im so agrevated i could scream.....my sons dad is in so many words raising a quitter. he has no moral values at all. and plays mind games with our son. he has even went as far as telling him at one point in time that i dont care about him. i usually blow it off, but enough is enough. any advice?
I'm quick to jump on this one! Sorry, no advice, but I can definitely relate. Everything I do is not good enough for my twin girls according to their father. What's worse is it's not just their dad. It's his new wife too. The haircuts they got, the shampoo that I buy them, the shoes they got for school this year, and much, much more. Every time they go over to his house for visitation they come back tired and moody. They end up falling asleep in class on Mondays a lot because their father let's them stay up till midnight or so on the weekends and they won't go to sleep right away when they go to bed at my house on Sundays because they didn't get up until 1 PM that day. They tell my girls that I'm a bad mother because I give them regular chores around the house. I've tried ignoring comments and explaining what I can, but it just feels like I'm butting my head against a brick wall. So if anyone out there does have some advice on this, I'll gladly partake in that.
Children copy parents. What you project, is what they absorb like a sponge. This is not an issue of letting children be children. It's about the adults. x
You really underestimate a child's ability to think for his/herself. About all you are going to do is make them pretend to be a certain way around you and by making sure they only hear one side of debates. Once these restrictions stop applying, people start acting a lot different. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command
I'm quick to jump on this one! Sorry, no advice, but I can definitely relate. Everything I do is not good enough for my twin girls according to their father. What's worse is it's not just their dad. It's his new wife too. The haircuts they got, the shampoo that I buy them, the shoes they got for school this year, and much, much more. Every time they go over to his house for visitation they come back tired and moody. They end up falling asleep in class on Mondays a lot because their father let's them stay up till midnight or so on the weekends and they won't go to sleep right away when they go to bed at my house on Sundays because they didn't get up until 1 PM that day. They tell my girls that I'm a bad mother because I give them regular chores around the house. I've tried ignoring comments and explaining what I can, but it just feels like I'm butting my head against a brick wall. So if anyone out there does have some advice on this, I'll gladly partake in that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Irrational- The reasoning behind the Adult being the children is because WHO has SAY is ALL things ? WHO buys 99.99 % of things? And they get to just cuss you out becaue they can. They don't have the balls to come to your face and say WOW do you ever do a wonderful job of parenting, thanks for providing for OUR children; as for the step parent, she has absolutely no say in what you do and sounds like shes just jealous. I myself am a step parent, and i can relate. But i make sure to tell my step children what where when why how who? And absolutely nothing is negative. WHAT your children is picking up is their supply of their mess So IMHO they (ex and current wife, need to stand up for themselves and realize) messes just don't tidy themselves up. Making children do chores lets them gain responsibility earn whatever the parent wants to give them points money etc JUST because they are a certain age does not mean that theres a limit to cleaning up? When are they toilet trained? When do they go to school? They learn - correct? Children learn every day We as adults learn from children those are just excuses. I would sit down and talk with your children and tell them that whatever daddy and whomever she is... is talking about is not right and its not right to talk about people behind other people's back. I understand your position; caution them that mommy and daddy's are not always right and it wasn't nice for him to talk the way he did. If they want to sit back and critisize you about shoes and house hold goods have them fork out the money for it. If they don't have a problem with it or they theink the childrens shoes are too higher end quality too damn bad you know if parents don't want to fork out for what they made thats what they get . They need to learn to keep their mouths shut and deal with it. man that makes me mad.
I agree xexon, But how long do you let an ex mess with your kids mind and emotions before you do something??? The topic stemed from my son wrestling and his dad will not encourage him to finish something he stated because it interferes with his visitation. one hour, one night a week.So instead he made my son feel bad and all the sudden he wants to quit. hes been in it for more than a month. and this just started a week ago when he came home from holiday visit for a week.... I' m not sure how to deal with it, except to just keep encouraging him to finish....
i posted childeren be childeren because... he dosnt allow him to be a kid....hes not allowed to do anything byhiself at all when hes with his dad....he cant be a kid without his dads approval
what you need to do is sit down with the father and tell him to stop the abuse. doesnt have to be physical to be abusive there is mental agravation and emotional abuse. if he doesnt not then you should just make note of all the times he plays these mind games and maybe start thinking about getting sole custody of your son. i mean he doesnt need to be around someone who abuses him and you. As far as the father having no values and saying mean things just enforce to your son that you love him and that no matter what you are there for him. Just try to be the best role model for you child as much as you can. i mean if the father is a low life than start treating him like a low life. thats my take on it.
