I've recently found out I'm asexual. I'm a guy and it's always been this way but I've been pushing to be normal my whole life so sleeping with women was just kind of what I did even though generally did not enjoy it. I've figured it out with assistance from my ex girlfriend who, after a struggle, is now a very close friend to me. She seemed to have figured something about me was off a while ago and just brought it up recently that she thinks I'm asexual. I'm not gay, but I have no sexual desire for women. I can have a relationship but as soon as sex or anything physical (even making out) comes into play, I just kind of get repulsed. Think of it as a straight guy kissing another guy, it just feels unnatural. When I sleep with a woman I feel like it's wrong. I could just as easily sleep with another guy, however I would be equally as repulsed by it. I've just gotten used to having sex with women and burying any shameful feeling I get. My question, has anyone had experience dating an asexual, or is anyone here asexual? I know some asexuals don't even have an emotional attachment to others, but for the ones that do how does it work? How do I go about finding a partner that feels the same way as me. I keep having these feelings that I'm not straight.. because even though technically I am, technically I'm also not. Does anyone know of some forums or chat rooms, or dating sites or anything that caters to asexual people? I've done a few searches and have yet to find anything. If you're not 100% sure what asexual means, please don't bother.. and also it isn't just a phase. Sorry, I'm just tired of trying to explain it to people that can't comprehend it.
i don't personally know anyone who is asexual, but i have definitely heard of it..keep looking and im sure you can find something..
what are you looking for? You want an activity partner? a cuddle buddy? a best friend? these will not be so hard to find. If you want the exclusiveness and intimacy of a relationship without any kissing/sex that will be harder. Physically contact has always acted as a grounding mechanism. We are connected to who we shared are bodies with, it's standard average behavior. (no judgement just a declaration of observations) at least you can look at both men and women because if it isn't sexual a man may be that missing companion. but of course this all depends on what are you looking for?
I am looking for a relationship.. The difficult kind. Like it has to be a woman.. I don't feel emotionally that way with men, I am straight. I don't enjoy sec but if I love a woman in willing to do it.. It's not wonderful but I'm willing if she needs it. Problem is women generally prefer a man to initiate it. Also as a side note, I've become really confused as to how I will know if I'm in love now.. Before I just assumed it would be when I am comfortable sleeping with a woman but since I've come to realize that can't happen, how can I tell the difference between being a girl's best friend and really close partner and being in love but not sexually attracted to her? Being asexual am I incapable of truly being in love?
Does that mean that you don't masturbate or find anything erotic and arousing? Because if you do, I wouldn't call you asexual.
Hmm I kind of feel the same way except I am female and I thought I was just straight up until this last break up or more or less was trying to convince myself. But there is really nothing very appealing about sex to me and I suck at pretending there is...I think this might be part of the reason my past relationships did not work out. I mean hell I find it rather nasty when other people are going at it like on movies or too much making out in public or whatever...why would I feel that way if i actually enjoy it? But yeah I don't really have much advice as I have only just been realizing this about myself.
I'm not asexual but I do have a very low sex drive. It takes a toll on my relationship since I never want to do anything and my boyfriend always wants to do things. So, I can sort of understand how difficult it is. Also, I am positive you can experience being in love while being asexual. : ) You'll know when you feel it. It's a rare thing, so don't doubt yourself if it doesn't happen soon.
Back in October of 1998, my heart and really a deep inner part of me was broken. It doesn't matter now how, really...but suffice it to say that the person suddenly left me, no fights, no nothing. They didn't die (that would have been easier for me, I am certain) and it literally took me years to feel right... to not feel broken, or think of his sorry butt at some time in the day.I only had sex the next year and a little into the new (2001) year so JACKASS would not be the last one I was with! THAT would have just been wong on every level, I felt - and still do. The act itself was ok - much younger dude, thinking he was a stud, etc. lol But he was a lot more impressed with himself than I was. Anyway... It has been since 2001 that I have had sex with another human being - I do have a boyfriend, BOB (my battery operated boyfriend), if that isn't tmi. Anyway, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever for a physical relationship with a man. None. Whatever makes a person want to have sex with another person (gay or straight) got broken in me, and I truly do feel asexual. I have felt this for a while. I never discuss this, because either it is not believed or they think I'm just fishing for a blind date, or something. I can't believe I even responded to this...but just know that there are others who, for various reasons, feel asexual. I am happy with myself, and really have no desire to change.
I masturbate, and sometimes I feel aroused.. but I have a separation between my mind and sex. I have no desire to act on any arousal because I don't like sex. Masturbating is basically a chore, I do it just because I feel a need to. I prefer not to have any sort of physical relationship with another person. This takes a toll on anyone I date because they feel unattractive, and insecure about themselves. Not many people quite understand what it is to be asexual.. It doesn't mean we don't necessarily have arousal it means we simply don't care to act on it because we don't have sexual tension and the thought of sleeping with someone is just unappealing. It's almost impossible to explain to someone that's sexual, therefore relationships are fuckin hard to maintain.
That's just it, I feel like others view me as broken but I have no desire to change. I'm glad I don't want sex, being a guy it is a blessing to me not to think with my dick all the time. Only problem is, most women crave sex. I didn't realize how important it was to most women because we're used to hearing men are the dogs that will stop at nothing to get laid when in reality women won't stop at much. The ONLY thing that concerns me is how difficult it's proving to be to actually find someone that feels the same.. it narrows down the amount of fish in the sea drastically. It seems unlikely I will be able to feel love the same way a sexual person does, and it does suck having to break hearts or having my heart broken over stupid sex.
