Losing Who????

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by **pinchy**, Jan 22, 2005.

  1. **pinchy**

    **pinchy** Member

    SOME PEOPLE SAY TIME IS ALL YOU HAVE
    BUT NOT ME. I AM GROWING AND I DONT
    HAVE MUCH TIME. SLIENT TREATMENTS
    I CANT HANDLE. THERE IS TIMES WHEN I
    DONT EVEN GET A HEY AND THATS ALL I
    WANNA SAY, BUT INSTEAD ALL YOU DO IS
    WALK AWAY. IT HURT A LOT BUT I SAY NO
    WORDS, ONLY IN THE WORD I WRITE. YOU
    CANT SEE IT HURT ON THE OUTSIDE BUT IF
    YOU LOOK DEEP IN MY EYE, YOU SEE IM
    CRYING. ITS ONLY BEEN A LITTLE BIT IF
    TIME BUT IT FEEL LIKE YEARS OF PAIN.
    SOME TIMES I FEEL LIKE I GOING INSANE
    ALL I SEE IS BLACK THUNDER AND RAIN
    "I SAY HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME?"
    "CAN YOU SEE ME?" I FEEL LIKE I GET
    NO ANSWER. SLOWLY NO ONE CAN SEE ME
    CAUSE I AM DISAPPERING BECAUSE IM LOSING
    ME.
     
  2. kidder

    kidder Member

    That's a powerful first line and it's a lead to an equally powerful theme. Your poem is a commentary on the human identity: We are what people allow us to be. But is that enough? And your poignant closing also suggests the question- why are we dependent on the opinion of others? You can only lose 'me' if you allow others' needs and views to be more important than your own. Don't. It's as heartfelt a poem as I've seen here in quite awhile!
     
  3. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

    Nice poem, your emotions speak to me. Peace and love...
     
  4. **pinchy**

    **pinchy** Member

    Thank you guy for replying to my work.Kidder thanks alot for your word really made me think. Well keep a lookout i have more coming.
     
  5. hip_peace

    hip_peace Senior Member

    really ,Nice poem
     

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