Just need a little help....

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by lexyloo, May 17, 2013.

  1. lexyloo

    lexyloo Guest

    Hi, so, I'm 18 and I've known that I am gay for years but I just haven't really been able to accept it. I go through all the motions of a straight girl and I even have a kind of boyfriend just now, I just don't know how to sort this. I have never told any body that I am gay and only one of my friends even knows that I like too look at other girls. Me and my female friends are all very comfortable around each other in the way that none of us are bothered about seeing each other naked and such. I am not attracted to any of my friends and am worried that if I told them I am gay they might feel as though our relationships ought to change or that I have been creeping on them or something :( I just don't know what to do :( I don't know how I expect anyone to be able to help but even if someone just reads this at least I will have told someone and just that makes me feel a little better.
  2. Victoria1987

    Victoria1987 Member

    It's a tough situation, isn't it? If you want someone to talk to about what you're going through, I'm available.
  3. ShowerShoes

    ShowerShoes Guest

    Start small. Don't feel like you have to reveal your feelings to all your friends at once. Is there one person in your group you trust to talk to about it? Trust your friendship. You might be surprised at how little it will matter to them in terms of thinking of you differently If they have a problem with you being gay, it's THEIR problem. You are the same person you have always been. I know what you mean about not wanting to make them uncomfortable. I used to have a job in fashion and I was concerned that the women would be uncomfortable around me, but in over a decade that was never once the case.
  4. lexyloo

    lexyloo Guest

    I thought I might be able to do it, but I can't :(
  5. silk896

    silk896 Member

    The fact that you have, in your own way, come out to yourself means you are well on the way.
    Self-acceptance is probably the hardest aspect of coming out. You're 18. Really still a child. (I do NOT mean that in any disparaging way.)
    The human condition is such a complex thing - Heavens, I'm mid-40's and am still bewildered by some aspects of the way humans operate.
    Don't expect, at 18 to be able to conquer all the issues that life will throw at you: being confused is not a sin. You are still you. be as true to yourself as you can, but a little anguish is really a part of life and every one of us builds on that anguish.

    We've all been there in some way, you are not alone. Just let the days pass and it should become easier.
  6. Ruzo_13

    Ruzo_13 Guest

    I've been in exactly your position. At first I found it hard to accept myself, but then when I finally did I faced the whole problem of how I was going to tell my friends, for the same reasons, I thought it would change our relationship and that they might become paranoid I was creeping on them. But after years of tormenting myself and trying to play it straight I finally found myself in a position where I was comfortable enough with myself that I had the courage to come out to my friends, again I didn't tell them all at once, one by one I got through them, and with each positive reaction I got the more encouragement I got to come out. Nothing has changed, in fact I got given out to for not telling them sooner, they have been great, which I kinda knew they would be I only thought of the worst possible scenarios that could come from me telling them. If they truly are your friends it won't make a blind bit of difference to them if it does its their problem and not yours. Trust your gut instinct I think you'll find it rarely lets you down. :)
  7. lexyloo

    lexyloo Guest

    thank you all for your advice and stuff, you have all helped me to take some of the pressure off myself, I guess I forgot that its just as scary for everyone else and you all managed to do it so one day (hopefully soon) I will be able to too :D

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