Mixed emotions and the mind fuck of a life time

So, I consider myself to be a rather educated and well versed individual. Before I try something new(whether it be a drug or not) I do the best I can to understand what I'm getting into. I've had a long and fruitful relationship with Mary J and I wanted to expand my horizons. After a few weeks of research, I decided that I wanted to experience LSD. However, this is not about my trip so much as it is my experience with the drug itself.

Long story short, I thoroughly enjoyed my trip and feel as if I know myself that much better for having experienced it, however I feel that this is a privilege not all of us are equipped to handle.

Saturday night around 6PM myself, and four of my closer mates dropped some rather potent acid. We took three hits each and come to find out, I was really the only one who truly knew what we were putting into our bodies. "Ooo a hard hallucinogenic drug, lets see faces on walls for a few hours" seemed to be the general consensus, and although I warned them, who am I to tell others what to do with their own minds?

So about 3 hours into the trip I began to notice one of my mates losing it alittle. He was sitting in a corner by himself being very quiet staring into the floor, this is very like him however, so no one else thought anything of it. I pulled one of the two sober trip sitters we had with us aside and warned him that I thought our friend was about to have a very bad trip, and that I just had a feeling he wasn't going to be ok tonight.

About an hour later, he began to get bad. He started repeating certain phrases such as "it's alright man" over and over mindlessly wandering around the house, attempting to casually walk out doors and even windows. I watched him closely and not very long after he started to really lose it. He really wanted out of the house and away from us, but it really wasn't him. No matter how hard we tried we couldn't communicate with him, it was like talking to a wall or someone who doesn't understand our language. This is when the others began to become concerned. We tried our best to calm him but as things escalated he began to have violent outbursts, taking off his clothes and trying with a deep rage to run from us. It came to the point that we had to restrain him to the couch as he was clawing and biting, we tried to be friendly and tell him we loved him but nothing was getting through. At the appex of these events, we lost grip on him and he sprinted down a narrow hall way running directly into a glass cabinet with thousands of dollars of crystal and glass collectibles in it, shattering it and cutting himself.

After this, it became apparent it was going to be a long night, and this is also when he truly took a turn for the worst. He turned from being violent and physical into a pathetic, dribbling, nonsensical mental mess. He truly believed he was dying. He couldn't stop going on and on about "what direction?", "accciiciciiiiidddd", and "im bleeding, there's blood everywhere". He let things out of the deepest darkest places of his mind that none of us should of ever heard. I watched as one of my closest mates completely and utterly tore down the foundations of his mind and soul in a seemingly endless torrent of suffering. I have never been more terrified in my entire life. Later the next day he, although still not all together, tried to explain to us what he was experiencing. Those of us in the room were his family and instead of trying to comfort him we were yelling at him and telling him he was a fuck up and we wanted him to die. For hours and hours he was stuck in this loop of pain and suffering.

As I'm sure you all get the point by now, this is my problem. I know people have bad trips, but this was unlike anything I've ever heard of. While I really enjoyed the eye opening experience LSD offered me personally, simply seeing what it can bring out in a more vulnerable mind scares the hell out of me. I'm torn between a deep respect for it, and a deep hatred. I don't know whether to shun it or embrace it. I saw it as a tool handed to me to more deeply explore my mind, but I saw it in others as a key simply used to unlock the deepest, darkest places of one's mind.

 

LSD is no respecter of persons. I liken it too the most honest, no holds barred, at times harshest mirror into oneself a person can encounter. If an indivdual is not willing or prepared to be brought face to face with themselves, whether positive or negative, then they should probably pass on psychedelics.
I personaly think the main error is in how much your inexperienced friend took.

 

Sounds like a scary trip for the poor guy

I truly dont believe I can have a bad trip in the right enviroment/mindset. I would feel terrible if I encouraged someone to try it and they had this kind of experience I guess you just never know until the individual has tried it?

 

The bad trips are the most important ones, usually the trips you learn the most from. My bad trips are certainly ones I'm thankful for. For some, it shows the mistake of thinking that some drugs are like others, 'party drugs' to make you feel good. If you don't know what you're getting into - which most don't when they first stumble upon psychadelics, since what you experience is unimaginable beforehand - and you're really not spiritually prepared to handle the shock, it'll crush you. But hopefully, if it does, it'll make you that much stronger to have survived it. To feel that much better to be sober afterwards. How is your friend now?

 

Its for reasons like this that I always recommend mushrooms over any other psychedellic for first timers.

Ya mushrooms can get more intense, ya they can get you deeper, ya they can reveal more than you want to see. BUT the real meat of the trip wears off in roughly 4 hours. It's much safer for that reason.

 

was any music put on during any of that?....I would say paranoia is one of the worst mindfucks, but ive never had a bad acid trip so i cant compare right now...How is something like that even possible?ive had a few unpleasent e trips but ive also had some of my most memorable moments on it, but an acid trip?, my mind was always wiped out whenever i had one of those, like to the point where i couldnt even think of having one like that.....How was he the day after tommorow?

 

The day after, he was still messed up. It never really wore off. Me and another mate had to care for him all day Sunday, and were still worried about him when we dropped him off at home around 9PM. Yesterday, he looked like complete death and said he still didn't feel normal. He hasn't really been able to hold a conversation with anyone past a few sentences. I haven't spoken to him today yet, but I'm hoping he actually got some sleep last night.

Is it likely that he will have HPPD from that traumatic of an experience? What worries me is that he remembers it all. I've only been able to find one other story of a trip this bad and in that account, the individual "came to" very quickly the next morning and didn't remember much, if any of it. This took a very long time for him to calm down and he can explicitly remember details, and it seems to me like it's all he can think about.

Edit:
And no there was no music when it was at it's worse. However he is a musician through and through, so as he began to understand what we were saying we would quietly play some of his favorite songs and try and get him to recognize them. We continually spoke to him about familiar things hoping that we could get a glimpse of the real person for a moment.

 

This video shows the dramatic and varying effects LSD 25 can have on people, it was an experiment conducted in the 1970's with the goal being if using LSD on enemy troops could be a viable means of warfare.

If the subtitles don't appear on there own click on the closed caption button in the lower right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iualITdxXBk&feature=related

It appears that after they were dosed they were asked to perform routine exercises in a military manner for as long as they could before the drug warped them to an unmanageable extent.

Enjoy!

 

I've heard many reports of bad trips, almost everyone I've talked to who has tripped has had a bad one at least once and they all have a few common themes. I've been there too, but I was at a concert pouring the depths of my mind out to the people in the crowd.

Oftentimes I hear of thoughts of death or dying, getting stuck in thought loops, repetition of words, the belief that those around them are malicious and hostile, screaming, trying to escape or run, yelling out secrets locked deep within, paranoia of police or parents finding out, and many more.

What it points to is that the person experiencing the bad trip has developed a mental habit of locking things away that are feared. Fear of humiliation, punishment, rejection, etc. Its like the person is walking around with a clenched fist and has done it for so long that oftentimes what is clenched within the fist has been forgotten about.

I don't know how to explain the thought loops other than using myself as an example. When I got stuck in a thought loop while tripping, it seemed like there was another being mocking my every move and that everything I was doing I had done infinitely many times. It harkened back to strange thought loops I had as a child that would take a while to explain...

IMO acid 'cleanses' the brain. Thoughts and memories are brought forth and reexamined. When the person starts thinking of these deep secrets and strange mental habits, they try again to push them back. But now the thoughts have entered the conscious mind and the mind on LSD will not let it go.

^^^ This conflict is where most people begin to fall into a bad trip. Your friend will recover, it may take years but he will be better for it. I'd say let him forgo psychedelics and slowly reintroduce them when he feels ready (start small).

 

It makes me think of something one of the early psychedellic researchers said "fear the dreaded underdose"

They would give first time patients in LSD psychotherapy 600 micrograms of pure lab made LSD right off the bat because they had to ensure the ego be completely wiped and the person knocked completely flat on there ass wiped out. Otherwise, the possibility existed that the person would fight the entire experience, and come out of it seriously tramautized with terrible memories.

 

Got to say thats an exellant view on bad trips in general .. And fully agree this is how it tends to happen.

With lsd you just cant hide ..

 

Like I said, it's a very thorough and unforgiving mirror. Shows us ourselves, warts and all.

 

one of my best friends had basically the same experience as your friend did.. he didnt crash into shit or yell and get violent.. but he was very quiet and a few hours in was saying how he wasnt normal ect... during the early morning and next day, he kept saying that it didnt wear off and he wasnt back to normal yadadada. of coarse none of us were 100% back to normal, which im not sure if you ever are after an lsd experience, but he wouldnt calm down and relax. he kept freaking out..

its been exactly a year ago, this week, for when that trip happened. he said he thought about his trip almost every day until about 3 months ago, and now its just every so often.. it takes a long time to get back to the ground after something so scary