just need to let out some thoughts

the fact that this is how im spending my first two years of college fucking sucks, and its even worse that this wasnt something i did to myself, its all because of something someone did to me...

 

You're letting the shitty things that are in or have happened to you in life define you. Stop doing that and you'll be on the right track.

 

Absolutely. Crap things will always happen, and if you keep them with you, then they will continue to mess things up for you. It's hard, but you need to push things aside, I'm sure you are better than that.

 

Well it took 7 pages for you to let us know that "its even worse that this wasn’t something I did to myself, it’s all because of something someone did to me..."

So maybe, just maybe a nice starting place would be to talk to a councilor/therapist...
about that particular episode (whatever it was). Maybe helping you deal with this issue will allow all pieces to start falling into place.

If they gave you just one dose of valium or some other anti-anxiety medication, that may ease your mind just long enough to formulate some type of game plan.

If your parents are not involved in the initial incident, then talk to them; don't worry about being too embarrassed to talk to them. Sometimes parents can really surprise you in times of crisis. If you tell them (again provided they are not the cause) then you have eliminated many of the issues you have raised. You don't have to worry about your parents finding out through a medical bill or call from whomever you decide to talk to. They will already know.

I flunked out my 1st semester freshman year, my parents had scraped up enough money for me to go, but after the initial disappointment, they mellowed out, figured out a game plan. I took 1 local course, got a B, got a sense of accomplishment and went on to another school-graduated, and just missed the honor roll my final semester. My parents were so proud and agreed I needed to get whatever out of my system and decided to be a huge source of support.

So if taking the rest of this year off is the decision of your support group, than so be it. I am living proof-you can get a fresh start when you are ready and live out the rest of your life with a sense of accomplishment and hopefully with some joy.

 

Again I say: Take charge of YOUR life.

And it's not that I'm unsympathetic. I've been there. I flunked out at the end of my first year of college - because of something somebody "did to me" - and I've been there in a more recent situation, too. At some point you need to leave off leaning on the drugs or alcohol and work on more effective coping skills - a support group - goals worth living for, to get your mind off your problems - exercise and fresh air - anything at all that keeps up your enthusiasm for life and feelings of accomplishment.

In other words - back to what I said before - focus on WHAT YOU WANT from your life, and how you're going to get there. And when the other stuff comes up in your mind, stuff it back down again. And you'll be surprised - eventually you're likely to find that the stuff that seemed so hard to deal with somehow no longer makes any difference.

And yeah - like Keenman, I have fucked up my life major big time on several occasions. And you know: Fucking up your life once in a while sometimes turns out to be the best thing you could have done. It teaches you that a lot of the things you think are important are really just bullshit. And you start to figure out what really matters.

 

I think she just needs a good sting in the ass with some Haldol..

In some countries this can be involuntary under Community Treatment Orders..

 

I suppose we could pack her into a plane and bring her to you in the UK - get that hypodermic ready...:eggnog:

When they did that to my stepdaughter she became the floppy-headed wonder.

 

Have to be under section here I'm afraid.

 

I think the Audubon Society used some bad tranquilizer when they darted, tagged, and released this squirrel back into the wild- to capture unfettered internet access and harass people trying to sort out issues in a place they should feel safe doing so. If the hunters get you, orison319, please have them mail the tags back and try not to mar the pelt... I know a good taxidermist...

 

Orison's fur is probably a little motley already from falling cigarette ashes...

 

if shes lying to other's (professionals): shes lying to us..

but really into illegal drugs..

 

she's young, confused, and dumb. you were once, and still are at times.

 

Not in this forum, orison...

 

Department of Behavioral Health/Mental Retardation, Philadelphia's leader in addiction recovery ..
Suicide and Crisis Intervention Hotline (215) 686-4420
http://www.dbhmrs.org/


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Philadelphia Mental Health Center provides professional affordable mental health services to children, adolescents, adults and families, and therapeutic interventions that enhance the quality of life for our clients, particularly underserved and disadvantaged people in greater Philadelphia.
We strive to support all age groups through varied, innovative programs at three locations in the Delaware Valley, and make a commitment to personal health and wellness by designing services tailored to our clients' specific and individual needs.
http://www.philamentalhealth.org/

 

How dare you say that about orison! He is not young even some of the time!

 

i actually rarely do drugs anymore, not that its any of your business, and not that you know ANYTHING about my life (although for whatever reason you act like you do...)

anyway its not like im holding back what happened and never talked to anyone about it.
my friends know
my parents know
ive been seeing a therapist.

what im going through now is related but its different from how i felt last semester when it happened. its harder to manage...
no one knows im suicidal except for my therapist and my roommates, and one of my good friends.

 

if anyone else has something to say or would like to help me out/talk to me about this, please PM me, thanks