"Men and women are Different"

Actually, the safest sex of all is masturbation.

 

Masturbation is not sex. It may be sexual activity, but it is not sex. Sex requires two people.

 

Guess I've been doin it wrong this whole time.

 

That's a very good reason for wanting to read forum sections like this one. I totally get that part of it.

Again, I understand your concern.

Probably all you can do for them that will make a real difference is to make sure they have access to plenty of factual information, and be a good listener when they want to talk. The big decisions are ultimately theirs to make.

Obviously, you have exactly what you're looking for in a partner. I honestly hope that things continue to go well for the two of you. :seeya:

 

No, Mike, three is okay too! :rofl:

 

ok cool, thanks for clearing that up.

 

Honestly, I'm not even sure what your argument is/was

 

Says who? What's sex? What about mutual masturbation?

 

When you're asked if you've "had sex," and you've only masturbated, do you answer with a "yes" or a "no?"

As for mutual masturbation, that can mean two different things. If you're referring to two people masturbating themselves in the same room (for example), then it still wouldn't be sex if there's no contact between the two involved. If they were masturbating each other, then you might be able to make a valid argument that it was "sex" (though I personally wouldn't consider it sex).

 

What about oral sex? Is that sex? What if it involves gays?

 

I'm torn between the viewpoints expressed by Cherea and Mike0606.

To Cherea, everything is innate. Men and women are inherently different in many ways, including boys wearing blue and girls wearing pink. The women here who have sex for sex's sake are genetic aberrations. That makes sense when you consider the notion that free will is an illusion.

To Mike0606, men and women are not different. They are just sheep who strive to live up to society's different expectations for each gender. That makes sense when you consider that women are suddenly comfortable with premarital sex whereas in the 1950s they weren't. Did their genes change? Or did society's expectations simply change?

 

Cherea's view is not supported by historical evidence. See the book, Sex at Dawn, by a detailed explanation of why I say this. Men and women, of course, are physically different, but anything beyond that is largely the result of cultural and societal influences as Mike0606 has suggested. Anyone who thinks women who have sex for sex's sake are aberrations is just clueless to historical fact beyond 2-3,000 years or so.

 

While a very good book, one has to be careful when attempting to use it as conveying any sort of historical "fact" or "truth". The problem is that the period in question, 2000 to 3000 years ago, is murky. This was pointed out in many peer reviewed takes on the book and Ryan himself acknowledges the gaps. The simple fact of the matter is that there is too little evidence to say either take represents the "norm" during that period.

 

True, but there is plenty of evidence which indicates that the disparities between men and women in those days was anything like what we see today (and therefore not so cut and dry as Cherea would like us to believe).

 

So you don't think men and women are different?

 

Are you addressing that to me?

 

I beg to differ. Sex at Dawn is not well-regarded among scientists and usually dismissed as a propagandistic blurb by many.

For real science, check out: http://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Coercion-Primates-Humans-Evolutionary/dp/0674033248/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364952686&sr=1-10&keywords=sexual+selection+in+primates"]Sexual Coercion in Primates and Humans: An Evolutionary Perspective on Male Aggression Against Females: Martin N. Muller, Richard W. Wrangham: 9780674033245: Amazon.com: Books



And the Yale Courses series on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzdqyXtPbbE"]1. Evolution of Sex and Reproductive Strategies - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ckinOhdtDw"]2. Sex and Violence Among the Apes - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlKJccM_ZUA"]3. From Ape to Human - YouTube

Check out also Stanford University's Robert Sapolsky's lecture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOY3QH_jOtE"]15. Human Sexual Behavior I - YouTube

 

Funny you bring up Robert Sapolsky, I've met him personally.

His work with a particular baboon troupe, whom had all it's males die off from a tuberculosis infection, leaving only the female to survive and take over was interesting. A lot of the male bravado was no longer tolerated and the troupe was highly functional.

 

I'm sorry, I have not watched the Sapolsky vid I posted in the other post. This is the one I've watched, but I will keep the other up for full disclosure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKNAzl-XN4I"]3. Behavioral Evolution II - YouTube

 

That is what I tried pointing out as well. With books like Sex at Dawn people seem to remove their critical thinking caps because the book tells them what they want to hear.

Ryan, the author, even acknowledges this. I felt he brought an interesting take and evidence to the wider discussion. However, his findings should not be treated as facts or truths.

 

Yeah