"Men and women are Different"

Must be so sad to be filled with such bitterness and despair that you lash out at others who don't fit your own world view.

 

bitterness and despair are phases I have already gone through. Now it's just sadness and weariness.

it's just mind numbing how few people acknowledge the negative consequences of these behaviors.

promiscuity is like gluttony, it may not make you fat but it destroys the soul. Acting out carnal desires with out considering the effects it has on others and oneself is just so selfish and inconsiderate.

the lies told, the games played, the self esteem damaged, the loneliness created, the health compromised, the feelings of intimacy cheapened, the families destroyed, it goes on and on.

people talk about college sex as if it were some paradise but many kids are hurt. Some kids even commit suicide because they don't fit in, can't find acceptance, are deliberately excluded,are humiliated or deliberately shamed. The gossip mongering and rumors, deception, mockery, invasion of privacy, cruelty and rejection are whirling knives attacking all but the most popular, attractive people who have no conscience, no empathy, no compassion.

EVERYONE is aware of all this but almost everyone chooses to ignore it, pretend these problems don't exist, sweep it under the rug.

Consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want but don't pretend that open relationships are normal or healthy and don't for one minute try to justify these lifestyles or make the obscene claim that couples in these relationships are in love. allowing your spouse to have sex with someone else is not love. wanting to dominate sexually is not love. there is no tenderness, attachment or affection if you do these things.

love is spiritual, it is the uniting of two individuals into one being, it is the putting away of selfish desires, it is putting your partner's needs ahead of yours. it is a closing off to the others and saying we are united, physically, emotionally, intellectually and no one else is welcome in our bed, no one else may touch or kiss or share secrets, that there is a force field surrounding us and we fused indistinguishably. Allowing anyone else in destroys that like shattering glass and all that is left then is the savagery of a cruel, indifferent world.

love is what redeems us. we sacrifice much for it but get infinityy in return.

 

Older women and ugly women especially want to control the young hot girls, because they fear the competition.

Guys are more likely to slut-shame in front of other women, because they think it's expected of them, and it will earn them social points.

In America, that's called college.

I'm partly joking. The sexless part of that scenario is about college for people with unrealistic expectations. I used to know so many fat and ugly girls who were waiting for Mr. Perfect, assuming that he would be interested. I never knew why they thought that way. I guess their parents had told them too many times how great they were.

A lot of women's expectations and tastes change sometime around age 30, so the younger unpopular nice guys need to be patient. Your time is coming. I know it isn't easy to wait.

I sure as hell can't figure it out.

What a load of bullshit. Truly pathetic.

I have a similar reaction to your preaching. :ack2:

Small-town Southern churches are like that too, but I guess you could classify most of them as hate groups. :argue:

 

That was partly a rhetorical device. I've been married twice and had two other committed relationships and have never been celibate except for the few months before I met my wife (and that was by choice). The point was, who wants to live in a Darwinian sexual jungle where the best looking and the sexiest all romp at will and the rest of us are made to feel like the last person chosen for a pickup basketball game. I think I exaggerate my shortcomings in my own mind but even as a straight male I can pick out the men who are natural pussy magnets who can bed all sorts of good looking women with hardly any effort.

I have detoxed from American male-itis. I don't care about fast cars or guns or slender women. I don't play that game. If I didn't have my wife I bet I could attract a woman of my own choosing very quickly. I may be monogamous but I am a fucking machine who knows exactly how to make women feel contentment.

What I hate is constantly having to defend my choices in women to colleagues, friends and acquaintances.

I have approximately zero tolerance for other men and haven't made a meaningful male friendship in more than 25 years. I am ALL about women and I don't want ANY competition.

 

I'd like to know which of the seven deadly sins destroyed yours, because nothing about your manner leads me to believe that yours is pure, holy or in any way undamaged to a high degree. The words you use to describe your feelings towards these people really is quite like I said: Not much different than what I've seen of hate groups. It's ugly, judgmental and downright detestable.

Two single people having sex is only effecting the people involved. Anyone else that feels like they're effected needs to get over themselves.

"Bit dramatical, ain't we?"

Generalizations, the lot of it. All that shit happens in most areas of life and it just comes down to individual responsibility. You have to ask yourself: "Are you going to let this bullshit effect you that much?" I said "No.", you've let it define your world-view.

And we're going back to this bullshit. Don't present your opinion as fact, because it's not.

What a lonely fucking world you live in. I knew I could be negative and cynical about things, but, shit, after discussing stuff with you I may need to re-evaluate what the meaning of negative and cynical are.

 

I can't imagine why you would ever need to have a conversation with them about the subject. Why does that come up? Do you preach the superiority of your views to them all the time, like you do with us? If so, maybe they just want you to shut the fuck up.

In the business world, I regularly encounter ultraconservative men who pontificate on why it's essential for the world to go back to a 1955 social mindset. They say the same shit over and over, and I say nothing in response. They don't know anything about my personal life, past or present, and they don't have a right to know. Having a conversation with them about it would only do harm to my ability to earn a living.

To the typical aging Southern traditional male, there is nothing on earth worse than tolerating different opinions, values, and points of view. Diversity is toxic to them. I don't know how to fight that, except to hide from it.

 

Men talk about women constantly. I get the stares, looks, comments when I mention what I find attractive or women I think that are beautiful. My whole life I have fought the Blonde hair/ blue eyes is superior mindset and 'fat chicks' are inferior. I have ALWAYS preferred brunettes, in fact I have only slept with one blonde and my 2nd girlfriend was a red head. All my other sex partners have been brunettes. I also prefer women who are bigger, thicker, curvier. I don't like blondes, don't like NASCAR, don't hunt or own guns, don't care about motorcycles or sports cars. I have always voted Democrat. I am left handed, was the only uncircumcised boy in my gym class. I have always been an outsider.

even here.

 

I always felt college sort of evened out the disparity scale. The environment usually levels the playing field so to speak, allowing a lot of people who can't (or have a tough time) getting laid much more sexual opportunity.

In the real world it's more of an animalistic "kill or be killed" type of mentality. No one is going to give you a hand up. If you can't play the game, then you end up watching everyone else score from the bench.

Lol, if those guys are smart, when the 30+ year old women start chasing them they'll turn them down for the hotter, younger 20 year olds .

 

No fight needed. Those guys have a right to their opinion, as do you. I'm a brunette. My husband prefers brunettes, generally. He especially hates fake blonds with fake boobs. I don't see why it matters that a lot of men disagree with him. They don't figure into the equation. I've found a sufficient number of men who like what I have to offer.

Then you should hate intolerance as much as I do, because you've been a victim of it. But you don't. That's a mystery to me.

You're missing the entire point of Hip Forums. This is the place for outsiders!!! This is why we are here!

It does, if their expectations and standards are realistic.

Nah, the younger women are still going to reject them. They don't get it yet. They haven't had their fill of brainless studs who have nothing to offer outside the bedroom.

 

I am very tolerant of different races, creeds, skin colors, religions, personal eccentricities, etc. but I am not tolerant of ideas and beliefs I find false or offensive.

 

I noticed that sexual preference didn't make your list, so I guess you're a homophobe too. Homosexuality wasn't allowed in 1955.

Absolute monogamy would force me to choose between dick and pussy.

 

my sister is a lesbian. I have no issue with homosexuality.

 

Then we have nothing left to say to each other in polite conversation. People on opposite sides of the tolerance issue have nothing to discuss. We know that we are going to work as hard as humanly possible to completely and utterly defeat each other, so... bring it on! :boxing_smiley: This is one issue where there is no room for compromise. Either you respect other people's lifestyle decisions, or you don't.

I have noticed that you don't answer any questions that don't help you make the points you are here to make. That's a very cynical, pragmatic, and disrespectful debating technique, so don't expect anything less from me in the future.

I'm here to win, just like you are. The last thing any tolerant person wants is to give narrow-minded haters a fair chance to win, and the last thing any hater wants is to give a social liberal a fair chance to win. So go fuck yourself.

Samantha, you wanted to know about paternalism. This is it, at its worst, in every post that FX makes. Conservative men make all the rules, and contrary opinions from women are treated as nothing more than an irritating speed bump in a parking lot. They feel bad for us and our sad, hopeless lives when we can't see the superiority of their old-fashioned thinking. Is the picture getting clear to you now?

 

neither you nor mindriot nor anyone else really, is willing to admit that there are negative consequences to your 'lifestyle choices' as if deciding to be a swinger was the equivalent of deciding what color to paint the living room or what to have for dinner Tuesday night.

you talk about your wild college days without once mentioning anything bad that you or your friends experienced. none of you have ever discussed marriages that suffered or ended in divorce, none of you ever mentioned contracting an STD, facing an unwanted pregnancy or difficulty in forming real intimacy with another person, it's all "why can't you respect our lifestyle choice?" and my response to that is "why can't you admit the downside of those choices". Until any of you respond to the points that I make I am not going to show respect. You are the ones ignoring me not the other way around, I still haven't heard from one formerly promiscuous woman with a long sexual past who has said she was able to be successfully married and monogamous.

if you want to have a debate and want me to acknowledge you then do the same for me.


and calling me conservative or paternalistic is a joke as I am neither. I am not trying to inflict my beliefs on women, I am saying people, MEN and women should start acting in a more respectful way and stop pursuing selfish, hedonistic lifestyles.

I have never voted for a Republican, I detest the Tea Party, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News. I am not a Christian, I live in New York and abhor the Bible Belt. I believe guns should be outlawed, I believe we should have Universal Health Care, am Pro-Choice, support gay marriage and feel that big Corporations are the biggest threat to humanity so don't call me conservative.

 

If one doesn't alow themselves some hedonism as they go through life,then life would be pretty damn boring. Think of how you,me and anyone else and our actions will be thought of in 100 years. Not at all. Live life like you're going to die and let others do the same.

 

What in the world makes you believe you are to be the arbiter of what people "should" and should not do? Who put that responsibility on your shoulders?

Are there negative consequences to being promiscuous? For many people, sure. For others, not so much. But then there are negative consequences to a great many decisions we as human beings make as we go through life. We don't elect not to do those things or not to make those decisions simply because there is some risk involved (quite the opposite, in fact). If we did that, we'd still be living in the early days of the Stone Age.

You decide what YOU should do, and let everyone else decide what they should do.

 

if no one discusses the negative someone might get involved in something they regretted afterwards and think "I wish I would have known..." or "I wish someone would have told me what I was in for".

 

-Marriages that suffered or ended in divorce? Do 'monogamous' people don't get divorced?

-STDs and unwanted pregnancies- use a condom. Without one you can get an STD and get pregnant even if you have a series of monogamous relationships.

-Difficulty in forming a real intimacy with another person? Unless you have lived the lifestyle and got to that conclusion, you shouldn't just assume stuff. In fact even if you had lived that lifestyle you still shouldn't assume that other people can't be form intimate relationships.

 

That is a valid point, but that doesn't remotely answer the question I asked you. You didn't just say we need to discuss the negatives, but you made an assertion that people should live the way you believe they should live. So, I'll ask again, who made you the arbiter of how people should or should not live they're lives?

 

I never said they should live a certain way, I said they should seriously examine their choices and think about the potential consequences of those decisions. I have also said that it was my belief that people are happiest when they are in committed, faithful relationships. Neither one of those assertions mean I am telling people how to live their lives.