Love two people

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by mary0229, Jan 2, 2005.

  1. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    I can't explain that, I love two people.
    Really differently, but I love two guys a lot.
    One, was macho and have a differently vision of love, educaton, friendship and life that I have difficulty to support when I was officialy whit him because I can see do my life whit him.So, we was friend, but strangly friend, we don't sleep together but was really next one of other.We have a really good complicity and can resist to hung and to kiss us. We see like a really couple, but when we really was togeher it dont work. We love us, but can't be togeher.So, he is me friend, but to familiar that I can have a boyfriend.
    The problem was there.I love a other guys, I was really attract by him, i can talk to him of all my problem, but necessary, He don't accept that a other guys was there.
    I was really confusing I can't thinking that I really love two guys.
    I need your opinion

    P.s. If it's have some error on my message it's because I'm not exactly bilingual and I prefer to talk in french

    P.s.² If some of you can read in french, that a article on this subjet
    http://www.doctissimo.fr/html/sexualite/mag_2002/mag0621/se_5634_marie_deux_amours.htm


    thank of your help!
     
  2. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    I want to specify that the other boy, was not just a "love" ,like a "KIck". He is really important for me. I know him last year and it's always a power out of my force that unit us.I can't explain it.It's just like that and I can't do something for that. But how to explain that to the two buys that were so important for me.....
     
  3. Fallen_stars

    Fallen_stars Member

    First, you should know that you will have to take a decision and that decision must be taken seriously but as quickly as possible. I have already live a situation like in your situation, I was one of the poor guy and God it was suffering. You want to give all of your soul to the girl but you can't cause if she don't choose you you'll die, and on the other hand, you love her so much that you can't run away. You can't run away and think that maybe you have lost the girl of your life. Fortunately in my case, the girl choose me and now we live a wonderful love story.

    But just an advice: Think twice before building and destroying someting, you can kill people. But if you are honnest to yourself and with the two guys by not telling them lies about there chance, it will be ok. Any guy will accept your decision, it's your right to live your life with who you want. But don't play with people, take a decision with all honnesty to your heart and soul and respect it....

    love and respect
     
  4. artful_dodger

    artful_dodger Member

    Mary- No insight on your situation, but I just wanted to say: your English is most certainly better than my French!
     
  5. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    thank you, my dictionnary help me a lot, because my big problem in english is that I don't have a big vocabulary, so i always said : how we said that in english...

    For my situation, I still search. I talk to a friend who is outside of the situation to have a objective vision on that, by a people who don't juge me.
    I said that, it's because I have a other friend who just juged me when I have tried to explain him and that make me feel really bad. I don't want to be juged, I am already tuff with me and I can cavil me alone.I just need help and I want to know it's me or it can exist to love two people....
    The most people just can said to me that I have to choose, that I know it's like that in us society, but does it can exist somewhere else?
    I don't talk about polygamy, I would told about love, real love.
     
  6. Fallen_stars

    Fallen_stars Member

    But in polygamy, it's real love too you know....I don't want to preach polygamy cause I'm not polygame myself, but I'm sure that the guy who have a lot of woman, he loves them all but for different reason.

    love and respect :)
     
  7. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    the principe of polygamy it's to have wifes to prepare food and to do dishes. They need a wife to keep house and the most time they never see there wife before mary her. The girls are promised when they are really young. That it's not love, they need those women for ther house and for satisfy there instinct. The most of time, womens are consider inferior and are on order of there husband. It' not that thinks that I can consider of love ...
     
  8. Fallen_stars

    Fallen_stars Member

    Polygamy is not necessary associate with forced marriage. I mean if I decide to live my life with two or three wifes in my house just because I want that and they want that too, I don't see the problem. And It is polygamy...:rolleyes:
    anyway it is offtopic so let's concentrate on the subject of the thread..

    love and respect to you my dear beauty....
     
  9. Elle

    Elle Senior Member

    I never thought it was possible to be in love with two guys at once.....I was wrong:& And because I acted on emotion and didnt think about my actions, I got myself into a big mess and hurt two people who I really cared about. If I can offer you any advice it would be to put your emotions aside and use your mind to make any choices instead of your heart. Usually I say go with your heart, but in a situation like yours, where it involves other peoples feelings, you should think about whatever you are doing. Good luck to you!
     
  10. steffan

    steffan puffin

    well i ve never heard a love poem saying they or them
     
  11. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    love poem are in dream, not in reality...
    do you even see a poem who told about real fact who happends in relationship.
    they always explain what it's "supposed" to happend, but in reality does it's sometime happend like that?
    You know they often talk about two people that was falling in love at the first look and who are getting together immediately.They kiss and tenderly make love.
    But in fact, it's not that easy.You know, just to make love, it's not just to put something on a hole, you know it's sometime difficult to align and it's not always a marvel like what they want to tell us. Relation isn't as elementary.
    Peoms are in dream because reality is less interesting.
     
  12. Fallen_stars

    Fallen_stars Member

    lol...In fact your case is really complicated, but in general I would say yes it's not like in poem but it's way far more easier.....I think that by gaining more maturity in life we learn what we want. Being in relation with someone is more a question of timing than any other thing, if the timing is right, you could have love all the guy in town, you will get in relation with that guy in particular and maybe it will last long and maybe not. Loving someone is easy (very easy, you just have to concentrate on the fact that you love the person for a little time and..wow you're in love! Any psychologist will say that and it's the same for hate), getting in relation is easy BUT having a big and real physical attraction (like connection) and a long lasting stable relation is something that go higher than just loving someone. It's the timing and also a question of higher connection with that people......

    'You can't always get what you want' (rolling stones)


    love and respect
     
  13. kindwoman

    kindwoman Sista Golden Hair

    I also love 2 guys right now, but one is online whom I've never met, the other one lives here in my town. It makes it easier that way.
     
  14. raven23

    raven23 Member

    I'll be blunt. Like many of us, you have a tendancy for polyamoury. Not polygamy. That's marriage. Polyamoury, as you know being french, means many love. there are many different ways to be polyamourous. Some people have two or more partners. Some have a partner and other people who they are intimate with, but don't have sex with. Many don't even realize they are polyamourous. Society doesn't present it to them as an option. They try to be monogamous, with disasterous results. Thing is, we can't help who we love. Someone who decides to be polyamourous needs to be honest with the people they are involved with, that's key. And unfortunately, people who are polyamourous are best to not choose partners who are not. That is trouble as well. It's not easy, but there is a growing community of support, and it's nothing to feel ashamed about . It's not like being a mormon and having sub-servient lives. check out www.lovingmore.com
     
  15. Fallen_stars

    Fallen_stars Member

    In fact if you want polyamoury to work you must talk about 'open relationship'..there is already a thread about that here:http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58307 so I'm not gonna say my opinion about that here...I'm open to that..don't want them thought. But for me it's question of choice...I'm sure everybody here can love more than one person at a time....and I'm sure everybody do.....I mean if you have the chance to have a date with the girl you want (and that you love), you'll probably have more than one choice...and then you'll choice in regard of other aspect like physical attraction,connection with the person and such...For sure if we were all true to our heart, we should all get in an 'open relation' but that's a choice and for me the heart is not the answer of all so I'll take the answer of both my mind and my heart..and my mind tell me 'no open relationship'..but I really respect that..That's my thought about that (Doh!...:rolleyes: )...

    love and respect
     
  16. raven23

    raven23 Member

  17. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

  18. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    For the rest, I know that I "choose" to be whit someone, but the problem was that all the two people that I love, can't just thinking that I love someone else if I am with them also if I the other keep away. I know, I can easily be just friend, platonic relation, with one of them, but even all that, the other can't give security and always thinking that I lie upon my relation with the other..
    I'm in a deadlock and I can't be in no case with one of them. I hsve to be alone and lets spend the time. I think that it's the best thing to do.
     
  19. steffan

    steffan puffin

    maybe im too much of a romantic,
     
  20. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    it's not failing to be romantic.........
     

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