long distance college relationships... advice please

So my boyfriend and I are in love but today I just moved into my dorm at college so we are now and hour and a half away from each other. We decided to do the whole long distance thing b/c an hour and a half away isn't too bad. We have agreements like no drinking around the opposite sex and stuff like that. However, I'm afraid I'm going to have a hard time socializing because I was already invited to a frat party today and I know I can't go b/c there will be a lot of drinking and a lot of boys. Has anyone had this issue or has anyone not been a partier and found other ways to enjoy themselves at college? Please give me any advice you have

 

That's stupid. Why can't you drink around guys? I mean, if you don't trust yourself and each other to not jump on someone else when you're drunk.. well that's not a good sign of the state of your relationship.

 

not trying to be rude, but you only live once... you're only going to be in college once... and who's to say this boy is the one for you? unless it's you being attached to him, I say you tell him you're YOUNG and want to have fun and meet everyone you can while in college. and that includes partying. if his mind isn't open, he's not worth dating

:cheers2:

 

well said priss

 

I've done the long distance thing, we lived about 2 hours appart. Having a rule where you cant drink is just silly. That sounds like a bit of a trust issue. He should trust you even when you're appart. Maybe try to explain to him that you want to be able to have friends and socialize as well as have a boyfriend. It might be a hard conversation to have, but later on in your relationship those kind of 'rules' can cause a lot of anguish. Good luck.

 

I would suggest open-communication
If he expects you to tell him what goes on there expect it back
If hes drinking
why not you drink .
Plz a guy not drink thats like saying a guy going w/o sex hahahah
try verbalizing how you feel and
why you feel that way w/o insulting him .
Write him love letters w/o notice
Email

 

what is easier is an open relationship. If you're truly in love than its alright to flirt and play with other guys. i mean its college! then you wont get attached to another guy. having the non drinking rule is silly. Im different though. I dont even pay attention to guys or drinking in college. just my studies. but oh well.

 

seriously... what is going to happen when you're guy isn't there anymore? Gonna regret not taking advantage of meeting others, going to parties, etc. that you passed up. Also, going to a frat party doesn't mean you necessarily are going to automatically end up having drunken sex with some guy there. Go and have fun, meet others, and keep your guy in mind. that's all there is to it.

 

its not like your going to get hammered? just drink a few beers....and if he cant trust you, then im sorry you should break it off with him. that is a silly, silly rule.. college is way more fun than that...not that i encourage drinking at all....i just think if you feel like going out with your girls to a party and drinking then, thats just about what every college girl wants to do....whats the problem?? and if your wasting it away for him (i guarentee you hes gonna be drinking too), you might miss out on meeting some really cool, interesting people (not at a frat party lol...sorry frat guys)

 

You're only 18 once. You should be able to have other friends. You can hang out with other people without cheating on him. And if you find someone who's more interesting, that's okay. That's what college is about is exploring your options. When I was in college, I was very interested in exploring my alcohol/drug/guys options. It was way fun. I wish I was 20 yrs younger now. lol.

 

Hiya Ladybrunette

I happen to be one of those odd creatures who genuinely can't stand the taste of alcohol. So for me perhaps being in your situation wouldn't be much of a struggle. I'd bring my own favorite drink, and be with everyone anyway.

I was engaged at 16 years old, and went off to college (well, and eloped) while still a teen. If you & your sweetie are committed to each other, you will BOTH find a way to stay true to each other - whatever that may mean to each other. This can also be a time when you both find out how much you both DO mean to each other, as you both discover that "being true" might mean skipping out on a few parties that you would otherwise go to. If he means this much to you, I'd do ANYTHING to let him know that... but I would also expect the same of him.

What can you do at college, without alcohol/boys? Every college-town I've been in has more than their share of coffeehouses... that serve more than just coffee, and MOST of them I've seen also have some sort of nightly entertainment.

Another "trick" I learned while in college was that if you bake something in your dormroom & leave the door propped open, you can make friends FAST! Even something as simple as chocolate-chip cookies or banana bread will bring you tons of tentative friends.

Then there are the games. Choose a sport or two you might enjoy watching, and show your support by cheering them on. I know that in my college, the hockey team was absolutely hysterical to watch & my roommates and I would go even to their practices, to escape studying for an hour each day. Likewise, if you're interested in something specific you could always join a club. I realize a lot of people see this as "cheesy" at best, but it IS fun, and is a great way to meet people QUICKLY with similar interests. Clubs aren't only for math & chess freaks, anymore

I'm sure there are other ways as well - these are just the few I could think of off the top of my head. Good luck!
love,
mom

 

hahahaha thats what I was thinking (frat party??) no no no. Just a nice chill party where you meet interesting people. And who knows, you could be just sitting in class one day and meet an interesting one

 

you guys should split.
stop talking on the phone every single night
and meet new people.

 

I'm doing the whole long distance thing with my boyfriend of 6 years right now too. I moved 3 and a half hours away to be closer to my family and make more money, and he stayed to finish this semester of college and then is moving here. And its hard don't get me wrong, just keep in touch with him and try to see him as much as you can. As far as things to do to have fun without partying, what are other things you enjoy? I do a lot of shopping, spend lots of time at the lake, just stuff that preoccupies my time.