just need to let out some thoughts

oh, and calling one of the helplines then if you can't get out of bed.

 

It's okay that you missed your classes. That information can be made up for later. Not every class is imperative.

I would consider calling either your family or one of the lines that other poster posted. Your family and friends care about you and will be more than willing to listen to you and offer you anything they can. There's absolutely no reason to suffer alone.

People care about you and they care about your happiness. Take the rest of the day to talk to or surround yourself with people who care about you and tell them exactly how your feeling. They will sympathize with you, try to help, and they will make sure you know that they care about you.

No one can force you to say or go anywhere you don't want to go so don't even worry about that. Just tell them how you feel. They care and when you realize this you will already begin to feel better.

Don't be embarrassed to discuss what's going on in your life or how you feel. Open up and you'll feel much better. Every single person has things go on in their life that make them unhappy and so they'll understand and be there for you, just as you may have been there for some of them.

 

i wish, but they cant prescribe me anything there.

 

not directly, but they can get the ball rolling on getting you to the care you need

 

also i still dont know how i feel about taking meds...

 

This song helped me so much, maybe it will provide some comfort:

i need you to be the strength of widows and soul survivors
i need you to be as fearless as new mothers and new fathers
i need you to be the hope of hearts who lost true love
i need you to be the might of their first kiss
i need a purpose and i need a reason
i need to know that there is trophy and meaning
to all that we lose and all we fight for
to all our loves and our wars
keep breathing
keep living
keep searching
keep pushing on
keep bleeding
keep healing
keep fading
keep shining on
this is for the hearts still beating

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOZY8VJ4nlk&feature=related"]YouTube - Converge first light+last light

 

I think that there is a lot to criticize about meds. I think in the short term at least, they can be helpful or necessary. Going untreated is far more dangerous to you right now than taking meds.

Getting to a place where you are safe and can function is probably a good starting place. From there, talk therapy, maybe electro-convulsive therapy.

I'm a big fan of acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine for a wide variety of illnesses. Getting 1/2hour of gentle aerobic activity everyday can be good too, as well as dietary changes.

Right now though, you're in the danger zone, and meds are the fastest acting thing.

Whether or not you want to take meds is something that you can talk over with a councilor, but it's really important for you to connect with some sort of health professional or organization (councilor, psychologist, psychiatrist, md, hospital emergency room, or crisis line operator) asap because YOU ARE IN DANGER!!!!!

 

ok well the other thing is....
i know that this is one of those things that they are supposed to tell people, like its one of the things they have to break the confidentiality thing.
but who do they tell?
do they tell the school? my parents? like these are things i want to know before telling them any of this stuff.

 

maybe call one of the help lines and they can tell you about confidentiality issues. I think that there is also a web site www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org that may have some info. Also, http://www.befrienders.org

I don't think that they have to tell your parents. You may want the school to know in order to get a medical incomplete or other acomodation from your school. You could ask a councilor at the beginning of the session.

 

You know what you need..INSPIRATION!!!
Find something that makes you warm inside something that you will live for.
It's your second year in college man live for your education!
Good luck
Say to yourself ''It's not the end of the world.''

 

i managed to get up and go to the counselors today...
but i straight up lied to them.
i told them about my friend saying whether i should go to the hospital, and they did an evaluation right there. they asked me if the thoughts had moved from the back of my head, like as in whether or not i was considering it... i told them i wasnt/never had... which is not true... i mean i dont feel like i want to now but i definitely contemplated it yesterday morning.

i just freaked out, i knew that if i told them that they would want to send me to the hospital... im just stressed out because i dont want to miss all that school and they talked about the possibility of me getting a medical withdrawal (which would mean i would have to repeat the semester) which i really dont want to do... i mean it might help but i really want to just get my life back to normal, i dont want to have to leave everything now and live at home or in a hospital or some shit.

i dunno now im like freaking out because i didnt tell them everything, she totally caught onto it too, she said she felt like i wasnt telling her something and i was like "no"... fuck im just really freaked out right now.

 

first of all, everyone has already told you that they cannot send you anywhere unless you commit a crime (attempting suicide, violence,etc.)

second, leave your comfort zone of depression. you are obviously aware of what is going on, and now it's time to let go of it and figure out the next step. this depression is where you live, it is where you get familiarity and comfort. you have to change this.

third, take suicide off your list of options. there's got to be a friend that you would love to see again; a place you've always wanted to travel to; a dish that you've never tasted; a love you've never had; a song you've never heard....it's not even "you've got so much to live for", it's that there's always at least one thing you would enjoy doing again, or doing for the first time. At least get that last exprience before you end it all. another one last thing will come along, and then another...

this is also a useful list...
http://www.themeaningoflife.org/

 

if i tell them that i seriously considered it then they have to break the confidentiality thing and tell someone... i dont know who that someone is, i wish i knew. if i knew that then maybe i would tell them

 

they can't forcibly institutionalize you.

 

ok... but what will they do?
i dont want them to tell my parents or some shit

 

shiiiiiiiiit. you're a minor?

i dunno man. you need to tell someone. if you call a hotline they won't tell anyone.

 

no im not, im 19
but im in college, which my parents are paying for, and they pay for my health insurance.
they would know if i got admitted to a hospital/was prescribed meds but would they have to know why?
if i told the therapist that i had considered it the other day would they need to tell my parents?

 

well, i wouldn't hide this from them completely anyways. get your treatment and they may notice it on a statement/bill much later. bring it up before then. isn't there a student health center at your school? tell them about it, usually good schools will have a mental health facility for students b/c this is so common. they have group meetings which may be another option for you.
another thing that i would suggest that (if you are in the US) you must have health insurance to be in school. you can buy it through the school yourself, and that way your parents don't know about your private health costs.

 

i dont have the money to get my own health insurance... and i do have health insurance anyway but my parents pay for it.

i AM going to the school's services.

what i'm asking is
when they are in a situation where they need to break confidentiality (so if a patient says they might kill themselves/harm themselves or someone else) who do they tell?

 

orison, please FUCK OFF.