Making the effort to talk to girls

Well I was sat in the LRC today at college again (Tuesday) and I look ahead of me at times as I often do, and there was a girl there who was busy writing notes on A5 paper, and she sort of looked at me at first, and I thought she was quite pretty, and I looked ahead a few times and hoped for her to look back and then go and talk to her.

After 15-20 minutes, I went up to her table and asked her if it was alright for me to sit there, and she said Yes, but not without removing these yellow things from her ear - Her voice sounded as if she was a partially deaf person OR a person with a hearing difficulty and I felt stupid for it, but I sat there quietly for at least 20-30 minutes there then asked her if me sitting there was alright and again, she had to remove the ear blockers to hear what I was saying.

She was busy working, so I sat there looking down, hoping for an opportunity, but nothing came of it, so I decided that I was wasting my time and went and sat at another table by myself.

No-one can accuse me of not making the effort, and had it not been for her being busy working and with the hearing difficulty, i'd have loved to talk to her, but she seemed like she was busy and not in the least bit interested in me.

She's the sort of girl i'd talk to, and it's a shame that she had a hearing difficulty and I didn't know about it until I spoke to her.

Most of the other girls are confident, mouthy and just typical girls that are popular and they're not the sort i'm interested in, unless it was a really pretty girl.

 

Well?

 

well what? why would her being partially deaf make a difference? and why would she have to take yellow plugs out of her ears to HEAR you, I would think it would be the other way around... Maybe she was pretending she had a hearing problem because she didn't want to talk to you.

 

You're really good at making people feel bad and maybe I should applaud you for making me feel bad!!!??? - BITCH!!!

You're good looking on the outside, but as for you as a person, you're nothing but a bitch!!!

FUCK OFF!!!

 

geez, lighten up. I was just kidding. Sheesh.

 

Do not approach people with headphones in unless you know them.
People who are listening to music do not want to be bothered.
Nor do most people who are studying.

And the asking some 20min later if it was ok for you to be sitting makes you seem weird and insecure.

People who look busy usually are, it usually means they aren't available for conversation because they are busy doing something else. No biggie, just generally not the kind of person you want to approach out of the blue.

And you wonder why people don't like you, don't want to talk to you?

 

Well I guess it's an example of my stupidity

That's not fair - I was provoked!!!

 

am i the only one that is puzzled by the fact this fella has to put effort into talking to girls?

Hate to say it but maybe if girls are a task to talk to they're perhaps not your thing?

Seriously though, do you only talk to girls you want to fuck? what's so difficult about talking with girls? i tend to find conversation relaxing opposed too stressful, perhaps you try to hard, or maybe you're just gay?

 

It isn't about sex you moron and you obviously find it easy. I aint gay, and i'd rather kill myself than be gay. Also, gay is when two guys are attracted to each other, so don't start bullshitting me.

You're a knob just like the other typical lads - TOSSER!!!

 

If it isn't about fucking then what are you scared of? if you dont enjoy talking to girls and it isnt about fucking why bother?

I myself very much enjoy talking with girls, i enjoy their company but from your first post it sounds like it is alot of trouble for you, why is that?



P.S. im not a moron, i know what gay means ( you faggot ) im not like other "typical lads" believe me and yes i am a TOSSER!

 

Damn you'd rather kill yourself then be gay?

 

Yes I WOULD.

 

I'm not scared of anything Xac, and I DO enjoy talking to girls, but I don't want them to fuck them.

I mean i'd enjoy their company and talking with them, but certainly in my case talking with them is trouble - It's all about finding the right people and the right girls really.

Unfortunately, most girls are confident, cocky and i'm not good enough for them really, and I can't seem to find girls of my type, who are quiet, and very much like me - I know who I want to mix with and who I don't, and most of the people at college are the wrong sort for me to mix with really.

The lads and girls talk about each other behind their backs and make snide comments, and I don't want anything to do with people like that - I'm better off well out of it.

 

I don't normally post here, but here's my two cents:

I've felt Like Chris_1661 a few times and have learned a few things over the years. First, don't make rude or petty comments or act violently, you are better than that. If they make nasty/snide comments behind your back, ignore it and remember that they are petty people with small minds. Remember that you are the important person in your life and if people at college/university are bothering you, remove yourself from as many situations as possible where you must be around them.

As for finding females that are similar to you, my first question is what are your dislikes/likes and hobbies. If you like more quiet girls who like to read, try meeting girls at a public library, bookstore, or coffehouse. That was just one example. I personally like girls that enjoy games such as Dungeons and Dragons, etc. so I made friends by going to places where people congregate to play.

Lastly, as I previously stated, act the bigger person and ignore them! Don't engage them: "It is far better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then speak and remove all doubt."

Hope this helps. As someone who was ostracized for my hippieness at college, I know how ya feel.

 

Well if someone makes a snide comment or a group of friends do, i've thought about saying the following:-

"I've got something to say, and i'll make it short and quick- You lot don't realise how lucky you are. You lot don't have trouble making friends and have things that I don't, and the fact that you make fun of people that haven't got that just goes to show how sad you lot really are."

The thing is though, when I struggle to think of something to say back, I just don't say anything at all.

As for finding females that are similar to me, well I don't like girls that are really bright, bubbly, big, mouthy, confident, cocky, loud, untactful, too talkative and very outgoing.

I like girls that are smart, kind, fun, happy, serious, friendly, tactful, approachable and cute.

As for hobbies, I don't have any, and all I do when i'm not at college is stay at home and take each day as it comes and go on the PC and sometimes my games console (PS2).

 

smart, kind, fun, happy, cute girls are typicall confident, bright and often outgoing.

You want a woman who doesn't exist. And even if they did, why would they want to be with you? All you seem to do is get angry and feel violent towards others.

 

I never said that I don't want a woman who doesn't exist - I'd spend as much time with her as possible whenever were both free and not too busy, and i'd go down to the pub with her, cafe, restaurant or nightclub if she wanted and i'd talk to her and open up.

I don't know why they'd want to be with me, but i'm not all bad, and even if I felt myself getting angry, i'd warn her that sometimes I can become unstable and get angry at times, and I fear losing control and that triggers it off, but i'd never hurt you, and just hope she'll understand me.

A girl at college yesterday (Tuesday) said that she didn't like me, and I don't blame, and also, I don't exactly like her neither.

My social problems have become a real serious issue at college, whereas at school it wasn't so bad - Whenever i'm at college, i'm always like this, and it's being in that place that has got me like this in the first place.

There are times when I think about bringing in alcohol (3-4 bottles) and downing them one after the other and then throwing the bottles on the floor and walking out, or just stick them in my bag - The problem though is that the staff would get the police involved, i'd end up arrested for being drunk and disorderly and if my parents knew I was like this, they wouldn't be too happy.

I'm nearly 18 yrs old, and if i'm not careful (if I have a serious row or cause trouble) they can throw me out when i'm that age and then i'll be on the streets with nowhere to go, but i'd walk all the way to my grandparent's even though i'd take me hours, tell them the story and hope they'll understand.

These problems i've had weren't that big an issue when I was younger, but they're affecting me in later life (now).

 

Dude, I think you missed the point of my post. And, not to sound confrontational because I've felt the same way before, if you continue to be angry and carry anger in you, you will be a lonely old man.

 

I've only behaved like this since i've been at college, but once i'm out the place and in a proper stable job at work, this won't become an issue again, as i'll have a long-term job, keep myself busy and i'd be busy enough in a job that I wouldn't have time for all the chit chat.

The sooner i'm out of college, the better because all it ever does is get me like this.

 

smart guy.