Just fuck the mattress.

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by xDeceitfullyYoursx, May 3, 2007.

  1. I was talking to my girlfriend about my FtM issues, and it was just the best thing ever.

    Her: Hm... well on the bright side, it'll sure be a lot easier for you to masturbate! 8D
    Me: o_O;
    Her: Just think! You could just whip it out wherever, whenever, and be like UNF!! UNFFFF!! OH YEAH BABY YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!
    Me: Uhm, I don't really think that's a huge priority with my change. ;>>
    Her: ... Well, still. -Shrugs.-

    xD Just stuff like this; she's such a horndog and I find it adorably cute, since neither of us have really engaged in more than kissing/groping. Oh!! AND THEN!

    Her: You know like, when you wanna wank or something... dude! Just lift up the mattress, stick it between the mattress and the box spring, and GUNG HO!
    Me: xD;; For some reason, I have a hunch that it would chafe horribly.
    Her: Yeah, but if it were me I'd have a bad rash for days as long as it meant I had an awesome wank!

    Oh my.

    I just thought I'd share with you all the craziness that is me and my girlfriend. We were talking about how we wanted to coin the term "I'ma fuck yo' mattress, bitch!!!" and send it in to the producer of the Scary Movies, and see if they used it. xD;; Just a passing thought.

    It's cold in my room. o_O; Maybe I should shut the window... ;>> ... Nah, I'm too lazy/comfortable to get up. Muwarhaha.
  2. LuckyStripe

    LuckyStripe Mundane.

    That was REALLY hard to read.
  3. SunStoned72

    SunStoned72 just kidding

    i don't get it.
  4. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

  5. beautifulhippie2

    beautifulhippie2 TyeDyeChicka!

  6. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    I think he was saying its easier to masterbate if your a man, well I'm not talking about female to male transexuals here, but at least as women you don't have a mess to clear up at the end- sorry to much imformation?
  7. lmao!!

    that was halarious =D
  8. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    you'll never look at your mattress in the same way. espiecally if its second hand!!!
  9. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    but of course, your smurf is a bit clueless
  10. ew... I would never get a second hand one.. I have a hard time sleeping in a hotel
    I use to clean those things and ewwww .....you don't want to know

    but hahahaaa... yea I'm sittin here lookin at my bed like... is that really possible?!? *confused* lol
  11. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    have you could a man in your life you could ask to give it a go?
  12. mmm.. yea I'm totally ganna ask him if he's ever attempted but I could just stand by and watch... I'd get to into it and want to take the mattresses place ;)
  13. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    or fall about laughing
  14. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    soapy titwanks are much easier
  15. mm.. now I'm missin my man
    yay!! it's friday though....*mmm my ctue man*

    I bet it would be a bit outrageous to see some guy lookin as if he is trying to adjust the bed with his hips... then Oo aww squirt he collapses on the mattress
  16. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    'now get those sheets off and start sponging it down, you made that mess'

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