Is love really like a drug that someone can say 'I did it bc of love' and really be justified? (Justified only as if they were saying 'I did it bc of the alcohol') are bad decisions really bad decisions if you are doing it for love? If you had to choose between living a life of incredible joy with a side of guilt, or living an unfulfilled stable life, what would it be? Haha, obviously there's more detail to my line of questioning, but I'm hoping to discuss this as objectively as possible. I'm not so much looking for advice (still want it and appreciate it), but I'm looking for more other people's thoughts and views on these questions. Oh, and what if something that would mAe you very happy would cause horrible rifts between those whose concern themselves where they shouldnt be concerned? Please discuss
What about living a life of incredible joy with no guilt? Not sure what you are trying to ask here? As far as the I did it because of alcohol excuse that is a big pile of crap. If a person can't control what they do when they drink they shouldn't drink.
I mean if someone were to say 'I did it for love', would that be as rediculous as someone saying 'I did it bc of alcohol'. What I'm getting at here is that my current bf probably isn't soulmate material. There are things I want in life that he doesn't, but instead of merging both our dreams into one, he is only concerned with his own priorities, which puts ALL of mine on the back burner. But it's not like he's doing anything to reach his goals. Last year my brother died and I was diagnosed with an illness. I realized too life is short to live for someone else. My family loves him, and I doubt they would support me, especially my dad who is as oppressive as my bf tends to be. I didn't mean to go into so much detail, I just started typing and it all came out. I'm sure the answer is logical enough, leave him. I just wanted thoughts thanks for sharing
Well yes my answer would be to leave him then! If you are not happy don't stay for other people, you should only stay for yourself. If you don't have kids then even better reason to go. It will only get harder to leave if you do settle and have kids.
Yes...I guess the trick is to convince myself that it would be worth it to break his heart for me to be truly happy. I've lived years like this, I can't imagine giving up EVERYthing for the rest of my life. The thing is, I've talked to him about all our problems for years, he says things, they never happen, and I can't seem to see through the bs on his one. I just don't want to think I have GIGS about this. I've had GIGS before, this is more like a depressive rut.
Understandable, most people find change of any kind hard. We tend to get set in our ways and patterns and find comfort in predictable situations...even if those predictable situations suck or are potentially harmful to us. (sidenote: this is a driving force why many people in abusive relationships find it hard to leave, be it emotionally abusive and/or physically abusive) In your case, sound like he just is not a man of his word. If it's anything more than that then that is harmful that IS your justification to leave for sure. But in the end, your own unhappiness your justification, you're not married to the guy even so you're free to breakup and get with someone new at will. In this case, you are not responsible for the emotions of another person in your quest for happiness. That person is responsible for their emotional endurance providing that you aren't being sadistic and being intentionally cruel about how you breakup.
