Married Bi male,submissive nervous

Hello everyone. I’m a 40 year old married bi male who hasn’t had any encounters with another male since my early 20’s. Thankfully I’m in a relationship where I haven’t had to hide my bi side and have been encouraged to explore. A little background information, like a lot of people I started messing with a friend at a young age for fun. After some years it progressed to oral then anal. I was always the bottom(which at the beginning was determined early on because of my lack of endowment.) After some practice I really learned to enjoy it, then, he got married and it stopped. I got more into women from then on but still have wanted to experience a man again but never have. I always get nervous and back out or the guy isn’t understanding that am submissive, I need that dominant push to get me into the mood. Like I said, I’m small endowed, I know it and like the more dominant guy to express that. How does a guy my age go about finding a safe, type specific friend with benefits? I live in an area of few( or not out) bi guys. Any suggestions would be appreciated or just some of your own personal stories.

 

My wife and I found our present boyfriend on Craigslist about three years ago but that's gone now, not sure where to search now.

 

Thanks for the reply. It seems(for me anyway) that talking with other like minded people helps a lot.

 

There are plenty of people here to chat with willing to provide advice and experiences.

 

Hope you get something arranged soon can I ask what you mean by small. I am 6.5 inches and only had 1 guy who was bigger

 

Sometimes starting slow works for some guys. I meet for coffee first. It helps to get the first meeting nervousness out of the way. It helps to gain confidence later if you click. If you don't click then you don't move on.

 

I'm the exact opposite. I'm 8" myself and only had one smaller two times. I prefer the big cocks, really obsessed with them. Our (My wife and I) boyfriend is 9.5"

 

My advice would be to start slow and just go with your flow..Just love and respect yourself enough to wait for the right situation and it will be that much better..I am 40 DL, have a gf, and have limited bi exp..There's no rush..I had cravings\thoughts for YEARS before giving in..For me its about the "urges"...They come in phases..And I never know when they will return..Can go weeks\months without them being bad but they ALWAYS come back..
Phase 1: it crosses my mind and the seed is planted..(Minimal) (A want..) can last a few weeks
Phase 2: The seed starts to grow, the urges get stronger but are managable (Medium) (A..Need) (bi\gay porn gets me through)
Phase 3: It moves from the back of your mind to the front..The urges are raging, and the cravings become so powerful, they rule your thoughts..(HIGH) (From a need, to a want, to a MUST HAVE) For me I always wait until this phase because the giving in becomes euphoric once you finally do..That adrenaline rush is amazing..

I obviously dont do it often, and am still fairly new, (oral exp,only) but I am learning to embrace these urges and no longer "run" from them when its time to give in..
Currently in Phase 2 so doing a long extensive search in my area to find the perfect fit when those urges level up..Take your time, explore within your limits and enjoy the journey! Good luck!

 

There are several bi dating sites on the internet. Google "bisexual dating sites" and go from there. Many are free with limited access, such as one or two emails a day, access to profiles, etc. Subscriptions are around $10 per month with a three-month minimum.

Age 40 is young by many standards (I'm 72) and don't worry about your size. Be honest with those you contact and you should find plenty of activity.

 

This is exactly how it works for me. In phase two well on my way to phase three. I am making plans with a guy I meet with time to time.

 

I hear you . It has taken me years to come to grips with my urges. Now I finally have a regular who I am comfortable with who is in the same boat as I am. The discretion and safety make the whole much easier.

 

I'm hoping to find the same as well..Have begun searching..Someone preferably in the same boat, where we can indulge in our secret desires together

 

This sounds just like me. I don’t fancy men but get urges where I would want to be fucked and suck cock. It comes and goes but when it is here it is all I can think about. In my mind I would want to meet a couple who like having a toy to play with, me. While I lick pussy I can get my ass pounded or lick pussy while it is being fucked and then suck the cock. I have never been with a man at all and as I said I don’t fancy men but the idea of being fucked by another man drives me crazy. It is nice there are forums like this with people who have the same sort of fantasy’s
.

 

I haven't found one yet but the secret desires and build up are intense. It fluctuates, but never turns off at this point. When it's fully on I have to jo, and I find the fantasy very enjoyable. I can picture myself having a trusted companion to be intimate with, build something health physically and mentally.

 

Thanks for all the replies. For those who have asked, I’m 4 inches fully erect and not thick. This is not an issue as far as keeping me from sex. I actually enjoy being small and like being teased or humiliated about it.

 

Hi Lanny, I've never had the pleasure of orally pleasing a man, but sure want to. When I was 21 in Army, I was 80 miles off base, nowhere to stay, when a guy driving by offered a place to stay, it sounded nice having my own place to sleep, was in basic training. After stripping down to my undies, he came in and laid next to me. Within one minute he was feeling my cock which grew immediately. He knelt on top of me, yanked down my undies and started sucking my cock. At the time it was unbelievably that a man would do such a thing. After a few minutes it felt so good that I started humping in his mouth. That's when he started moaning, when I came, he didn't waste a drop. He put my hand on his hardness, and I was paralyzed with fear. He seemed to understand and left the room. In morning he hopped in bed again and sucked me dry. Again I couldn't fondle his cock. I wish he would have made me suck his cock, I so desire to do that. I very much want a man to teach me how to suck and swallow.

 

I've been lucky enough to enjoy the company of two "first-timers". Both had said I was the best cock sucker they ever experienced and wanted to learn how to deep throat like I could. I told them...Practice man, lots of practice. It was fun letting them learn on my 8". Hopefully you'll find a guy to play with soon.

 

Hello LowHangers, sure appreciate your feedback. So much positive excitement from your story, would sure like to practice on you, could use an experienced man to teach me. Thx, would love being your first timer.

 

For me, first timers are so much fun to enjoy. Knowing your cock is the first cock he's placed into his mouth is a huge turn on. The two I experienced were naturals too...Like they've been sucking cock their entire lives. It didn't surprise me because I too was a natural my first time. Knowing what feels good since we have a cock makes the experience so much more enjoyable.

 

An experienced man like yourself would be such a pleasure to please, having thoughts of that right now. You could break me in properly.