Journal #55, May 26 (NSFW)

Happy Memorial Day to all my fellow Americans!

I've been having a lot of thoughts lately I don't really know how to put into words. These thoughts center around gay sex! I've been going through periods where I desire sex with guys and literally in a second I don't desire sex at all. I don't want that. I want to want sex with guys consistently because I like wanting sex with guys! I like being aroused by the idea of being alone and naked with another man, and I look forward to future opportunities of that. Speaking of that, I don't want to lose that desire once I'm finally alone and naked with another man. Hopefully any man that is with me will see this and will be able to arouse and seduce me enough to desire him and want to offer myself to him.

I really want him to take me and make me feel really good about my queer desires, helping me forget about any reason I might hesitate to enjoy his pleasurable touch. I want to lie down and have him lie down on top of me while I grab on to him tightly by my hands and feet, accepting his affection and accepting my queerness while we share intimacy with a deep kiss. Our hearts pound as our erections tell a familiar message of arousal and desire. After some lubrication and stretching, he enters me. We share furtive kisses as he thrusts in my body and we gaze deeply in each other's eyes with ecstasy.

After what seems like an eternity I can tell he's about to cum. I feel him shoot his sperm deep inside me. It is now official: another man now owns me because his sperm will now become part of my body. The sensation of the flow along with the psychological implications excites me and I can't hold back from orgasm. My sperm spreads around as a sign of acceptance of my sexual freedom. My post nut clarity consists not of guilt and shame but of inner peace and gratitude of making a new friend and same sex lover, with hopes of many more instances of beautiful lovemaking in the future. We kiss some more, cuddle and fall asleep with big smiles on our faces, ready to celebrate homosexuality again in the morning.