Kind Of Irritated At My Sister

So for the past two years (our anniversary is today) I've been in a stable relationship with my girlfriend. We live together, we celebrate holidays together, we talk about our future together.

My sister broke up with her last boyfriend and got with a new guy immediately after and got pregnant...again. So she now has an eight year old by one guy and an infant by a guy that she's been with for less than a year. I don't know if I'm just being silly but I kind of resent her. She has always been the unruly one and the one who fucks around with every guy she sees. Now she has a family. I just got her Christmas card in the mail with a picture of this fuddy duddy and her and her tiny baby from the..let's call it the Andrews family. She's not married and she's already taking his name.

I guess what bothers me the most is that this is what finally got our grandmother speaking to us again. She's a staunch Republican but I'm sure she thinks of her little instant family as more legit than a relationship I built just because I'm with a woman and can't get pregnant. I just find it incredibly irritating that my "family unit" isn't seen as respectful as that of someone who just got irresponsible and didnt use protection. Usually I dont care what other people think...but she's just so trashy, I can't be seen as less successful than her.

 

You need a baby too, success for women is having babies.

 

You can't be seen as less successful than her.....by who? Grandma?

Why is that important?

Meh, no kids, you'll end up with more money and a lot more choices

If you really want kids have some, but it won't matter either way what people think

 

Well, her and the rest of my extended family up in New York. We don't see them much but for some reason I guess I kind of want them to not think I'm a loser or a heathen...lol but I guess it can't be helped. I don't really know if I want kids. And if I did, I'd adopt.

I guess more than approval from my family, it just bothers me that she rushes into these things and has this superior attitude, like she's better than me. I wonder what people think, but I know deep down that her relationship won't last because she gets bored and doesn't like being controlled by a daddy figure, which is basically what this guy is.

 

Give it time. She will be an embarrassment to the family before you know it. Pressure from your families expectations should not determine the direction you take your life. Be happy with your girlfriend and keep being true to yourself.

 

I don't necessarily want her to be an embarrassment. Certainly not to feel better about myself. But she often does make rash decisions and then she changes her mind. I only wish that the rest of my family saw how responsible I am. And that I'm in a stable relationship and deserve respect too.

 

Sorry, I was just saying that to say as that is how things can sometimes go within families. I would say that you know yourself and who you are...let them figure it out or not. Insist on a certain level of respect from family even if they don't like your choices. Eventually they will understand.

 

Dunno about that, the gay uncle/aunt tend to be the big embarrassment (assuming no jail birds).

 

This proves ya never read this thread oldDude!

Most of your family will be thinking what you are la Principessa, but they can't say, they are just waiting for her to fall, then they will chat about who was right!
I'm so proud of my daughter, and I've told her to be proud of herself! It doesn't matter what people think..Do and be the best you can be!
She doesn't want children, but has been an awesome auntie, and step mum to her partners daughter!

la Principessa, one day, it's going to be just you! Be who you would like

 

Not many of my white family alive ...... I'm about the oldest. In the west I have a couple of distant cousins.
My family are all Asian and living in SEA.

 

But I thought you had children here?
Why not get in touch oldDude?

 

Not had contact for 8 years .... wife said they weren't biologically mine. I trust her word, not my children, I was mistaken.

 

Never too late oldDude, and if she is as bad as you say, they will be happy to have contact with you , DNA oldDude, no mistake any more!

 

No, at the moment they love and trust their mother. What good could come from me blackening her name.
Let them live with one 'good' parent', I no longer care about them and have a new family and children now.

 

How do you give up on your kids?
Why blacken her name to them? Is it their business that your marriage failed?

 

True. At least I know my mother knows who I am and respects me. However, she grew very close with my nephew and my sister has already cut ties with her once because she said the wrong thing to her. I feel as if no matter what she does, my mom will take it because she wants contact with the kids. She won't even call her out if she wrongs me. She has this bulletproof wall around her that she's always liked somehow even if she's a raging bitch. If as a kid I snuck out of the house once I was treated like a monster. She has a physical fight with my mom and things are fine an hour later. She doesn't have to work for anything.

Well not in every case these days. I don't speak to my grandmother much these days but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like it. Which is why I didn't send my own Christmas card. Two lesbians and a little chihuahua with Merry Christmas written above with a fancy cursive font. I'm not embarrassed of who I am, but I'm not looking to start issues either. I keep it away from the people who won't like it, and they should appreciate that and not treat me like a black sheep.

 

I can relate to that. It's frustrating. I feel for you and your situation.

 

Thanks man.