Ladies...how do your feel about being in a relationship with an effeminate man?

Hi everyone. I'm new to the forum and I didn't know exactly where this fits into the threads, but I thought this one was the best fit. Feel free to move it if you think it belongs elsewhere, I'd appreciate it.

My question is mostly for the ladies; However, if you have any actual experience to share, I'd love to hear from you.

I'm a guy who is very girlie in a lot of ways. I'm not gay and I'm not homophobic...believe me, if I were attracted to men, I'd go for it. Nothing is stopping me. The fact is, I am only attracted to women. But I am more like having a girlfriend than a boyfriend. I know it's not the norm, but how many women have dated an openly effeminate man. Would you consider it...what would be your reaction to dating a man who's very girlie, likes to gossip and talk about relationships and feelings, loves to cuddle and go shopping, cries in sad movies, and basically just like dating a woman in every other way. Except the equipment. It's really not talked about much in the media. So I'm feeling sort of left out. I mean could you or would you be comfortable telling your friends that you date or that you are in love with a sissy? Is not being the stereotypical male a deal breaker to you? Just answer for yourself, I'm really interested in what you have to say. Thanks.

Oh, and I am a big guy. A little over six foot and about 200 pounds. Not many men have it in them to call me a sissy to my face. But that doesn't mean they don't think it. Funny thing is, if they did call me one...I'd probably just laugh with them and agree. I don't mean I can't defend myself, I can and will. I'm just very girlie, that's all. Thanks again.

 

I think there are probably lots of women who'd adore you.

 

The things you mentioned are not attractive to me. Not because I see them as feminine but because I don't enjoy them myself.
For example, I don't like to gossip, don't enjoy shopping all that much and rarely cry when watching movies.

I care about compatibility not stereotypes. Some of your mentioned interests just don't appeal to me.

It sounds like you're more girly than I am in certain respects

 

Wonderful answers.

 

Thank you all. It's really nice to hear. I'm sure I'm not every girls type, but that's a wonderful way to put things. Thank you.

 

I have been attracted to guys like that before... and I don't mean this as a joke or in a mean way... but the one, most extreme time, he ended up being gay. lol.

but no.. that would not bother me... ppl are who they are

 

Yeah somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like girlfriend that I had in February of last year.

 

Ohhh The Killers...yayyy

*goes to youtube and music thread*

 

Did you actually date him? I mean was he just "confused" at the time? I do have a few gay/lesbian/bi friends, they are not all open about it, but they know who they are and are open around their friends. Just wondered what happened.

 

I remember that song...funny!!!

 

I could totally relate; I'm like that in some ways myself. I don't consider myself "girly" but I'm definitely not a "macho" guy in a stereotypical sense either. I'm just really sensitive, I guess. Some people have said I'm "manly in a gentle way". I guess that's alright, lol. One time, a friend just couldn't help but utter "you're so girly!", and I remember just replying with "haha, I'm just comfortable with my feminine side, I suppose". I've always been mistaken for a girl, but it's not like I consciously try to appear female, or anything. In fact, the 98% of the clothing I own is all men's. The women's ones I own are not very feminine, so I just figure they can be more like unisex than strictly women's.

Some of the movies I cried, or downright bawled in, most people would be like "are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!"(we're talking some cheesy family movies) lmao xD I even decided I quite enjoy The Twilight Saga. I personally wouldn't consider myself as "gossipy", but I love talking. I have no idea how cars run, or what the rules for football are. But I know how to paint nails, lol. I used to paint cool patterns on my then-girlfriend's nails when we were going out many many years ago. I love scented candles and incense, shampoos and conditioners that actually don't damage your hair. I name my stuffed animals, and I'm pretty emotional.

But hey, girls have been interested in me. In fact, I'm involved in this online thing at the moment with a wonderful girl. We can get pretty romantically disgustingly cute when we chat, lol. There's someone awesome out there for you, too. I don't know where, but they are out there.

All the best.

 

I'm sure that's true.

 

I wouldn't like it if my man cared too much for appearances and liked to shop, because I hate shopping. All we do to look good is sport and keep an eye on our weight, because we both hate fat.

Just look for women who are into the same things as you. There are plenty of those!!!

 

Nah, not for me.

 

Personally no, I'm not attracted to effeminate men. Having said that your post has made me question my thoughts as to what does and does not attract me. My answer was no to everything you wrote until you came to your physical description. Now I'm not so sure whether my attraction to men revolves more around them being physically bigger than me versus behaviour. I am not attracted to effeminate men in regards to appearance combined with behaviour. I would be attracted to a man who was masculine in appearance and some of the behaviours you describe would not bother me unless they were markedly pronounced and screamed out gay. A man who cried during sad movies, liked to talk and treated me well wouldn't bother me. A man who called my relatives darling and used my nail polish would.
I would not be embarrassed to introduce any guy to my friends. It's up to them to deal with their own prejudices. I'm not one who bases their decisions around the views of their friends anyway.

 

I agree!

 

I know plenty of masculine men who cry at movies, like to shop, etc. I am curious about how you like to be in relationships - who does the driving, so to speak? Do you want your woman to drive you around, pay for you, etc? Would you prefer to be a stay at home dad while your wife brings home the bacon? Do you put your arms around her or does she put them around you?

I see masculinity more as your role in the relationship - provider, driver, fixer, etc., than the sorts of things you enjoy. A strong, capable man who can also cry at movies and enjoy puppies and a bubble bath can be very sexy.

What do you think?