Married and sexually frustrated

Whole lot of Chicsplaining goin on

Yep, thats a word

*ducks

 

Just offering my opinion.
I get more and fun sex just from communicating just saying. Otherwise I'd be like a fool who sits there wondering, I want to do this, but is she keen? I better keep it to myself just to be sure and then not have that fun which I want to try.

Fuck dat.

 

It sucks. I have been in a relationship where sex was just about once a month. I began to get migraine headaches and almost lost my job. Finally she cheated and I found out that ended it. I refuse to go thru that again. I would sit down and have a good heart to heart talk and discuss options with her. If you want to discuss this more I am here for you my friend.

 

Is that like where you use your fingers and stuff?

 

You need to get way, way better at eating her pussy.

 

You can't work on marital issues in individual therapy; it doesn't work that way. That's something you can only do together in couples counseling (I'm kinda surprised that your therapist hasn't broached this).
It takes two to tango.

 

Our heart to hearts helped, but not by creating a path to have more sex with her. It got us to the point where she just said that it would never happen again. She had no interest and she had no interest in my interest. BUT, she was open to me getting it from somewhere else. The rule was not to bring anyone home or anything (as in disease) home. In the years and years prior to that, we were both VERY active. She just hit that time in her life that put us out of sync. That was in 2008. She's very militant about anything to do with sex. No talking about it. No jokes that are sexual in nature. She'll change the channel if a nude or sex scene comes on so I have to carefully curate a movie before we watch it so I don't get accused of watching something with her that might lean towards sex. Learned to live with it. Not how we started out but you never know where life takes you.

 

IMO great advice Simon

 

Thank u just for fun....the OP was 2018 so hope they sorted better sex arrangements.

Simon

 

you guys are amateurs. I am married and havent had sex for 16 years. My wife and I have seperate bedrooms and she will never undress in front of me. No touching and no kissing.We have lived like brother and sister since about 2005

 

Does anyone here know what the foremost cause of divorce is ?

 

no. My wife hares sex,and I never had any affairs

 

See... I feel like your children are a blessing. They shine a lot of credibility on your marriage. Your intentions are clear, and the context of family allows you to internalize some very universally understood emotions, and really, augment your relationship.

But I didn't read the rest. That in and of itself tells me two things: 1) there is hope, and 2) you have experience.

 

Wrong...it's marriage

 

Marriage.

 

Are you married or happy?

 

Married. How can I be truly happy while my mate suffers?

 

Old three stooges joke....married or happy....

 

Marriage.

 

If one partner is satisfied with the current situation and the other isn't, divorce will be your only option.
Case in point:
I once wanted more sex while my wife was quite stubbornly content with less and less. I divorced her.
I found out years later that she was avoiding sex with her current boyfriend for a number of years.
I informed her that she was going to keep losing men if she kept doing that, as "Nobody needs to be married or shack up to practice celibacy".

Yeah, there is definitely a pattern to her behavior. You'll likely find the same with your wife, OP.