she said: show me something graceful and fluid nothing in neon or those horrible '80s colours and nothing heavy-metal hard... something lounge music and soft as eyelashes show me something substantial, that'll last... that'll still be fashionable come fall show me something with addiction, something heroin chic or nicotine stained or d.t. marvellous and awed... something with a step program and a bad rep something with plush costumes and a good view something more interesting than slot-machine mania show me something that will ease...
so i won't do the same to this one. but, i love it. it's babble, and it's glorious. it's completely synaesthetic and it works.
Another good one. The one thing i would change is this line: something lounge music and soft as eyelashes You have the two styles of simile that kinda clash to me. I'd simply break the line thus: something lounge music soft as eyelashes
teh horace and bhaskar: thanks for your critique, but more importantly thanks for readin'...all words are welcome... how come you guys don't post so much???
