Journey of the Last Tear

and so it would seem
it was all just a dream
never true
never you
not to me

she spoke it soft
it trickled neat
a red teardrop that followed
the line of her cheek
quiet and sure of the passage of time
til the path of her delicate jaw
slanted up to the sky
leaving gravity's unforgiving hand
to the art
of catching her youthful
bleeding heart

on the cold marble tapestry
of muddy footprints

 

Loved the opening lines. Got a little wordy and seemed to throw off the rythmn. But very nice. Those line caught me as well..
____________________________
leaving gravity's unforgiving hand to the art
of catching her youthful, bleeding heart

 

Something about this pulled me in...I like!

 

i really liked this one...i can see where gdhmomchild is coming from though...i dont think it is wordy at all, but breaking up some of the longer lines differently would improve the flow of this piece...it has such beautiful imagry...

 

btw...i loved your title...

 

thanks for all your input...i broke it up a little, hope it flows better

 

that was pretty good, i have no flow sense at all, i judge a poem by how much from the heart it is and by what it is about and if i can relate, i liked it