"Moe's Tavern." "Hello. Is Al there?" "Al?" "Yeah, Al. Last name, Coholic." "Lemme check. Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here? Wait a minute. Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass. If I ever find out who you are, I'll kill ya!" -Moe Szyslak and Bart Simpson, Some Enchanted Evening, Season 1, Episode 13, Original air date: May 13, 1990. "Why am I payin' $14.95 a month for this?" -Moe Szyslak, Flaming Moe's, Season 3, Episode 10, Original air date: November 21, 1991. "Gin and... tonic? Do they mix?" -Moe Szyslak, Flaming Moe's, Season 3, Episode 10, Original air date: November 21, 1991. "Can I have a scotch and water?" "My scotch is a scotch and water." -Wayland Smithers and Moe Szyslak, Flaming Moe's, Season 3, Episode 10, Original air date: November 21, 1991. "Moe, get the darts. I wanna play." "No. We're phasing out the games. People drink less when they're having fun." -Homer Simpson and Moe Szyslak, Marge on the Lam, Season 5, Episode 6, Original air date: November 4, 1993. "Now, here's what we think the impact might look like. Show them, Jerry. [First slide shows arrows pointing to "Springfield" and the "Comet". Second slide shows collision of two and an arrow pointing to "Moe's"] "Oh, dear God, no!" -Mayor Quimby and Moe Szyslak, Bart's Comet, Season 6, Episode 14, Original air date: February 5, 1995. "Go on, take it all. Get it all outta here." "You know, Moe, you might wanna keep the fire extinguishers." "Nah. Too many bad memories." -Moe Szyslak and Barney Gumble, Bart Sells His Soul, Season 7, Episode 4, Original air date: October 8, 1995. [Checking Bart's fake ID at the bar] "Twenty-five? Whoa! Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. 'S', but I gotta check everybody." "What, are you kidding? I take it as a compliment." -Moe Szyslak and Bart Simpson, Bart on the Road, Season 7, Episode 20, Original air date: March 31, 1996. "Say, uh, Barn, uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?" "Oh, yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe." "The results came back today. You owe me $70 billion. Hmm. No. Wait, wait, wait. That's for the Voyager spacecraft. Um, your tab's $14 billion. Well, alls I got is 2,000 bucks. Well, that's halfway there." -Moe Szyslak and Barney Gumble, 22 Short Films About Springfield, Season 7, Episode 21, Original air date: April 14, 1996. "Fun's over, fellas! If you're gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there's a two-drink minimum." -Moe Szyslak, The Homer They Fall, Season 8, Episode 3, Original air date: November 10, 1996. "Listen up. This is the busiest drinking day of the year. Where are the designated drivers? beat it! I got no room for cheapskates." -Moe Szyslak, Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment, Season 8, Episode 18, Original air date: March 16, 1997. "Heh, heh. This is the first time I ever watered down my liquor!" "Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth like that?" -Moe Szyslak and Lenny, GI (Annoyed Grunt), Season 18, Episode 5, Original air date: November 12, 2006. "This vibrating massage chair feels great." "That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches." -Homer Simpson and Szyslak, Moe'N'a Lisa, Season 18, Episode 6, Original air date: November 19, 2006. "Moe's rat-free tavern. Heya, Marge. Yeah, yeah, Homer's here." -Moe Szyslak, Eeny Teeny Maya Moe, Season 20, Episode 16, Original air date: April 5, 2009. "Eh it was either this or put in a ladies' room." -Moe Szyslak, Donnie Fatso Season 22, Episode 9, Original air date: January 2, 2011.
