bit less black and white than they thought.

 

Thanks. I agree about the black and white comment. I think people are inherently bisexual or at least a tiny bit interested in both sexes, but society has suppressed those urges in them. Especially in guys.

 

I'm more attracted to women, but I like both.

 

This is so true.

 

Funny, I find WanderingSoul's signature oddly applicable to the topic at hand.

It IS the little things in life that count...in sexuality especially.

Without the fluxuations in sexual temperments...the attention and attraction to different details at different times... life wouldn't be worth living.

Sometimes the details of my lovers personalities are more important than their gender...y'know?

I'm wondering if the OP has ever been in a relationship with a woman and if her attraction was then 60-40 toward females.

 

If you read my whole post, it says that my feelings for a woman have never been requited. So no, I've never been in a relationship with a woman.

 

Me neither. ^

 

"If you read my whole post, it says that my feelings for a woman have never been requited."

I admit I didn't read your (long) o.p. ...but I must say darling, I've been in *long term* relationships where my feelings were not 'requited'.

 

Sorry. Well, generally if you're in a relationship with someone, you assume they love/like you back.

 

It's okay... my unrequited feelings were of disgust and loathing.

 

I'm a bisexual woman, but I'm definitely attracted to men more.

 

in my incredibly inept opinion when we are in a relationship with someone we are more attracted to them and of course that sex ,but when we are single we are shopping all over the market

 

i would say i'm 99.9% attracted to women, 0.1% to men. at this point. men kinda freak me out, which i'm kind of ashamed to say. a lot of it i'm sure has to do with my own emotional issues/history, and the fact that i put myself in the lesbian box/label/category my whole life, and now the bi-sexual openness and freedom has me a bit agoraphobic. but the one heterosexual relationship i've had is really quite wonderful, though i don't think i could ever go through a phase where i'm not attracted to women. i just don't think it's part of my genetic code lol!

 

I'm completely & fully attracted to women of all shapes & sizes. On the other hand I'm also attracted to a big,thick juicy cock from time to time.

 

Im definitely more attracted to girls than guys, just sometimes I feel like having some cock.

 

I get turned on by both sexes equally.Before I made the realization I was Bi I always noticed guys and already had a number of sexual encounters with them.I've always been attracted to women also and had kept up a straight persona most of my life.I dated alot of women over the years and am seeing one now.I mainly had guys for sex only and it was'nt until I had a short relationship with a great guy that I realized I could have romantic feelings for men.Unfortunately the relationship went to hell and did'nt work out.As far as porn I can watch gay,straight,lesbian,trans whatever but prefer lesbian porn which maybe a little weird.It's also important to mention that what I find attractive other than a physical thing is diffenetely who the person is,what there like,and how do the live their life,what kind of person are they? are they kind,loving,intelligent,happy etc. So personality diffenetely plays a major part.Without a good personality the most attractive man or woman I will hardly notice at all. Peace & Love,
Joey*

 

I'm very much bi-sexual.. I check out more girls than guys.. definitely find them more attractive but I also find some men very attractive.. for me I think I could be lesbian if I found the right woman but never have and ended up falling in love with men.. I don't think it's the gender, to me its the person.. now I'm very much in love with Mike and don't want anyone else.. if he was Michelle (just giving him a girl name lol) I'd feel the same way.. I fell for a girl once when I was 16 she was amazing but being that young it kinda freaked me out.. so I had to end things with her.. it still makes me sad that I didn't give it much of a chance.. wow I'm rambling lol..

 

putting a label like "Bisexual" on yourself, people automatically assume that you like both genders equally (from MY experience, anyway).
it's not unheard of to like one gender more than the other, then switch up when you're dating someone of the other. it happens to me all the time.
you say you've never been in a relationship w/ a woman; neither have i (always started and the girls seem to lead me on then let me loose).i think that if i were to finally go out with a girl, i'd know for sure what i desire. maybe it's the same for you.


feelings are natural; you'll get them sorted out soon.
[WOW i really rambled. but i hope it made snse!! lol]