Mistress

Do you think a man can love both his wife and mistress?




moderation note:
Three similar threads have been rolled into one.
-drumminmama

 

I feel that if someone is a mistress, it is very important for them to see other people so as not to get too attached to the married man. Thoughts?

 

I think it is possible to love more than one person. Polygamists have proven this. I believe there is love and then "in love". "In love" is that special feeling you get when the connection is almost at a spiritual level.

 

That's implying the mistress isn't married to said man.
My mistress is my lover, she's not very interested in anybody else.

 

Understood. =]

 

Of course! Usually, the roles of each, and their personalities, are quite different.

 

It varies, depending on the age and maturity of the individuals.

When I was a mistress, I understood my role very well, and I stayed within it. At the start, I already had a lot of sexual experience.

 

Agreed I think we have to remember IT IS WHAT IT IS..... not get too attached to him, and keep options open.

 

One way to avoid getting attached is to recognize the guy as a liar, sneak, and cheat.

I'm not criticizing you or trying to be judgmental so I hope it doesn't come across like that. Just pointing out that its pointless to fall in love with a married man. Even if he left his wife for you he would eventually leave you for someone else.

 

Sometimes mistresses are in a stage of life in which they don't want a serious relationship, for one reason or another. It might be because of a recent relationship that ended poorly, or because of issues related to education and career. I was just going along for the fun ride, not really sure what my next move should be. I liked having all my options open.

That is, if the wife doesn't know what's going on. It took me a long time to figure out that in my situation, the wife almost surely knew, and didn't care because I was doing all the stuff she didn't want to do. She probably thought she had the better deal, while I thought I had the better deal. It all came down to personality differences. I wanted adventure, and she wanted to play country club wife and mommy.

 

I love this response. Couldn't have said it better myself. F***ing and feelings are awfully close in the dictionary. Life and personal experience just screamed at me. It is hard because mine has the foundation of a longterm friendship. The feelings were there long before the f***ing ever started.

 

I understand it is easy for people to hate the other woman/man, but I just want to make the point that people don't stray unless the person is meeting some needs that they need met.... just sayin

 

I used to be one of "The Self-Righteous".

 

I used to hate the "OM" and often thought of causing him bodily harm. Then my therapist told me he only walked through a door that was opened for him. I would probably still stomp the shit out of him. Not because of what he did, simply because he is a POS as a person.

 

I absolutely agree that it's hard to keep feelings from creeping into a multi-partner relationship. My wife and I were in a wonderful threesome with a very close male friend. It lasted for about half a year, but ultimately broke up because my wife was starting to fall in love with our friend. (She wasn't falling out of love with me, she was simply beginning to develop a deep emotional bond with her other lover.) My fragile male ego couldn't cope and everything came apart. If I'd just been a bit more secure about the whole thing, we might have ended up forming a long term polyamorous (MFM) relationship. (I have to admit that watching the two of them together was one of the most arousing activities I've ever witnessed!)

Now, I realize that a threesome is different from one of us (my wife or I) having a lover that has no involvement with the other spouse, but the same kinds of emotional bonds can form and (potentially) complicate matters.

 

fucking someone else's significant other is a shit thing to do. just not as bad as the one doing the cheating.

 

Call the Morality Police. There is a self righteous asshole on here

 

you know angelica peaches isn't going to fuck you, right? she's probably not even female.

 

I think that if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, cheating is cheating and you should bail. No morality about it. If you are in an open relationship, have at it. All good then. A relationship will not work with lies and cheating as it basis. If both parties are om with it, then that is all good..