I never thought I would be here today. I thought my here would be another here and my me another one, but this is who I am and here is where I stand and though life didnt go as I planned. I cant say that it's bad, I still love it as much and Im almost letting go of the memories of the days I didnt want to have it. No, I never thought I would be here now, doing this, but I cant say I dislike where I am, it is ok and things keep changing. So much happened, good and bad, the bad I remember so much easier because from it I learned the most, the good makes me smile and be happy to be alive. I can tell you many stories and they are all true you know and the same character seems like a million ones. Things change and I am now in a different place than I was and I keep moving, I keep going. One day I'll learn how to be still and I can feel that day coming, but is not quite here yet. I love my days and its new discoveries, I'll like the now, more than the yesterday because it is just the way I am. I am sorry for so much that happened, for the people I hurt, for my stupid mistakes, but sorry is just a feeling and the word doesnt mean anything. what can I do? What can I say? To these questions I dont look an answer for. All I can do is remember, because somethings do not need to be reviewed. I am sorry, but do I feel regret? I used to think I did, but here is where I need to be. I sometimes wish I could take days to just hug the people I've hurt in any way, to the people I've lied to, to the people I have let down. Dont say a word and just give them a hug... will it make any difference? will they understand? I might cry if I do, but crying is ok. I keep moving into a different spot and the bad things within me slowly fade. I'll keep learning because that's the best I can do and I'll never know for sure but still I can believe and feel and think, I've learned to listen to what my soul sings and now it sings so loud, it's such a happy melody. I dont know where I'll end, but I know where I am and for once that is enough to make me smile. I'm not perfect, not great, not an angel, not good, but I try to not be bad and now I try harder and human is all I am. A friend told me if you do not change you are not living and to me that is so true, there's a difference between standing still and being static. Im not sure of the reason why I write this, Im not sure if I want anyone to read. this is just a reminder of things I shouldnt forget and maybe I wish everyone I know would read it, so they understand? not really, but so they know that I do think about these things. Much Love and smile at the blue sky please.
thanks I was just thinking at work, instead of working at work and it kinda poured out. I dont know if a confession or just looking inside, but I like it too.
I see it as a sort of stream-of-consciousness thing. I write a lot of that myself, so I can sorta appreciate it.
Well, it was the most interesting personal release I've seen around here. I like it when people twist things a bit.
