im going through a lot right now and i have gone mad but i just need someone for advice. its hard for me right now
im just stressed my minds so preoccuppied with life and im trying to make ends meet lost all of my friends scared them away because i tried and nearly succeeded in killing myself and they think im mad because i came back changed but i used to put on "the face" use witty humor they considered me a comical genious, but when i act myself and show them things through a different light im a horrible friend. im not usually a jerk. i just act so against anyone i forget the word at the moment. confrontational-thats it because i look for good friends ones that are willing to put up a fight against me and stand up for what they believe in, in the end anyone i let in hurts or fucks me over. i dont have standards for people im an equal opportunity friend, but its actions that speak louder than words. they prove themselves. in the end im left alone with sleepless nights getting rejected by my family and friends i once had im really really really hurt but to busy trying to bring my life together i cant worry about my feelings. its driven me to maddness.
Try a long period of time with little to no friend socializing. It helps develop philosophies, and lets you come to ease with a hard life... as long as you are patient and relaxed. And by long period I mean over a year. It enlightened me... though I've been doing it for about.... 4 years.
