I'm writting this poem for someone I'm very passionate about, does anyone have any constructive criticism? Jessica: 8/12/05 By: Robert Gordon The songs of the night hum in the darkness, As the soft light of the cosmos gently drips upon a small garden in the mountains. Within the garden lies a beautiful rose with a set of entrancing brown eyes, Which capture my wandering soul with whispers of deep emotion. This rose is unlike any flower I have ever known, In this progressing cycle of evolution that is my teenage life. She radiates the beauty of existence with her soft burgundy lips, Which consistently leaves me longing for just one more kiss. As the flower blooms, its vibrant colors Create a picturesque hallucination of all the memories in the past, As they ascend into the dawn’s heavenly sky, one after another. This blossom has given me a Shamanic vision of passion, emotion, lust and sexual desire. But the most important question is why did this wonderful flower choose me? It is unheard of for such a naturally enchanting rose enter into this strange and crazy dream, which for the most part we like to call life. Surely I’m not worth your ardor, beauty, and passion, But to be honest my sweet summer blossom, Your nectar makes each day sweeter that way. And this mi amor is an entirely true story.
Dig it man,... You KNOW why that wonderful flower chose you. Cause you a honey bee,..dancing around her hive! You don need no constructive stuff man,.. You need to hold on to her. Make it work. Damn,...you and Citrus just got the luck of the Angels when it comes to good women.
Welcome, Namaste Dear Bright Love-light. 'I'm writting this poem for someone I'm very passionate about, does anyone have any constructive criticism?' Well I feel this is very constructive, very loving, you go for it. She sounds beautiful, you are a very expressive writer. Thank you for sharing your love with us. Continue... Namaste & Bright Blessings, Sylvan ~*
you are an incredible poet. none the less. I do ask my self the same question of why my love picked me. But you must realise. your soul is a vibriat one. let it shine. and hold on to that special someone with all you have. do not let go under any cercomstanses.
