Lesbian Advice

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Chiana20, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. Chiana20

    Chiana20 Member

    Ok I see in alot of threads in between other lesbians asking for advice. Most of those girls seem to be the queit ones. So I thought we can make a lil thread to give each other advice. We all ears ladies!!!!
    1 person likes this.
  2. honeyfugle

    honeyfugle pumpkin

    this is a really good idea - i'll be here for any girlies needing a bit of help! :) :)
    1 person likes this.
  3. lutsko67

    lutsko67 Member

    Any1 needs some advice or a ear 2 just listen 2, drop me a line here. I get wkly info and be more then willing to help out. Peace n kisses 2 all.
    2 people like this.
  4. thanks for the offers of advice! i am definitely feeling good being around this lesbian forum community. i should have posted my advice plea in this thread but i didn't see it until after i posted!
    1 person likes this.
  5. funkyfate

    funkyfate Member

    I'm up for giving advice too. I'm new here but more than willing to lend an ear!!
  6. inexperienced

    inexperienced Member

    I and a friend are hopefully working toward having our first girlie experience and I would like advice about how to give her multiple orgasms during genital massage? Is clitoral or vaginal massage best, or both? Do I ease off massaging while she has an orgasm and massage somewhere less sensitive, such as her labia, before returning to her more sensitive areas to give her another orgasm, etc?

    Additionally, I have read about extended orgasm and would like also try that with her, any advice would be useful as when we masturbate by ourselves we both cum in a few minutes.

    I want to give her pleasure and want the pleasure to last as long as possible for both of us. I would appreciate some help, as I really want our first experience to be a wonderful time to remember and cherish.
    2 people like this.
  7. mystik_lilac

    mystik_lilac Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Hey Ladies~

    I felt this thread needed to become a sticky. Continue to post your advice here.

    1 person likes this.
  8. spinningtop

    spinningtop Member

    Warm greetings everyone,

    OK, this may sound really naive but I'd love to read your thoughts here, I have been pretty quick to lable myself as straight during my 29 years, I'm in a long-term relationship with a guy, but have had a couple of sexual experiences with girl friends over the years. I have always been open to the idea that everyone can be sexually attractive, men and women. Anyway, I have this lesbian friend who I totally admire, she's incredibly intelligent, funny, interesting... and I have this HUGE crush on her. When I first met her I figured that my feelings were just professional admiration but lately I keep thinking about having sex with her. I haven't seen her in a while (I've been overseas) but I think that when I do catch up with her I'll just want to kiss her.

    Is it a 'girl crush'? Should I do anything about it? I don't want to cheat on my partner, but I keep fantasizing about being single so that I can hook up with this woman. Can you reccommend any literature/film/resources? I've tried the net but keep running into these 'confused teen' sites.

    Probably relevant to note that I'm not attracted to any of my straight female friends. The fact that this friend is a strong, out lesbian, seemingly (to me) secure in her own sexuality is a turn-on - is that weird? Do I just have some straight-girl infatuation with lesbianism itself?

    Not sure. I appreciate any of your thoughts and advice - thanks to all who make this a great site.
  9. I have a bestfriend who is always stunting on me for this one 1 bitch who she has been breaking up wit and getting back 2gether with her for 3 yrs now. Me n ma bf have been friends for almost 8 yrs now and its been really shaky for the last 3yrs since she been fucking with dis dumb bitch. SheZ made her lose 3 apartments... 2 cars... 1 job... has cut her... spit in her moms face... i beat her ass once...spits in her face when she gets mad....picks up cable boxes and throws them at her or anything else thats around when she gets mad. Its so many disrespectful things that this HOE has done 2 ma bestie.... she even FUCKed 5 other HOES there whole relationship since theyve been together. Recently me n ma bestie have came back together and been chilling with each other cuz about a year and 1/2 ago i stopped being around her cuz she played me for this TRICK 1 last time. I moved away to another state and came back about 4 months ago...since then she broke up with the HOE about a month ago and was moving on with her life. I was so proud of her for a minute... but she cant let go of the girls child so that puts the dumb HOE still in the picture even though she doesnt even take care of the baby anyways. Anyways this past week my bestie has been not answering my phone calls.... and I havent seen or heard from her....she knows how I feel about her girlfriend so she feels that she needs to duck me so she doesnt have to hear my mouth. Today I looked on her myspace page and I see that she in a relationship and all these pics of this BITCH is back on her page.....I was soooooooo surprised...even though I knew in the back of my mind that her being back with her was a possibility... I was juz in denial. Right now I am really confused on whether I should still remain friends with her cuz she juz doesnt care about me once this BITCH comes around. She ignores me.... n I dont even see her. She wont even talk to me and be real about her FUCKing with the HOE AGain. Her attitude is even different with me... she very ignorant and acts like all she cares about is the dumb HOE. Me being the person that I am.... I look out for her whenever she needs me.... give her money for gas when she on E.... let her borrow ma shit..everything. When that BITCH stole her money I was there buying her shit to eat. N she doesnt even appreciate me for that. I dont know what to do anymore...I know she has her own life and I cant make decisions for her but I dont want to lose her as a friend. Someone please give me some advice.
  10. spinningtop

    spinningtop Member

    Hi Phillyz, welcome. Wow you sound really angry, and I guess I can't blame you, sorry to hear you're going through a hard time.

    If I was in your shoes I would probably say to your friend that you value the friendship, but the nature of her relationship with this other chick makes you really uncomfortable. You hate to see her be taken advantage of (like when this chick steals her money or whatever), but she's an adult and has to live her life.

    It can be really hard when you see a friend unhappy - but is she unhappy? Maybe she wants to be with this girl. Maybe she's taking advantage of your friendship (relying on you for money for gas). Offer her your friendship, based on mutual respect, and if she wants it it's up to her.

    Good luck, hon
  11. lutsko67

    lutsko67 Member

    Wow!! Can't believe it's been a while since I checked in. ok, so 2 offer a little advice 2 some of the posts I ve read here. 1st. I find both oral n gentle massage to my partner is very stimulating and orgasmic 4 her and I. Making love gently, softly, and oh so slowly really does extend your orgasm. You run a marathon, you don't run into a orgasm. 2nd. I can't help you w/ your question on rather it's a infatuation or just a crush. But I can say this, follow your heart. You didn't say you were married nor engaged to this man just in a long term relationship. Since this woman is a friend, are you willing to sit down and have a talk w/her? Either way, I wish you the best. 3rd. Now Miss Philly, girlfriend. I can only say this FRIENDS DONT TREAT FRIENDS LIKE SHIT. IF YOU HAVE MORE FRIENDS LIKE HER YOU WILL BE FILLING BANKRUPTCY BY THE TIME YOU ARE 30. Oh and Phillyz welcome 2 forums!
    1 person likes this.
  12. Cirkuss

    Cirkuss Member

    Ah, hi. .I'm really new and I didn't want to make a whole thread so I thought I'd kind of tentatively ask for advice here. .I hope it's alright. And before I sound too pathetic, I need to say I'm only seventeen, so please forgive my naivity!

    I'm confused. It's sort of a generic 'coming out' kind of 'am I really gay' but it's turning into a sort of 'am I asexual or bisexual or what?' kind of deal. The difference with me is that I'm whole-heartedly and completely OUT to the whole world as a full-fledged and happy little lesbian, but I'm not so sure of that anymore. I love girls, like, a lot. They turn on and I want to have a relationship with one (again, I've had a couple now) (heh, I'm young) but the only types of girls I really go for are types who look or act kind of boyish, and who are. .erm, I suppose more dominant. But that just sounds like I like boys, doesn't it? But the problem is I like that 'facade' without the. .parts (you know which parts. .) involved with it. I honestly cannot see myself, as a girl, in a relationship with a boy. Actually, the thought sort of repulses me, but am I wrong about myself?
    I also have a bit of a fetish for gay men. Sometimes I'll daydream that I'm a boy and such and such will happen between me and another boy. In fact, I more frequently have dreams like this than myself with another woman. I don't know if it's just because of my over-exposure to a plethora of gay porn and fiction (eheh, don't judge, all my friends do it!) or if deep down I actually do harbor feelings for the opposite sex! If I do, then why does the idea turn me off so severely, I wonder?

    It's all sort of weird, like. .how could I get turned on by two men together, two women together, but not a woman and a man together? And if I hate men by themselves, how come two together is okay to me? I'm still gay, right?
  13. angelbaby86

    angelbaby86 Guest

    this can apply to everyone really. just be sure to be positive in everything that you do. with a positive attitude, you can accomplish anything.
  14. Peace_Flower

    Peace_Flower Member

    ok,so here's my question.I have 2 really good friends - girls. And we do everything together, we're like really close. So, once, on my birthday, me and one of them got drunk and we kissed, but nothing more. But after that we kinda forget about it. We didn't talk about it and we act like nothing has happened, so everything was ok. we were still as good friends as we were before. It's been 6 moths from that..

    but here's the real problem.. I started to like her. The point is that as far as I know, she doesn't know if she's bi or gay. And for me, I was always saying that girls only attract me sexually and nothing more...well I was wrong obviously. The point is, I don't know if I should tell her that I like her. I'm afraid of losing her as a friend, because we're like best friends, or maybe that she'll start to act weird just because of my feelings.
    The other friend said that I shouldn't tell her and wait for these feeling to just fade with time. But I still don't know... what do you think I should do?

    ( I'm sorry for possible mistakes, my english is not that good):D
  15. mystik_lilac

    mystik_lilac Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Peace it is always a hard situation to give advice on when a girl falls for a friend. Luckily in this case it doesn't sound like your friend is straight...that always makes it a toughie. Haha. Anyway, my head would tell you to not say anything because she is your friend and you DO risk losing that, or making things weird. That being said, I tend to not follow that advice myself. Plus, you know you friend better than we do, how do you think she will react? If you really think it might make things weird, then I would suggest to not risk it. Maybe "feel" out the situation a little more. The problem with telling someone that you like them without knowing if they like you too is, sometimes people "think" they have feelings for you only because you told them you have feelings for them and it puts ideas in their head. When in reality they don't feel the same way for you, and when that newness wears off, you're the one that is hurt.

    Bottom line, I would definately think long and hard before reacting :) Hope that helps.
    1 person likes this.
  16. Peace_Flower

    Peace_Flower Member

    mystik thanks. what you wrote really made me think over some things. I decided to tell her. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it and I'll just tell her what I feel. As much as I know her, she won't have a problem with it, or at least I hope so. I'm just going to wait for the right moment ( when we'll be high or something like that) and just say it. I hope everything goes well. Thanks again:)
  17. I think you are thinking too hard. The important thing is that you want to be with the girl you're with and you listen, look, feel what her body tells you. Every one is different in what makes them have multiple orgasms.

    I happen to be multiorgasmic, so it's really not that complicated. But I find it has as much to do with who I am with and the intensity of the physical, mental, or emotional, connection as it does with what they are physically doing.
  18. Women can have strange effects on other women. I know it's hard to take. I have been in your place, and I have been in your best friends place.

    My first girlfriend was a lot like your best friend's girlfriend. Possessive and controlling. Spending all my money. Violent. Disrespectful. I dropped a lot of friends when I was with her. Mostly cause of her jealousy and anger. I have three people that I consider to be my absolute best friends. All of them have been amazing friends for at least the last ten years. One of them is a friend that I didn't keep in contact with while I was with my first girlfriend. I had treated her pretty badly while I was with my first gf. Not because I wanted to be mean, but because of this dumb b!tch that I was dating.

    My second girlfriend was, also, very similar. And the same thing happened. She was super jealous of all my friends, especially one of my good friends. She didnt want me to spend time with her, talk to her, hang out with her, etc. She was convinced we were secretly in love with each other and that made her super jealous. The irony is that I was really madly in love with her, and that made me dumb enough to listen to her crazy demands. That good friend is the second of my three best friends.

    The third, is different. I was in your position, and she was like your best friend. She was in this horrible relationship with this girl for three years. Alternately fighting and being madly in love. She lied to me several times while they were together, because she knew that i thought this girl was bad news. So many of our friends gave up on her because she cut us all out of her life while she was with this chick, and was a totally different person. I, for some reason, stuck it out. three+ years I stuck around and in the end we became better friends than we had ever been.

    So, its ultimately a matter of what you can take. we do what we can do. then we count on the universe to bring us back together. i have at some point thought i would never talk to each of these people again, and yet they are my three best friends (besides my girlfriend). but here we are, our friendships having survived over ten years of ups and downs.
  19. When I was in hs I had a friend that I was extremely close to. Later, in college, I figured out I was gay. I was afraid to tell her, cause I didn't want her to be weird. Now the situation was different, because I didnt have feelings for her. Anyhow, I tried to make it as casual as possible. But later on I asked her what she thought or felt about it.

    I think honesty is the best policy. But I would definitely approach it as not a big thing. If she's not interested, it shouldnt be any different than having a crush on someone who is taken.

    Id say the best choice is to be casual, but if she reacts with hesitancy make sure she knows that you respect her boundaries, and your friendship should not be confused with unwanted advances. if it ends up that your advances are welcome, then you have nothing to worry about.

    If she reacts really badly, then she really wasnt much of a friend to begin with.
  20. mayohiorun

    mayohiorun Member

    this happened to me a few years ago. i started to fall for my best friend and was really worried about it. it was the first time i had acknowledged my love for girls. we talked about it, after a long time of putting it off, and turns out she felt the same way for me. we fell in love and dated, she was my first girlfriend.
    my advice, talk to her. i know that its easier said than done, but you never know.

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