low self-asteem

I have no confidence when im around people that i dont know very well, and this prohibits me from making good first imrpessions. I dont joke around much, dont talk much, stay very quiet, and when people talk to me i cant converse in a normal fashion.
Are there ways to build up your self asteem or build confidence in yourself?

 

you may have a social-phobic issue. i do too. i don't really communicate wit much people in society. i find them to be complete assholes. i find that 95% of people that u will meet in life r assholes. if u care to talk feel free to pm me.

 

Me to.............I just try hard to get along well.Its just still really hard for me....

 

i want to hang out with new people though. THe ones i find are assholes i just stay away from.

 

Like, when people are leaving a party a kid will say "alright man take it easy" And i know this is the normal 'goodbye' kids give each other, but when i imagine myself saying it just feels weird. I dont have enough confindence in myself.

 

Honey, I know how you feel. Unless you feel you are strong enough to deal with this on your own, you're gonna need therapy and possibly medication. It's no biggie, It's just your life. Think about that.

 

I also reccomend ecstasy, if you dare. It's enlightening for some.

 

um, yeah.. I dont think he needs medication or do drugs...haha, but that was pretty funny..

Sounds like you are shy, imo...
I use to be shy and I just grew out of it one day.. When I started working and had to be around people all the time, I seemed to grow out of it and then found that I could just start conversations with strangers and it felt comfortable..
Just gotta relax and dont think that you sound dumb if ya say something, just dont worry about it as much..
but yeah, dont do X or get on meds...thats not the solution..

 

If you find any good answers, feel free to share them with me!!!!!

 

might have something to do with holding other peoples opinions of you too highly. and it's really weird that people who are so anti-social always claim not to care about what people think of them. but that's basically what it comes down to because if you don't think much of yourself, and think saying "easy man" will sound stupid coming from you, then you're basically saying people will think you're stupid and weird and you don't want that.

so it's got nothing to do with you being different but just don't mind what other people will think of you. if you meet somebody just act the way you want, keep quiet if you want, be yourself. when you go outside just take care of whatever it is you went out for and fuck all else.

 

you're very much not alone dude. Its really hard because you can never really be yourself when you meet people so you can't show them how great you are? that how I feel anyway.. I used to drink alcohol to let myself go, which was great till I got sick from drinking too much.
You can't use drugs to help this problem forever anyway. Try councilling. Otherwise you'll just have to live with it. The good people see thru it and they'll talk to you and give you the time of day anyway. Stay positive

 

The truth is you don't know who you are. You just need to find yourself, it's the only way...

 

ok, heres my advice

you WILL become more "normal" if you spend more time with people. you will hear words that may sound pertentious to you (like "take it easy", etc) a lot and will gradually start using them yourself without even noticing it. your very young, not even close to an adult. some people mature faster than others. you WILL change, just stay optomistic and let nature take its course

also, you may wanna try drinking. i dont know if youv started drinking yet, but youd be surprised how much more confident you become with even a little buzz. alcohol will allow you to meet new people by aiding social skills, and then afterwords you will remember what you were like when you were drunk and become more social when your sober

i think prescription meds are fucking dumb, and that therapy is probably unnecessary, but do what you gotta do. dont let this get you down. nothing is wrong, your just gonna have to wait a little to become more "normal". im a totally different person now at 21 then i was at 16

good luck buddy

 

i used to be like that, not so much anymore sense I moved to minnesota... now no one knows me, and everyone is forced to take me for face value... therefore I can be who I want... and now its been a ton easier to talk to women I hardly know, or anyone for that matter..

And the whole thing about ecstacy being enlightening for some is indeed true... the second time I did it, I did it with a good friend in a real good environment...very loving and we'd all give eachother masssages and just talk about whatever... really got rid of the wall that stood in front of me before when I had to talk to someone.. realized theres nothing to be afraid of anxious about..
Sounds kinda like axiety disorders.
Meds can help, but of course there are thosepeople who are against any sort of drug, and if you are one of them, than dont listen to me..
But they do make effective perscription drugs for people with anxiety problems... while everyone knocks them down and tells you not to do them, it might be the only way to really help assist you.

Its funny that people will tell you to drink while knocking ecstacy and perscription meds... taking x and meds will help you with your problems a lot more than drinking... drinking isnt the solution... drinking is a depressent, and for someone who already has anxiety problems, drinking will only lead to depression... and making decisions that you wouldnt normally do when you are sober... ecstacy is much better for these things considering it is 1. safer (if you know whats in the pill, pure uncut mdma), 2. not a depressent, 3. helps you let go of your inhibitions and 4. if in a good environment, it can help you realize there's nothing to fear, it can improve your relations with your friends as long as its a good environment... and perscription meds arent dumb there is tons of evidence and studies that show that the meds work for people who really have the problem.

 

X isnt that bad..
Hell when that guy on 20/20 did a special two hour program about it, he sounded like he wanted to do it

 

That is false. I dont know where you heard that from. X in its pure form (mdma) is relatively harmless as long as you do it intelligently (drink enough water, take vitamins, dont drink) and have healthy organs.

But I wouldnt expect a trip on e to cure anyone of their problems permanently, its just the whole experience ofb eing around friends while your all on e... everyone is so happy, peaceful, nice... and your sense of touch is enhanced... it just makes people open up to others easier... more so than alcohol.

But it shouldnt be seen as if its going to definitely work... it just does for some people... changes their view on life.

 

When i drink, i can go up to a group of people i dont talk to and make conversation and have fun. I get along with most people when i drink, but i dont think i should make it a habit to have a bottle of liquor with me whenever im at social gatherings

In some social situations, i over-think too many things. i think "will doing this make me look weird?" Instead of just acting like i am, i constantly think about my actions. So to try to prevent this, i tell myself "youre the only one in your head" I could be a step away from being psychotic =\. I guess this helps me because i feel that whatever i do im still the same person, no matter what other people see. But this isnt completely effective.

 

I find it really wrong that people are suggesting drugs as a solution to low self esteem!
Its one thing to experiment with drugs or even use them if you enjoy it. (preferably with a stable happy mindframe)
If anything, someone with low self esteem who takes drugs to overcome it is more likely to end up worse off than before!
It seems like some of you think because your hippies that drugs are the answer to every one of lifes problems..well I'll tell you thats bullshit and stop trying to spread your ideas onto others who actually might want to "DEAL" with their problems.