Kinky fetish, need advice!!!

Discussion in 'Real Kinky' started by kinkyandalone, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. Alright, Here is a question that has several parts. It is a long story, but I will write the whole thing for once. Warning, this is a little explicit, but it is a question that has been bothering me for quite some time.
    First off, let me give you some background in this story. I won't start from the beginning too much, all I will say about the beginning is I have enjoyed this since I was 6 years old. I grew up as an only child and loved to wear women's panties, bras, stockings, and basically anything that was for women. I always thought this would be a hidden secret that I took to my grave. I always had a fantasy of taking it from behind from a female. I want to tell you I am not gay at all. I couldn't stand the thought of being with a guy. This is just different to me. When I was 20, I had a girlfriend who I was trying to get her to let me have sex with her anally. She said she would if I would take it from her. I about died, this is what I always wanted. I agreed to it. She bought a toy that allowed us to do this. It was an anal probe. We only did it once or twice. In the middle of this I can't remember how, but I got her to put me in her panties and tie me up. She smacked me with a belt. I died, I was in heaven. This is what I always wanted. It was short lived, we broke up shortly after due to other issues. I later dated another girl who was into doing me from behind, in fact she bought a strap on to use on me. We had a lot of fun with it and one night, I put her panties on as, what I acted like, a joke. She liked it, so it went from there. We also later broke up from unrelated reasons.

    Now, here is the last part of the background where my question comes from. A few years later I found a perfect sexual partner and I married her. She was more than just a great sexual partner, she was the love of my life. We had a relationship that most could only dream about. May 23, 2012, she passed away. I miss her in so many different ways. She was into everything I was. She loved to dress me up in her lingerie and even at times, would dress me totally like a female that is out in public. She had been known at times to put me in women's everyday clothes and do my make-up. She would take me out in public and I would pass as a female; a big bodied female, but still a female. She would bring me home, tie me up, whip me, and use a strap-on with me. We had so much fun with this. I came home from work one day and found that she had taken away all my underwear and in place of it was nothing but panties. She also put bras and stockings in the drawer. She wanted me to wear panties 24/7. I felt like I died and went to heaven. It was exciting in more ways than one. there is the obvious, and that is that I loved dressing like that and second, it was the fear of being caught. We did this for several years. Finally, she wrote a list of rules I had to live by. She wanted me to be a female most of the time. I always had to wear panties, but also there were three days a week that I had to wear a bra. I didn't have to put my boobs in, but it was risky enough. She also wanted me to wear lingerie, or a skirt with stockings the whole time I was at home in the evenings. She also taught me to do my make-up and I had to do this as well while I was home at nights. I also had to sit when I peed. I had to get on my knees once In got dressed up and suck her strap-on. I had to bend over and take it anytime she wanted to give it to me. There were many other rules ranging from what I had to call her, to what I had to do in bed. The last rule she had was when it was her time of the month it was also mine. I had to wear a pad. Now here is something else I had to do that gave us a connection that was crazy. She was telling me a story about when she was in high school, which due to the 6 year difference between us I was in 6th grade, She would wear tampons in her anus. At about that same time, I started doing the same. I loved sliding them in there and she would put them in me and loved it. So, due to the fact that I now had that time of the month, I had to wear a pad or a tampon and sometimes both. She required me to carry one around with me all the time and I had to change it every time I went to the bathroom.
    I love my wife more than life itself and really miss her. I am trying to rebuild my life now and I know I will never replace her, nor would I want to. There are so many memories I have of our life together that I will cherish till the day I die. I loved all of this sexual fun we had together. Here are my questions. Is this very common? What percentage of women would be into this? How should I bring it up when dating? Where do I find women who are into this or better yet how do I bring it up when I am not sure if they are into it? i am very shy and worry about what people will think of me with this subject. Please answer my questions and give me as much feedback as possible. I want as much info as I can get about this subject.
     
  2. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    Firstly I am sorry you have lost the woman you obviously has such a rare connection with but I am also so happy for you that you got to experience her and what you gave each other.

    I'm personally not turned on by what you are into but it doesn't freak me out. I don't know if you'll find someone quite the same as your wife but there are certainly women out there who'll enjoy what you do.

    I am a member of another site called Swingers Heaven. You can place ads and specify what you are after. It's more of a sex site but its a start and at least everyone is on there for the same reason.

    Just like to point out that if I fell in love with a man who was into the same as you, I would go so far as wearing a strap on and be fine with the lingerie just not the rest. To me it's about the emotional connection and finding ways to please both in the way they wish. What I'm trying to say is that I definitely think you'll find someone that will satisfy your sexual needs and desires :)
     

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