Long-term relationship sexual arrousal issues

So i've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years and still feel like i will marry this girl in the near future. Lately i've had some serious erection issues that i have never had before, and it really stresses me out because i have way less sex drive now knowing that every time i get into sex, i have been losing my erection very easily. Psychologically, even thinking of having sex now i have been too worried to even get a boner.

I'm 21, not stressed easily and i get enough sleep, so i know it cant be health related. i will say i have been an avid porn watcher since a was a kid which sucks but i cant help it. I'm not too crazy of a watcher but i do watch every couple days. I can achieve decent erection through that.

Don't get me wrong, but some random days i go crazy and we seriously have a good time, but its very odd now and fluctuates too much, and it is driving me crazy. I don't want to put excuses as to how i cant even please my girlfriend sometimes, and i want to solve this issue.

Help me HipForums!

 

Stop watching porn.

Your brain is probably expecting higher and higher standards of erotic performances to cause you to get into a state of mind to cause and maintain an erection.

 

Could it be that you have sexual wishes which you are reluctant to talk about with your girlfriend?

And couldn't it be that you just need another woman?

 

It could be from the porn, I doubt it though. When I was your age I watched porn everyday. If I wasn't masturbating I was having sex everyday. Never had a problem with erections for that reason. I'm thinking it might be something's bothering you whether you believe it or not. The most stupid thing can effect how you are in the bedroom, and now it's your lack of confidence. Alcohol could play a factor also, if you are drinking. Try to keep a clear head and don't think about your erection. I'm sure we all get in a bit of a slump from time to time, just everyday activities can take a toll on us.

 

It's nothing to do with porn... that's feminist bullshit. Most guys see tons of porn and never have erection problems. Sounds like are less attracted to her now than before... maybe she gained weight or doesn't take care of herself. Or maybe you just got bored. IDK. I DO know that worrying about it is the worst thing you can do and will cause it happen more. Most girls get off better with fingers and mouths than erections anyways so you shouldn't feel you have to perform for her or something.

 

Yeah, stop watching porn

 

I have been in two what I would kind of consider 'long term' relationships and both times I've found that I get bored after a few months. Thus leading to my eventual loss of interest in a sexual relationship altogether leading to difficulty in maintaining an erection without serious concentration and use of my imagination. I put this down to a combination of my youth and societal attitudes. Because it is exceptionally late I won't elaborate on this point as of yet however you may want to consider that your best course of action could potentially be a 'break' of sorts where you don't see each other for a month or so. Should you find yourself not missing the female in question then I think you've found your answer as to the solution, in contrast if you find that you cannot go a day without thinking about her I can next to guarantee your sex life will likely spice up at least for a wee while. I'm no love guru, this is just 3:32am speculation but I hope my ramblings provide some help for you.

JimJamm eace:

 

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

 

Good post OP and here's a couple things food for thought wise...

1. 4 years is not a lot, I know you consider it long term as you're only 21. But obviously being with the same person where things get repetitive is just a fact of life. We like to think we can spruce things up, different outfits, different situations & places and that does work to some degree, but overall and at the end of the day you're hitting the same thing that you hit 4 years ago. And I have news for you, as time goes on, she's only going to look older and maybe gain some pounds. And then there's kids (oh my!!!). So now that I've painted this morbid picture for you, here's what can be done.

2. Viagra is pretty damn cool. Similar to you I went through a few ups & downs (pun intended) and figured, why not try something else, and this was a few years back when Viagra first hit the market. Boy I have to tell you the shit works, least it did for me. I got my doctor to prescribe me prescriptions, and I pretty much got the highest dose, and then cut or bit little sections off those pills (basically turned one pill into 4-5) and the shit would work for a few days too. OMG not only would I stay rock hard, but I'd be able to cum and stay hard after too, at that point I was only limited by my own stamina. In the long run whatever short lived erectile dysfunction I had went away and my doctor said the Viagra might help with that, so I haven't done it in years actually. But I certainly recommend giving it a try, only side effects I got was flushness in the face, sometimes a headache (so I'd double up with Advil as well) and a raging hard-on that could pound nails.