Life in about 2 months...Please everyone read

Alright. over the past 18 years of my life i have lived in a home with boundaries on every aspect of life. Boundaries on the feelings i could feel, the words i could say, the life i could live. Trapped. As if every aspect of my life was directed and shaped by my parents minds. this is not the way to live. It is not right to shape people into something they are not. The role in their place should be to guide me on my path to enlightenment of my true self, rather than put it infront of me and force me to comply. Reacently fights and arguements have been forming. They have been talking to me more and more about my life and arguing even more. Then they found out a smoked marijuana again. Now to me its all personal preferance with the lifestyle you choose to pursue. And i understand its their role as parents to guide me on my path to what they feel is right, but they are now basically telling me that once i graduate from high school on May 29th, im gone...i need to find somewhere to live because their not having me in their home and their not paying for my college. SO. There is it. From now until then i have to find a way of life.

For the past year ive thought deeply into communal living. Sounds like the lifestyle in which i feel i can be free to be myself, whomever it may be. That ive always wanted to live in an environment of true bond, with my fellow man and nature. Get back to the true meaning of life and the true meaning of what it is to live it. Now i live in the southern area of Texas. Houston to be exact, and the way of life here is the big city type. Wake up, go to work, take your lunch break, come home, eat, sleep and do it all over again in the morning. As if their preparing for something thats going to happen, when all along is occuring. This is wrong. As wrong as wrong could be. Life should not and wasnt mean to work a 9 to 5 day job in which you work at the same place, and do the same thing, each and every single day, and live nothing more than to just work...its just not meant to be this way. And my parents seem to think it is. Anyways i want to leave. well im sure id have to but i truely want to. Anywhere to be exact. I want to find some form of non profit economical commune, in which you live on the grounds and farm your food and land. Based souley on the earth and its gifts to you in life. Im not sure if this is a very hard thing to find, but im determined. I want to live. In a way im sure many people have, but i wish to do so as well. I want to live. I want to be free. And more of all..i want to be happy. If anyone could help me out in anyway please be sure to reply or send me a PM. Thank you so very much.

 

Okay young brother, prepare to have your mind blown.....since you sound like an exceptionally awesome young man, i will do for you what i did for brother Wanderingturnip today...give you some insight. (Please go to the *Keanua Otter* post in the Rainbow Family section for today and read his...) anyway, this is from the same collection of devine wisdom... I write this verbatem...from reading your above post, it just gives me warm fuzzy chills! And remember, at 18, you are a Man and do not need mom and dad to do anything for you. But for future reference as to what they need to learn about you, copy and paste this and email it to your mom!...re-read it many times and go get his (Gary Goldshneider's) books!!!...when you are running your commune, it will come in handy to truely understand your members! here goes...
June 30 "THE DAY OF MOTIVATION"
It is extremely difficult to get June 30 people to do something toward which they are not personally motivated. Those born on this day are usually of two types, introvert or extrovert, both of whom have highly personal goals. Their world is indeed a private one to which few are admitted. More introverted June 30 people will most often manifest a lifestyle in which they stick close to home (often working out of their own house). Their lives are so well circumscribed that favorite haunts are basically just an extension of the home situation~safe, secure known. More extroverted June 30 people people may appear to be mild-mannered until the reveal themselves in a performance situation. Here they must be careful that their flamboyance does not get out of control.

Almost all June 30 people have highly developed technical talents, even to the point of virtuosity.They make formidable opponents, rarely at a loss to defend themselves, this ability however is most often exclusively mental or physical. More introverted June 30 people must beware of a tendency to repress their aggressions. Often those born on this day are unable to express their feelings out of a fear they will injure themselves or someone else.

A more extroverted June 30 person expresses his/her aggression, being extremely competitive, but runs the risk of becoming violent: such a person is a fascinating but dangerous adversary. Pardoxically, however,when these extroverts are alone with those they are comfortable with, or publicly engaged in discussion, they can give the appearance of passivity or docility.

Both types of June 30 people frequently appear to be other than what they really are, depending on the situation, who is present and their moods, which are generally more severe in men than women born on this day.This quality may make them somewhat mysterious. Because those born on this day are often unknown, even to themselves, they will benifit from self-examination.

June 30 people have an undeniable talent for handeling money, whether their own or others.Their astute financial sense most often attracts others to them and puts them in a position to give helpful advice. They are extremely sharp in making cost calculations, thus maximizing profit while minimizing expense.

The personal motivation at work in June 30 people often manifests in a hobby or out-of-the-way pursuit which interests them still more than their own profession, and they will not be hesitant to pour unlimited energy into this area. When, however, they are in touch with their environment, and the wishes of others, they can also be valuable contributors to society at large. Those born on this day should actively seek out activities involving trust, give and take and social exchange. Because June 30 people will only let very few into their private world, being chosen as their friend can be a true compliment.

~~~~~~~
I know that you are on the right path and your situation with *the folks* is just pushing you out there to get it done. The world needs you and your plan!!! So have complete and total faith in yourself!!!! I look forward to learning more of how you progress and i'm sure these kind members do too, so go out there and make your world live!!! You were born to do it!!!

 

ps..*sticking close to home* and creating your own living commune, to me are one in the same...living, really living life, surrounded by love and family, as your work and main life interest...but of your own making and crafting.

 

i just looke up your *Path Of Destiny*, and yes, there it is again....you are on the Path Of Discovery....it's description is lengthy, but states clearly that you were BORN TO DO WHAT you are seeking now to do...to it is all so clearly amazing! i am so happy for you! You will feel the burden of your fears lift when you read this! Let me know and i will type it out for you. It is really awesome! You on on your way!!! Hurray for you and your dream!!

 

wow....that is all so true...i never knew something could be so correct. the only thing that wasnt too accurate was the money part. For me. id rather live without it. I really really really hate having to strive and put myself in a position to be unhappy all to just get a few peices of green printed paper. i have never let money take hold of the drive in my life. But yea anyways. im not really looking so much to start a commune, but to join one. Im really not too sure i have what it could take for me to start up a commune but id really like to join an established one with a very nice lifestyle of nature and love. Im not too sure where to go from here but id love some help.

 

Well, you are off to a great start. Just let your folks read your day and it can help them support you with good vibes. I am glad that you are open to discovery of your inner self...if you can invest in these three books, they will serve you for a lifetime, understanding yourself and others...i can't emphasize how useful they are...just go down to your local B&N take a peek at the rest of your info....your path of destiny is really intense concerning your goals...as i mentioned...you are set to be of significant help to society and pioneering a new way of living...for yourself and others. This will also help you in your relationships...it is indespensible.

In the meantime, it would not surprise me if your parents calm down considerably and just start to accept your ideas...perhaps investing in your ventures if you pursue alternative living lifestyles that focus on sustainable, solar energy, organic farming, wholistic health etc...and if you present it to them as a viable *industry*, which it is, which can eventually support you financially, which it can, they may get excited too and really start to back you. There are countless programs going on out there in this field by dedicated people that are making a huge improvement to the earth and humanity. Your parents just don't have the info right now, not exposed to the vast field of professional services out there for wholistic living....that is what you can do for them...turn them on to it! Who knows, they may even get on your bandwagon and chage their entire lives too. I get the feeling your mom, while conventional on the surface, is actually kind and cool and has the ability to see things your way...she can become enthusiastic and then convince your dad....you just have to present it to them in an exciting way, that focus's on the entire "industries" growth....something that a college education can help you attain...not that that is what you want right now, but i think you know what i mean. And as you reach out to communities, you will come in contact with multitudes of *achievers*...builders of off-the-grid-housing, water systems, organic farming etc. Maybe your dad will retire and do something like this too! I sense BIG changes about to happen in your family as a result of this in positive ways! I would love to know if my perceptions are right on this so keep me posted! Thanks!

 

Dude come up to maine, seriously Im sure we'd have some righteous times, Im rather in the same boat, besides for the fact my parents were willing to pay for my college yet I told them they could keep the money as it is what they abandoned their families to chase they may hopefully realize how hollow a peice of paper can be now that they see it cannot buy will, probably not though. Either way Im rather in the same boat Im leaving for Maine right after graduation this year and building like a basterd for about 35 days for as long as you have a few motivated hands cob goes up rather quickly it would seem.
Im sure as far as food goes for the first bit you could get a part time job in Dover-Foxcroft for it is a fair sized town, and if I can get one I certainly wouldn't leave ya hanging. Self sufficiency certainly is a goal, but realistically it takes much time and thought so we'll probably end up dealing with that gradually.

Peace!

 

what do you mean about the self sufficiency part

 

I mean you could sustain yourself financially+agriculturally all off of the community and practices such as selling excess harvest, I beleive willpower would like to give profiting off garlic a try and ironically enough it is my favorite spice on about everything so I think we'll be given that one a shot, blancing proteins, nuts would take a while to yeild though, and growing perenials with a good vitamin content, blueberries will grow well in Maine and have a decent amount of Vitamin C. This is the sort of thing self sustanance is all about. The reason this can be a very important goal is because in doing so we become a stronghold apart from the industrial dependent way of life, almost like a sort of bombshelter from economic implosion, say if oil reserves begin to run dry and quite frankly it will be decades before our society will be economically ready to wain ourselves off the black blood of industrial society.

Well I hope somewhere in their you could find my point Im sorry its kinda all over the place I have a tendency to write that way when it gets late.

 

Be careful with so called communal living. Sometimes those things turn out ot be suicide cults. With crazy rules like no corespondence with the outside world, and they make you cut off your balls and stuff. I'm not saying all of them are like that. I don't know aobut the rainbow group, but I have reservations about communal living. I don't want to be under anyone's rules but my own and those I agree with. Communal living is bound to have a bunch of rules as well.

 

It is certainly not bound to have a bunch of rules, rules are for those who cannot trust and be honest with their fellow person. If someone is an ego driven prick chances are they aren't going to be chasing a communal way of life they'll be to busy chasing that dollar and steping on whoevers in their way to get it, for in the end there can only be so much food in the trough. But I digress. Rules get you nowhere, and our philsophy for founding our community is entirely against it, for no matter how abvious and universal they would would seem their is always an exception..

Make no laws whatever concerning speech, and speech will be free;
so soon as you make a declaration on paper that speech shall be free,
you will have a hundred lawyers proving that "freedom does not mean abuse, nor liberty license";
and they will define and define freedom out of existence.
--Voltarine de Cleyre

not to say I entirely disagree with you but you are placing a harsh stereotype on a movement that could be so much more if it could only avoid such negative schemas and rid itself of the places that justify their existance such as zendik.

 

Hi Dark Star,


I'm sure you've already heard of ic.org, and that's all you really need.
They list hundreds of communes (now often called intentional communities).

Don't worry about cults! That's so funny.
I live in a communal situation, and have spent much of my life in communal situations since the '60s. Even a couple of cults.

Brother, if your so naive that you can't smell a cult a mile away, then you belong in one!

But from your words, I feel your a well intentioned person who will more than likely be loved and appreciated where ever you go!

 

in no way am i naive. in fact i tend to look to the root of everything. and im sure to fall into a cult unknowingly, you'd have to be looking at close to nothing..or just be plain stupid. i hope im not offending anyone btw. but i understand everything about rules and laws and such and communal living. ive thought about this to a VERY good point and im sure this is the way for me.

 

I've never really considered communal living until I visited this site and started learning about it. I find myself intrigued and have put it on the list of possibilities after my year long U.S. vacation that I've named Serenity Quest.

What I have been seeing a lot of is young people like yourself Dark Star that tend to have the wrong idea about the differences between a 9to5 vs communes.

Being 18, young people don't have much understanding of the adult lifestyle no matter how much they may believe otherwise. Isn't this the common argument among parents and their children? I had it, you had it and every other kid in this world has had the argument. I am now 34 and wiser for having worked and contributed to society for 16 years and now know the one thing I didn't know back then... That "I didn't know shit".

I have been a sort of free bird all of my life and stray from the normal as much as possible, but I still maintain standards set by society. The standards set by society today say I need money. If I want to live on my own land, I need money or a promise of money (loan) to buy that land. I need money to pay taxes to support a government who protects my rights to own that land. Since most land today does not have everything needed to start a farm, I will need money to buy materials to create a farm that will produce my own food. So now you have it all, living on your own, creating your own food, doing your own thing, but wait a second! How you going to pay all those loans off? Well, that can be any number of things, but it requires doing something other then "your own thing". It requires dedicated time set aside to produce whatever it is people will pay you for. In other words.. it requires a job! A job is not just a 9to5 pencil pusher or a grocery store clerk. Whatever it is you decide to do in order to get paid, it's going to be work and require the same effort and dedication as a job. Well, someone already said.. "Sell excess harvest" right? Well.. why would you ever have excess harvest if you were just doing on your own thing producing the minimal amounts you need in order to minimize the labor involved? To have enough excess harvest to earn all the money you need, you'll have to spend the extra time required.. it'll become... that's right... "your job". Ask any farmer about their 9to5 and they'll laugh because they go beyond 9to5 maintaining a farm. Also consider that if you plan to be self reliant you can't just have one crop, you need enough produce variety to maintain proper health. Also, the work required on a farm will eventually make any vegan start eyeballing meat. So now you need animals for meat and you need food for those animals. Wheweee... this is getting deep quick huh? Now you gotta maintain crops for you, your animals and enough to sell. You also have to maintain shelter for those animals. Your work day just got longer didn't it? The list goes on and on, but I hope you get the jest of it here.

How does this have anything to do with communal living you ask?

Well, consider all the things required above just to live by yourself and do your own thing free from society. Now take that times the number of people you plan to have in the commune and you'll get an idea for just how much work it will take on a daily basis to keep a commune healthy and happy.

Now consider this...

"We need to split up the work"
"How do we decide who does what?"
"We'll just ask for volunteers"
"Noone will volunteer to shovel crap, shuck the corn or plow the field"
"I guess we'll have to take a vote then"
"Vote someone to do each job? but I came here to do my own thing not get told what to do"
"How are things going to get done then?"
"Well, we can't vote because everyone will vote themselves for easy stuff"
"It sucks, but someone is going to have to take charge I guess"
"So how do we choose the right person"
"We'll have to vote and hope everyone doesn't vote for themselves"
"Man, I didn't come here to get ordered around by someone"
"Yeah, this sucks, but what else we going to do"
"I know, we'll just put together a list of all the daily chores and each person has to participate in a different chore every day"
"So we'll make it a rule then"
"Yeah, that sucks... I hate rules, just want to do my own thing"
"Well, it's the fair thing to do because it gives everyone equal responsibility"
"WHAT? responsibility? Man I don't want any of that!"
"But everyone has to do their part"
"Shoot man, I came here to get away from society and responsibility and all that stuff"
"Well, what else we going to do?"
"No idea man, but this sucks"
"Yeah, who would have ever thought chasing the easy life would be so damn hard!"


To summarize...

Communal living is not an escape from society where you "do your own thing". It's just another society within itself that will still have structure and rules. You "WILL" have to work or you'll find yourself leaving. That work isn't going to be any easier then a job you'd find within normal society and often times will be "MUCH HARDER" and "MORE DEMANDING". You will discover that communal living will have it's societal differences just like normal society. Basically, everything you experience with people outside of a commune you will experience inside the commune at some point. The only thing you can truely hope for is that these experiences will be very minimal in comparison because you'll be with a group of like minded people.

You will be greatly dissappointed if you enter a commune with the attitude that you'll have a simple, relaxing, do nothing all day lifestyle without any responsibilities. This is the attitude I'm seeing from a lot of the younger people who visualize what it would be like to live in a commune. It's understandable since they don't have the knowledge of what it truely takes to live. You've been sheltered by the house, clothing and money your parents provide. Even if you have a job and car while living with your parents, it's not even close to being on your own.

I'm not trying to discourage you in any way, but I do want to pull you back in to reality. Ditching college and a career to seek out a lifestyle that doesn't exist is a bad idea. I would suggest taking your summer break to visit a commune and discover the reality of it. This way you can make an informed decision based on actual experience and not just what I or anyone else says. Just don't dump everything blindy because your decisions at this age will have a great impact on your future.

Take care and good luck!

 

Great response - sounds great to read it out loud - you can se it happening a real cheech and chong type of thing.
And like he said not really at all true to life - you will find each different community (- commune is what ?) is as different as the different people who make it up. And those that go apart Are different - those willing to Work hard to make their world as they desire it a bit more of as reality - yeah - they be a bit Different - most of them have some sort of Connection thing to the Spirit ... whatever that means
I mean maybe younker it's just a stage thing when you get to realize that you didn't and don't Know shit (snigger) we're all Spirit immersed in matter not the other way around - and then the matter is immersed in Spirit too don't ya know - maya and all that crap.
Whoo eee and work well when you get round to it (we'll give you a round too it and take all your excuses away haha. But you also have fun working with people you want to be with that are sharing in making their dreams, both group And individual come true - not a moaning and a groaning about how they wish it could be.
We all trade our very lives for what we are living - best make sure you're happy with it !

 

O and rules - we got a real nice one it takes unaminous consent of all memebers to make or break a rule - yeehaa

 

yeah dude hell with that! you don't need a rule to tell a man to keep up his annual garden if you aint feedin him, you don't need to keep up a communal center if everyone can communicate from word of mouth and gatherings, its about self sufficiency in the fullest of sences. You might need some help to get started to be sure and in which case u certaincly shouldn't need a rule to tell you to be empathetic. Rules need go no further than our trust in our fellow man of its most basic form, and with all the levels we would divide this into we lose our trust in our must basic of social agreements, whereas a man could be held to be as well as his word simply wont do we need paper, and another neutral person to interpret that paper, and then a person to determine just how neutral that neutral person is, and where is your trust by now, do u care for human nature or are you so lost in the complexities of your forcefully manifest structure that u have not the time to consider your feeling for your fellow man in their most fundamental levels.

 

So what is the point of joining a community if everyone does their own thing which is what you are saying here? So nobody helps joe with his garden which means he's not going to help jane with her garden who will not be too happy and willing to help anyone else and the domino effect begins. Basically everyone has their own garden producing the variety they need huh? So instead of making things easier as a community you want to make things harder?

It would be much easier if say joe grew all the carrots needed for the community so that he could focus solely on top quality carrots and not have to learn how to grow 20 different crops. Jane could handle the potatoes and someone else the green beans and someone else the wheat, etc etc. This way, not everyone has to take on the challenge of growing every crop and things are much easier on everyone. This is what a community is all about, working together for the common good.

 

its about them doing it because joe has a sence of empathy for jan without a body of authority having to dictate of party A to party C under B and D scenarios with the exception of F, kind of metaphorical but sorry Im just lazy like that. Enlightened minds don't need a body of authority yet nowaday's such minds would certainly seem few and far between in which I can certainly see the logical reasoning of your views man.

 

I definately understand what you are hoping for, but I don't see it happening with the majority of communities. Take a group of people interested in the same hobby or sport. For example, I am a rock climber and for the most part climbers are tight group who tend to stick together. However, there are many different opinions on how to manage climbing areas, routes and everything in between. Even though everyone is in it for the common good it's just not possible to have everyone involved with decision making or just letting everyone do their own thing and hope that everthing is in sync. We have access management groups with leaders and decision makers who are more experienced and knowledgable about what needs to be done and how things need to be managed. It's the only way to maintain some sense of order and uniformity and keep the overall peace.