Lack of sex is driving me insane

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by dee, May 28, 2004.

  1. dee

    dee Member

    My girlfriend is no longer giving out, a bit crude I know but this is the internet so it doesn't matter as much, probably.

    I just have to get this off my chest cuz it really is doing my head in. I've been with her for free years and we used to have a good sex life, then she moved house and it's gone to once or twice a week, we see each other for 4 times a week. I figured that once or twice a week is better than nothing but I just can't help still feeling like a horny 18 year old.

    It's almost like an illness and the medicine just so happens to be sex. grrrrrr.

    I've talked to her about it and she just gets upset and moody and it's impossible to have a conversation. I wish I could just turn the hornyness down a bit like a radio with country and western playing.

    In 3 years I've been faithful, completely, I admit to going out and having a good laugh with my mates, consuming far too many naughty substances, going to the cinema with mates when she can't get a baby sitter for her kid so that we could go together instead which I would prefer anyway, hhmmm.

    WTF can I do? As always relationships are complicated and I'm not too good at them. I remember telling her that I wasn't any good at relationships but some how I ended up in one.

    Thanks for listening, I glad I got that off my stoned mind.

    Dee.
     
  2. auraley

    auraley Member

    that's a bit sad...you should be fucking every time you see her!
     
  3. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Something could have happened to her that she doesn't want to tell you about. Or can't. When I was in high school, a guy put something in my drink at a party and I woke up with him the next morning, not remembering a damn thing at all... I'd only had one beer, so I couldn't understand what had happened. It took me a while to put everything together, but I was totally turned off by everyone for a long time. I actually had a boyfriend at the time and had to break up with him not long after that because it was really killing me. I felt guilty and responsible and slutty. :(

    But... she might have a different problem. Maybe she's bored. Take her out and do something fun and different from what you usually do. Try having sex in different places...like the park, or while you're driving (it can be done)...
     
  4. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    one thing u said was that she had a kid. I know that after I had kids my sex drive changed completely. Sometimes when my kids or situations stress me out I'm just don't like men at all and wish they'd all go to...well you get the point. Being a mother your hormones and mind set changes. Maybe shes just going through some adjustments. Plus, you've been together for so long. Let it calm down. Sometimes for women they need that break. Then they come back hornier than ever one day! lol Good luck.
     
  5. dee

    dee Member

    yeah definetely, although I understand that sometimes people need a break or don't feel like it. It's been going on for months.

    Sorry to hear about what happened too you, sounds like a real nightmare.

    It's funny though that you should mention taking her to a park cuz I took her to a park and there was swing, I was well up for it as usual but she was being boring and that was around the time I noticed we were having less sex and I was having trouble getting to sleep because of it. I'm not saying that sex send me to sleep cuz it doesn't but I can't get asleep easily without sex, I just have too much horn going on!

    I dunno if she is bored or not, she seems to enjoy it when we have it and regularly squirts all over the place. I just think she's lost the need for as much sex as she used to have. But what do I know, I'm just a man.
     
  6. dee

    dee Member

    Looks like you posted this just as I was posting my other reply. She had the kid a year before we met and sex has been great up until about 6 months ago.

    I'm glad you guys are talking with me about this cuz it's been going around in my head for ages and I have nobody else that I can talk about this kind of thing with without getting embarressed and feeling like an idiot!
     
  7. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Yeah... I changed a lot after I had my boy. It's hard when you're tired and you've had a long day, then you come home and someone wants to fuck you, and the last thing you want in the world is another baby to put up with, which is all sex is good for to you know. Because you're jaded and depressed and you're 19 and 45 at the same time..... :eek:
     
  8. dee

    dee Member

    yeah I can understand that, I'd probably be put off sex for a bit if I'd just released something out of my body that was roughly 10lbs in weight. Glad I'm a man but I wouldn't mind being a woman for a day, indoors alone.
     
  9. Spinner

    Spinner Member

    Yes the lack of sex will drive someone insane!
    I can't go a whole day without doing or watching something sexual.
    Is hypersexuality a mental disorder?
    Or it becuz I'm a scorpio/scorpio?
     
  10. maybe it's just because ur 15.
     
  11. dee

    dee Member

    haha. Some grow out of it, some don't. Some can control it, some can't. Some can't contol it and learn the hard way then they learn to control it but only just. haha.
     
  12. peaceful420

    peaceful420 Member

    I know exactly how you feel. My gf hasn't given up anything for practically a month, but technically more because we only fucked once, and that was another month. So yeah, like two months and no sex.
     
  13. Bug_Man

    Bug_Man Banned


    If I was doing it twice a week, I would feel like Hugh Hefner!
     
  14. cbrmale

    cbrmale Member

    It is hard when sex drives don't coincide. I know that feeling when you get all horny and desperate. My wife and I do tend to coincide, the only problems I have had are when I have been away from home for a few days.

    Men equate sex with love, whereas women need to feel loved to give sex. The best cure is romance. Think about the romance novels that many girls read compared to the pornography that turns many men on. I write erotic stories, generally with a strong romantic element coupled with explicit sex. And 80% of the feedback I get is from girls.

    Think about romancing your girlfriend. I am not sure of your age, but typical romantic things can be a bunch of nice flowers for no particular reason. Or taking her out for a nice meal. Or a present of some nice jewellery. Or any other range of things to romance her. That should make her feel better and spark up your relationship.

    This is a healthy tip for future relationships that you will have too.
     
  15. shrimpgirl

    shrimpgirl Member

    my boyfriend and i hardly ever coincide... it gets so frustrating! :(
    we used to have sex every day, sometimes twice a day... i know the sex drive in a relationship changes inevitably, but this is ridiculous (we're only 17 for christ's sake) it's been a year and a half and we hardly ever have more than thre or four times a week (i know thats not much to complain about hehe but in comparison...)
    he's extremely sensitive to outer influences, stress especially... so alot of the time he's not in the mood because he's in a shitty mood...
    sometimes his lack of desire makes me feel like shit, like i'm not sexy enough to turn him on anymore :(
    it just gets depressing after a while....
     
  16. dee

    dee Member

    I'm gonna give the romance ago but I reckon she'll just think that I'm doing it to get laid. hmm, she would be right.

    More and more I'm starting to think that we're not right for each other and we'd both be better off with someone else. If only it was that simple.
     
  17. dee

    dee Member

    yeah that same thing goes through my head as I try to get to sleep. It's a lot more complicated than it sounds, whatever I do is wrong.
     

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