So im walking outside to my car and I see my ex...we had just gotten into an argument about him saying i cant go to him anymore even if i was with a jerk...so i was pretty pissed about that but i see him...and next to him hes slobbering all over is this big fat bitch hes been wanting to date...im thinking THAT is the girl hes been wanting to date? THAT?? Shes clingy and whorey and dirty....and he choses HER over me...I dont care but thats a self esteem lower there... I felt disgusted and violated. I just had the worse night of my life and i had to see that the next day... I started crying and i shoved myself in the car cause I just dont get it...the guys i meet tell me "ooo you're so pretty and beauitful, why arnt you taken??" I just look at them and think you're so full of shit...I hear guys like you all the time but we never end up going anywhere seriously and we dont. i just end up still being stuck alone, not that i dont mind but its nice to have someone around a lot of people tell me i dont give myself enough credit but after seeing that today, it blew a fuse in me. i AM a nice girl and i should be treated great. I get stuck with low lives all the time and i settle for it cause i think i wont do better. but im tired of the assholes and the "almost boyfriends" I really want to meet a man in my life, almost 19 years and i havent, i dont know what true love is, no one i went out with fell in love with me, i know that for sure. Im thinking thats why im not all for dating, because i know no one could fall in love with me, just one time just venting..